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There’s more to kissing than meets the eye. According to recent research, humans didn’t invent kissing just so we could show affection for each other. We developed it so we could – believe it or not – smell the other person. Don’t believe it? See below. What’s in a Scent When it comes to mate selection, our […]

The post Why We Kiss: The Science appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5857) "

There’s more to kissing than meets the eye.

According to recent research, humans didn’t invent kissing just so we could show affection for each other. We developed it so we could – believe it or not – smell the other person.

Don’t believe it? See below.

What’s in a Scent

When it comes to mate selection, our noses are on the lookout for a certain gene – the Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC).

MHC controls how effective our immune systems are. Women seek men who have an MHC that is different than their own—since any offspring produced with said man is likely to be healthier.

According to some scientists, humans learned early on that the best way to get a whiff of someone’s genes was to position their noses close to each other’s faces. (There’s a reason that ancient Hindu texts described kissing as “smelling with the mouth.”)

Vaughn Bryrant, an anthropologist at Texas A & M University, explained: “At some point, [people] slipped and ended up on the lips, and they thought that was a lot better. You got a lot more bang for your buck.”

More bang for your buck, indeed—kissing comes with a slew of extra evolutionary benefits. Male saliva contains a small amount of testosterone, which is transferred to a woman during open mouth kissing and thought to increase her receptivity to him. (According to several studies, this may be why men apparently prefer sloppier, saliva-swapping kisses). And men, in turn, might be able to use the kiss as a way to assess a woman’s estrogen level and fertility.

Romancing the Kiss  

If kissing is so functional, why have we come to regard it as romantic?

Some trace the birth of the “romantic” kiss to a 3000 year-old Indian poem written by Mahabharata:

She set her mouth to my mouth and made a noise that produced pleasure in me.”

Since then, poets from around the world have idealized the act of kissing, equating it with the highest, transcendent pleasure. Shelley famously stated, “Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.” And Tennyson seemed to agree: “Once he drew with one long kiss my whole soul through my lips, as sunlight drinketh dew.”

However, not every culture has considered kissing romantic. In Ancient Rome, Emperor Tiberius sought to ban kissing because he was worried it would spread leprosy. In 1864, William Winwood Reade, a British explorer in Africa, noted how one African princess thought he was trying to eat her when he went in for the kiss.

And as late as 1990, the Workers’ Daily in Beijing wrote:

The invasive Europeans brought the kissing custom to China, but it is regarded as a vulgar practice which is all too suggestive of cannibalism.”

Today, 10% of worldwide cultures do not practice kissing. They do, however, partake in other ways of smelling each other—reaffirming the notion that what is evolutionarily most important is the scent.

According to Vaughn Bryant, “Kissing is a behavior that’s 100 per cent learned and has absolutely nothing to do with genetics.”

Pucker Up

Biology aside, the “learned” act of kissing has a large significance in our romantic lives. Studies about human memory have shown that people remember their first kiss more than their first sexual encounter.

Of course, kissing means different things to men and women. According to Gorgon Gallup of the University of Albany, “Males tend to kiss as a means of gaining sexual favors, or as a means of affecting reconciliation. Females kiss more as a mate-assessment device.”

Sheril Kirshenbaum, author of the best-selling book, The Scienceof Kissingnotes: “Women have a stronger sense of smell and taste and when we are kissing, we use the information we get from our senses. It is nature’s ultimate litmus test.”

And it’s a test that some people just don’t pass. According to Kirshenbaum, “59 percent of men and 66 percent of women say they have ended a budding relationship because a kiss didn’t go well. It’s your body’s way of saying, look elsewhere.”

The take-away message, then, might simply be to make a good first impression with the first smooch. If the kiss is the test for the future of a relationship, infuse it with all of the attractive qualities you have to offer—warmth, confidence, and receptiveness.

***

At the end of the day, it’s a good thing humans invented kissing, since it may be essential for our survival. One study in Germany found that men who kiss their wives before leaving for work live an extra five years, have a higher income, and are 50% less likely to get in a car accident.

Certainly, these benefits are likely not a direct result of kissing itself—rather, they reflect the positive lifestyle associated with happy relationships. Kisses signify healthy relationships; healthy relationships lead to happier lives. Just remember what John Keats had to say on the subject:

Now a soft kiss – Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss.”

The post Why We Kiss: The Science appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(67) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/15/why-we-kiss-the-science/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(569) "

There’s more to kissing than meets the eye. According to recent research, humans didn’t invent kissing just so we could show affection for each other. We developed it so we could – believe it or not – smell the other person. Don’t believe it? See below. What’s in a Scent When it comes to mate selection, our […]

The post Why We Kiss: The Science appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5857) "

There’s more to kissing than meets the eye.

According to recent research, humans didn’t invent kissing just so we could show affection for each other. We developed it so we could – believe it or not – smell the other person.

Don’t believe it? See below.

What’s in a Scent

When it comes to mate selection, our noses are on the lookout for a certain gene – the Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC).

MHC controls how effective our immune systems are. Women seek men who have an MHC that is different than their own—since any offspring produced with said man is likely to be healthier.

According to some scientists, humans learned early on that the best way to get a whiff of someone’s genes was to position their noses close to each other’s faces. (There’s a reason that ancient Hindu texts described kissing as “smelling with the mouth.”)

Vaughn Bryrant, an anthropologist at Texas A & M University, explained: “At some point, [people] slipped and ended up on the lips, and they thought that was a lot better. You got a lot more bang for your buck.”

More bang for your buck, indeed—kissing comes with a slew of extra evolutionary benefits. Male saliva contains a small amount of testosterone, which is transferred to a woman during open mouth kissing and thought to increase her receptivity to him. (According to several studies, this may be why men apparently prefer sloppier, saliva-swapping kisses). And men, in turn, might be able to use the kiss as a way to assess a woman’s estrogen level and fertility.

Romancing the Kiss  

If kissing is so functional, why have we come to regard it as romantic?

Some trace the birth of the “romantic” kiss to a 3000 year-old Indian poem written by Mahabharata:

She set her mouth to my mouth and made a noise that produced pleasure in me.”

Since then, poets from around the world have idealized the act of kissing, equating it with the highest, transcendent pleasure. Shelley famously stated, “Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.” And Tennyson seemed to agree: “Once he drew with one long kiss my whole soul through my lips, as sunlight drinketh dew.”

However, not every culture has considered kissing romantic. In Ancient Rome, Emperor Tiberius sought to ban kissing because he was worried it would spread leprosy. In 1864, William Winwood Reade, a British explorer in Africa, noted how one African princess thought he was trying to eat her when he went in for the kiss.

And as late as 1990, the Workers’ Daily in Beijing wrote:

The invasive Europeans brought the kissing custom to China, but it is regarded as a vulgar practice which is all too suggestive of cannibalism.”

Today, 10% of worldwide cultures do not practice kissing. They do, however, partake in other ways of smelling each other—reaffirming the notion that what is evolutionarily most important is the scent.

According to Vaughn Bryant, “Kissing is a behavior that’s 100 per cent learned and has absolutely nothing to do with genetics.”

Pucker Up

Biology aside, the “learned” act of kissing has a large significance in our romantic lives. Studies about human memory have shown that people remember their first kiss more than their first sexual encounter.

Of course, kissing means different things to men and women. According to Gorgon Gallup of the University of Albany, “Males tend to kiss as a means of gaining sexual favors, or as a means of affecting reconciliation. Females kiss more as a mate-assessment device.”

Sheril Kirshenbaum, author of the best-selling book, The Scienceof Kissingnotes: “Women have a stronger sense of smell and taste and when we are kissing, we use the information we get from our senses. It is nature’s ultimate litmus test.”

And it’s a test that some people just don’t pass. According to Kirshenbaum, “59 percent of men and 66 percent of women say they have ended a budding relationship because a kiss didn’t go well. It’s your body’s way of saying, look elsewhere.”

The take-away message, then, might simply be to make a good first impression with the first smooch. If the kiss is the test for the future of a relationship, infuse it with all of the attractive qualities you have to offer—warmth, confidence, and receptiveness.

***

At the end of the day, it’s a good thing humans invented kissing, since it may be essential for our survival. One study in Germany found that men who kiss their wives before leaving for work live an extra five years, have a higher income, and are 50% less likely to get in a car accident.

Certainly, these benefits are likely not a direct result of kissing itself—rather, they reflect the positive lifestyle associated with happy relationships. Kisses signify healthy relationships; healthy relationships lead to happier lives. Just remember what John Keats had to say on the subject:

Now a soft kiss – Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss.”

The post Why We Kiss: The Science appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1539614069) } [1]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(39) "Top 3 Dating Lessons from Goldman Sachs" ["link"]=> string(78) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/15/top-3-dating-lessons-from-goldman-sachs/" ["comments"]=> string(86) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/15/top-3-dating-lessons-from-goldman-sachs/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 15 Oct 2018 14:17:32 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(49) "Dating AdviceLove & SexdatingGoldman Sachslessons" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1005" ["description"]=> string(638) "

It was, in some ways, every unsatisfied employee’s fantasy resignation —a vitriolic exit letter, delivered right under the boss’s nose to millions of readers around the world. The situation? Greg Smith, executive director of Goldman Sachs, quit his job. In a scathing op ed that appeared in New York Times, Smith slammed his once-beloved investment bank […]

The post Top 3 Dating Lessons from Goldman Sachs appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6943) "

It was, in some ways, every unsatisfied employee’s fantasy resignation —a vitriolic exit letter, delivered right under the boss’s nose to millions of readers around the world.

The situation? Greg Smith, executive director of Goldman Sachs, quit his job. In a scathing op ed that appeared in New York Times, Smith slammed his once-beloved investment bank for becoming (as he describes) a profit-hungry machine. The article instantly ignited impassioned responses from supporters, critics, and comedians around the world.

Regardless of what you may think of Goldman Sachs, it’s hard to ignore the emotions wrapped up in Smith’s letter. His exit strategy felt like a nasty, highly publicized break-up—one that forced strangers to take sides, and one that left both parties feeling bitter and betrayed.

Sound familiar?

Greg Smith’s op-ed could have actually been describing your average, dysfunctional romantic relationship.

As it turns out, what goes wrong in corporate relationships and what goes wrong in romantic relationships are surprisingly similar. Find out why Goldman Sachs may have inadvertently just given you some valuable love advice.

What went wrong?

There’s a reason people are often accused of “dating their job,” and it’s because in a way, everyone is. Like a relationship, a job requires significant mental and emotional energy, some degree of sacrifice, an enormous time commitment, and, arguably, the best years of your life. And as in a romantic relationship, no employee (or employer) wants to be undervalued, betrayed, or—dumped.

In some ways, there’s no better corporate parallel for the dating scene than an investment bank, which—quite literally—leads mergers. The art of investment banking requires figuring out the best way to bring two parties together in a way that will satisfy both. And successfully executing a merger requires building a great deal of trust and mutual respect.

Smith’s “break-up” with Goldman Sachs, then, can teach us what happens when a company loses sight of how to be—for lack of a better term—a good boyfriend.

  1. There’s no such thing as a relationship without trust 

Trust requires knowing that the person you are dealing with will do what is in your best interest—and act honorably.

In the context of investment banking, this means that Goldman Sachs would be expected to organize the most beneficial deals for its clients even if they didn’t end up reaping the highest return for the bank in the short-term. There is commercial (as well as ethical) rationale to this; one must have foresight and invest in relationships to assure their long-term profitability. Such behavior, of course, first requires a certain amount of sacrifice on the part of the bank. And, crucially—this kind of sacrifice should be a duty rather than a choice.

Smith, apparently, did not feel as though Goldman was living up to this standard.

In a romantic context, the importance of sacrifice is nothing new—people have been hammering this point home ever since the Bible. Sacrifice can often be the best test of someone’s faith in a long-term relationship.

In both business and love, individuals want to be with people they can trust. Without this level of trust, the client – or your date – will look elsewhere. As Smith stated:

“If clients don’t trust you they will eventually stop doing business with you. It doesn’t matter how smart you are.”

  1. There’s no such thing as a short cut

Well, there is—but it may end up hurting you in the long run. One of Smith’s grievances with Goldman was that in his view, the company focused too much on its immediate goals rather its important goals.

Smith argued: “My proudest moments in life…have all come through hard work, with no shortcuts.”

Just as there is no short cut from the first date to the wedding date (at least, no short cut that works out), there is way to rush the development of a relationship that matters. The most lasting partnerships take years to curate. Solely focusing on immediate goals—like going out for a fancy dinner of buying a massive house—will hardly inspire enough emotion to make anyone enjoy either.

  1. People before profit

In any form of relationship – professional, platonic, or romantic – few traits are more destructive than being self-centered. Smith’s parting advice to his ex-employers was the following:

“Make the client the focal point of your business again.”

While one may debate Goldman’s specific ethical quandaries and obligations, the general piece of advice is sound: losing sight of the needs of the client means losing sight of the reason an investment bank exists in the first place. By definition, nothing is more central to a relationship than the other individual.

The romantic translation of Smith’s parting words is simply: make the other person the focal point of your relationship. If you treat romantic partners as though they exist only to make you happy, don’t act surprised when they stop existing.

***

It is a worthwhile exercise to compare romantic relationships to corporate dynamics. After all, romantic relationships—which are notoriously complicated—provide a blueprint for how to understand most others.

And in the end, the success of any business rides on the success of its interpersonal relationships. A company is only as strong as the dynamics between company and client, employer and employee. The take-away message then, might simply be to court a client the same way you would court someone who is considering dating you. What qualities would draw someone to you for life? Sincerity, respect, and loyalty.

And, when it comes to romantic relationships, it’s important to recognize that your real partner will always be your best, most valued client.

The post Top 3 Dating Lessons from Goldman Sachs appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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It was, in some ways, every unsatisfied employee’s fantasy resignation —a vitriolic exit letter, delivered right under the boss’s nose to millions of readers around the world. The situation? Greg Smith, executive director of Goldman Sachs, quit his job. In a scathing op ed that appeared in New York Times, Smith slammed his once-beloved investment bank […]

The post Top 3 Dating Lessons from Goldman Sachs appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6943) "

It was, in some ways, every unsatisfied employee’s fantasy resignation —a vitriolic exit letter, delivered right under the boss’s nose to millions of readers around the world.

The situation? Greg Smith, executive director of Goldman Sachs, quit his job. In a scathing op ed that appeared in New York Times, Smith slammed his once-beloved investment bank for becoming (as he describes) a profit-hungry machine. The article instantly ignited impassioned responses from supporters, critics, and comedians around the world.

Regardless of what you may think of Goldman Sachs, it’s hard to ignore the emotions wrapped up in Smith’s letter. His exit strategy felt like a nasty, highly publicized break-up—one that forced strangers to take sides, and one that left both parties feeling bitter and betrayed.

Sound familiar?

Greg Smith’s op-ed could have actually been describing your average, dysfunctional romantic relationship.

As it turns out, what goes wrong in corporate relationships and what goes wrong in romantic relationships are surprisingly similar. Find out why Goldman Sachs may have inadvertently just given you some valuable love advice.

What went wrong?

There’s a reason people are often accused of “dating their job,” and it’s because in a way, everyone is. Like a relationship, a job requires significant mental and emotional energy, some degree of sacrifice, an enormous time commitment, and, arguably, the best years of your life. And as in a romantic relationship, no employee (or employer) wants to be undervalued, betrayed, or—dumped.

In some ways, there’s no better corporate parallel for the dating scene than an investment bank, which—quite literally—leads mergers. The art of investment banking requires figuring out the best way to bring two parties together in a way that will satisfy both. And successfully executing a merger requires building a great deal of trust and mutual respect.

Smith’s “break-up” with Goldman Sachs, then, can teach us what happens when a company loses sight of how to be—for lack of a better term—a good boyfriend.

  1. There’s no such thing as a relationship without trust 

Trust requires knowing that the person you are dealing with will do what is in your best interest—and act honorably.

In the context of investment banking, this means that Goldman Sachs would be expected to organize the most beneficial deals for its clients even if they didn’t end up reaping the highest return for the bank in the short-term. There is commercial (as well as ethical) rationale to this; one must have foresight and invest in relationships to assure their long-term profitability. Such behavior, of course, first requires a certain amount of sacrifice on the part of the bank. And, crucially—this kind of sacrifice should be a duty rather than a choice.

Smith, apparently, did not feel as though Goldman was living up to this standard.

In a romantic context, the importance of sacrifice is nothing new—people have been hammering this point home ever since the Bible. Sacrifice can often be the best test of someone’s faith in a long-term relationship.

In both business and love, individuals want to be with people they can trust. Without this level of trust, the client – or your date – will look elsewhere. As Smith stated:

“If clients don’t trust you they will eventually stop doing business with you. It doesn’t matter how smart you are.”

  1. There’s no such thing as a short cut

Well, there is—but it may end up hurting you in the long run. One of Smith’s grievances with Goldman was that in his view, the company focused too much on its immediate goals rather its important goals.

Smith argued: “My proudest moments in life…have all come through hard work, with no shortcuts.”

Just as there is no short cut from the first date to the wedding date (at least, no short cut that works out), there is way to rush the development of a relationship that matters. The most lasting partnerships take years to curate. Solely focusing on immediate goals—like going out for a fancy dinner of buying a massive house—will hardly inspire enough emotion to make anyone enjoy either.

  1. People before profit

In any form of relationship – professional, platonic, or romantic – few traits are more destructive than being self-centered. Smith’s parting advice to his ex-employers was the following:

“Make the client the focal point of your business again.”

While one may debate Goldman’s specific ethical quandaries and obligations, the general piece of advice is sound: losing sight of the needs of the client means losing sight of the reason an investment bank exists in the first place. By definition, nothing is more central to a relationship than the other individual.

The romantic translation of Smith’s parting words is simply: make the other person the focal point of your relationship. If you treat romantic partners as though they exist only to make you happy, don’t act surprised when they stop existing.

***

It is a worthwhile exercise to compare romantic relationships to corporate dynamics. After all, romantic relationships—which are notoriously complicated—provide a blueprint for how to understand most others.

And in the end, the success of any business rides on the success of its interpersonal relationships. A company is only as strong as the dynamics between company and client, employer and employee. The take-away message then, might simply be to court a client the same way you would court someone who is considering dating you. What qualities would draw someone to you for life? Sincerity, respect, and loyalty.

And, when it comes to romantic relationships, it’s important to recognize that your real partner will always be your best, most valued client.

The post Top 3 Dating Lessons from Goldman Sachs appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1539613052) } [2]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(45) "Answers To Your Questions About Senoir Dating" ["link"]=> string(84) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/11/answers-to-your-questions-about-senoir-dating/" ["comments"]=> string(92) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/11/answers-to-your-questions-about-senoir-dating/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 11 Oct 2018 13:49:23 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(75) "Dating AdviceDating IssuesQ&A+40+50+60advicedatingexpertrelationshipssenior" ["guid"]=> string(33) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=998" ["description"]=> string(574) "

Has Dad lost his mind? My father is 53 years old. He and my mother divorced more than two years ago after 27 years of marriage. I think he has lost his mind. He acts completely immature for his age and has a new motto, “You’re only as old as you act.” Based on this, […]

The post Answers To Your Questions About Senoir Dating appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(8123) "

Has Dad lost his mind?

My father is 53 years old. He and my mother divorced more than two years ago after 27 years of marriage. I think he has lost his mind. He acts completely immature for his age and has a new motto, “You’re only as old as you act.” Based on this, he is only 19. He’s attempting to date ladies 15+ years younger than he is, ladies with young children, etc. He is acting irresponsible, having drinks a lot more often, and just being weird. Is this a phase? Will he settle back down and be the dad I knew before? — Christie S., 27, Searcy, Ark.

Christie, first, kudos to you for caring about your parents. Many midlife men when they first become single try to recapture their youth by dating, or at least trying to date, younger women. In the majority of situations, they fail miserably. Generally, younger women want nothing to do with an older man unless he’s powerful or rich. Of course, there are exceptions and believe me, I will hear from them when they read that sentence. Eventually, you can hope your dad will “get it.” By that I mean, he will realize he is much better off with a woman close to his age who appreciates similar experiences, music, history and all the things people learn growing through the years.

Success envy?

Why is it that men appear to be turned off by a successful, busy woman? I am in business for myself and very busy. I would like to meet someone who appreciates the fact that I can take care of myself, someone who doesn’t feel intimated by my abilities and accomplishments. Am I expecting too much? — Bonnie T., 62, Lodi, OH.

Bonnie, no, you’re not expecting too much. The right man for you will appreciate your abilities and accomplishments; he’ll even encourage you to be yourself. Men who are intimidated by successful women usually lack confidence in themselves. They don’t want a woman showing them up. You’d never be happy with a man who doesn’t respect you and admire your success. Don’t get discouraged. Someday, a well-suited-for-you man will enter your life.

“When will he cut the cord?”

I know extended family issues can be complex. I have been with my boyfriend for eight years and accepted all his flaws. However, he has a dysfunctional family with some real issues and I don’t know how to keep dealing with them without blowing up. They are controlling. I feel he knows the mind games they play, but why does he allow them to continue? I know I cannot make him choose. He is going to be 60 this year. When is he going to cut the cord? — Jackie P., 50, Sacramento, Calif.

Jackie, if he hasn’t “cut the cord” by age 60 and for the eight years you’ve been with him, chances are he won’t. People don’t change much. I’m sure you’ve talked with him about the problem. If you haven’t, you need to. Ask him why he allows the mind games to continue. Don’t blow up and get out of control. If it gets unbearable, spend time away from him and see if that wakes him a bit. If it gets to be too much, then you may have to consider a change of boyfriends.

What’s the rush?

I have been receiving email responses from men that include email address, their telephone numbers, and invitations to lunch. Is this how it should work? I thought you were supposed to build a relationship with someone online before you meet them in person. Seems to me like everyone is in a big hurry. I don’t know anything more about these gentlemen than they know about me. Is this a good idea? — Julie L., 50, Budd Lake, N.J.

Julie, you’re right, best be careful when dealing with strangers. Don’t let anybody rush you. Before agreeing to meet in person, find out as much about the person as you can. Trust your instincts. Men who want to rush you are either desperate or just want sex. That being said, don’t spend too much time trying to get to know someone before meeting in person. You wouldn’t want to divulge a great deal of personal info before meeting someone, only to discover that he isn’t for you. You’d feel awkward and you’d have wasted your precious time.

Should we live together?

He and I are both looking for a life-partner relationship. We have had in-depth online communications for two months and in person for six weeks. We’ve been sleeping together for five weeks. His apt flooded and he has been staying with me for three weeks. I expect his apartment situation will be resolved within a month. We’re both sincere and honest. He’s fun, romantic, generous, a good roommate, we have a lot in common, and we are becoming more and more compatible sexually. Question: Do we continue to live together? — Kathy M., 54, Wallingford, Ct.

Kathy, living together after such a short period of knowing each other is risky business. Having a guest in your home is different from having a man move in. A guest you can ask to leave but getting rid of a roommate can be difficult. Keep your respective places to live for several more months before taking such a huge step. As it is, you’ve gone awfully fast in the relationship. I know people who’ve dated three years before living together.

Friendship, yes. Sex, no.

I have separated from my husband of 28 years. I would like to meet someone who is looking (like me) for friendship and companionship without getting into a sexual relationship. Do you think such a thing is possible? Or, am I the only person in the world who has had quite enough sex for one lifetime, but still needs a friend of the opposite gender? — Mary P., 50, Falls Church, Va.

Mary, well, let’s put it this way, having a sex drive is natural in most adults. Probably 95 percent of the men you’ll meet will run the other way when you put the “no sex” rule into play. Maybe you can find an older gent in church or somewhere who doesn’t want or need sex. Sex between consenting adults can be wonderful and healthy and it can strengthen a relationship. With the way you feel about sex, prepare to be alone.

The post Answers To Your Questions About Senoir Dating appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Has Dad lost his mind? My father is 53 years old. He and my mother divorced more than two years ago after 27 years of marriage. I think he has lost his mind. He acts completely immature for his age and has a new motto, “You’re only as old as you act.” Based on this, […]

The post Answers To Your Questions About Senoir Dating appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Has Dad lost his mind?

My father is 53 years old. He and my mother divorced more than two years ago after 27 years of marriage. I think he has lost his mind. He acts completely immature for his age and has a new motto, “You’re only as old as you act.” Based on this, he is only 19. He’s attempting to date ladies 15+ years younger than he is, ladies with young children, etc. He is acting irresponsible, having drinks a lot more often, and just being weird. Is this a phase? Will he settle back down and be the dad I knew before? — Christie S., 27, Searcy, Ark.

Christie, first, kudos to you for caring about your parents. Many midlife men when they first become single try to recapture their youth by dating, or at least trying to date, younger women. In the majority of situations, they fail miserably. Generally, younger women want nothing to do with an older man unless he’s powerful or rich. Of course, there are exceptions and believe me, I will hear from them when they read that sentence. Eventually, you can hope your dad will “get it.” By that I mean, he will realize he is much better off with a woman close to his age who appreciates similar experiences, music, history and all the things people learn growing through the years.

Success envy?

Why is it that men appear to be turned off by a successful, busy woman? I am in business for myself and very busy. I would like to meet someone who appreciates the fact that I can take care of myself, someone who doesn’t feel intimated by my abilities and accomplishments. Am I expecting too much? — Bonnie T., 62, Lodi, OH.

Bonnie, no, you’re not expecting too much. The right man for you will appreciate your abilities and accomplishments; he’ll even encourage you to be yourself. Men who are intimidated by successful women usually lack confidence in themselves. They don’t want a woman showing them up. You’d never be happy with a man who doesn’t respect you and admire your success. Don’t get discouraged. Someday, a well-suited-for-you man will enter your life.

“When will he cut the cord?”

I know extended family issues can be complex. I have been with my boyfriend for eight years and accepted all his flaws. However, he has a dysfunctional family with some real issues and I don’t know how to keep dealing with them without blowing up. They are controlling. I feel he knows the mind games they play, but why does he allow them to continue? I know I cannot make him choose. He is going to be 60 this year. When is he going to cut the cord? — Jackie P., 50, Sacramento, Calif.

Jackie, if he hasn’t “cut the cord” by age 60 and for the eight years you’ve been with him, chances are he won’t. People don’t change much. I’m sure you’ve talked with him about the problem. If you haven’t, you need to. Ask him why he allows the mind games to continue. Don’t blow up and get out of control. If it gets unbearable, spend time away from him and see if that wakes him a bit. If it gets to be too much, then you may have to consider a change of boyfriends.

What’s the rush?

I have been receiving email responses from men that include email address, their telephone numbers, and invitations to lunch. Is this how it should work? I thought you were supposed to build a relationship with someone online before you meet them in person. Seems to me like everyone is in a big hurry. I don’t know anything more about these gentlemen than they know about me. Is this a good idea? — Julie L., 50, Budd Lake, N.J.

Julie, you’re right, best be careful when dealing with strangers. Don’t let anybody rush you. Before agreeing to meet in person, find out as much about the person as you can. Trust your instincts. Men who want to rush you are either desperate or just want sex. That being said, don’t spend too much time trying to get to know someone before meeting in person. You wouldn’t want to divulge a great deal of personal info before meeting someone, only to discover that he isn’t for you. You’d feel awkward and you’d have wasted your precious time.

Should we live together?

He and I are both looking for a life-partner relationship. We have had in-depth online communications for two months and in person for six weeks. We’ve been sleeping together for five weeks. His apt flooded and he has been staying with me for three weeks. I expect his apartment situation will be resolved within a month. We’re both sincere and honest. He’s fun, romantic, generous, a good roommate, we have a lot in common, and we are becoming more and more compatible sexually. Question: Do we continue to live together? — Kathy M., 54, Wallingford, Ct.

Kathy, living together after such a short period of knowing each other is risky business. Having a guest in your home is different from having a man move in. A guest you can ask to leave but getting rid of a roommate can be difficult. Keep your respective places to live for several more months before taking such a huge step. As it is, you’ve gone awfully fast in the relationship. I know people who’ve dated three years before living together.

Friendship, yes. Sex, no.

I have separated from my husband of 28 years. I would like to meet someone who is looking (like me) for friendship and companionship without getting into a sexual relationship. Do you think such a thing is possible? Or, am I the only person in the world who has had quite enough sex for one lifetime, but still needs a friend of the opposite gender? — Mary P., 50, Falls Church, Va.

Mary, well, let’s put it this way, having a sex drive is natural in most adults. Probably 95 percent of the men you’ll meet will run the other way when you put the “no sex” rule into play. Maybe you can find an older gent in church or somewhere who doesn’t want or need sex. Sex between consenting adults can be wonderful and healthy and it can strengthen a relationship. With the way you feel about sex, prepare to be alone.

The post Answers To Your Questions About Senoir Dating appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1539265763) } [3]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(37) "The Graph That Explains All Break-Ups" ["link"]=> string(76) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/10/the-graph-that-explains-all-break-ups/" ["comments"]=> string(84) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/10/the-graph-that-explains-all-break-ups/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 10 Oct 2018 17:42:02 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(29) "Dating Issuesbreak upbreakups" ["guid"]=> string(33) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=992" ["description"]=> string(624) "

What does the second law of thermodynamics have to do with romance? Everything, according to one Madrid mathematician. In physics, the second law essentially states that heat can’t be transferred from a cold region to a hot region without an outside agent performing work on the system. Entropy, or “disorder,” will always increase in a closed […]

The post The Graph That Explains All Break-Ups appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(2036) "

What does the second law of thermodynamics have to do with romance? Everything, according to one Madrid mathematician.

In physics, the second law essentially states that heat can’t be transferred from a cold region to a hot region without an outside agent performing work on the system. Entropy, or “disorder,” will always increase in a closed system. José Manuel Rey, Ph.D, must have seen a connection between disorder and relationships, because he applied the second law of thermodynamics to disintegrating marriages.

He devised a suitably dense graph (see above) to illustrate his key findings. (Just like Tolstoy would have put it, right?)

Let’s skip the graph and jump to what Rey’s Second Law of “Sentimental Dynamics” actually means for you:

  1. You need to funnel energy into a relationship. Be spontaneous.  Otherwise, your “closed system” (read: marriage) will lose heat—in more ways than one.
  2. Don’t think you can stop putting effort into your relationship. People who think their relationship is perfect lull themselves into a false sense of security and don’t focus on maintaining it. Don’t commit physics hubris. Entropy—or disorder—will always increase.

Ultimately, it’s probably best if you start tackling the problems in your relationship sooner rather than later. If you don’t, you’re going to have to spend the rest of your life trying figure out how to read this graph.

The post The Graph That Explains All Break-Ups appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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What does the second law of thermodynamics have to do with romance? Everything, according to one Madrid mathematician. In physics, the second law essentially states that heat can’t be transferred from a cold region to a hot region without an outside agent performing work on the system. Entropy, or “disorder,” will always increase in a closed […]

The post The Graph That Explains All Break-Ups appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(2036) "

What does the second law of thermodynamics have to do with romance? Everything, according to one Madrid mathematician.

In physics, the second law essentially states that heat can’t be transferred from a cold region to a hot region without an outside agent performing work on the system. Entropy, or “disorder,” will always increase in a closed system. José Manuel Rey, Ph.D, must have seen a connection between disorder and relationships, because he applied the second law of thermodynamics to disintegrating marriages.

He devised a suitably dense graph (see above) to illustrate his key findings. (Just like Tolstoy would have put it, right?)

Let’s skip the graph and jump to what Rey’s Second Law of “Sentimental Dynamics” actually means for you:

  1. You need to funnel energy into a relationship. Be spontaneous.  Otherwise, your “closed system” (read: marriage) will lose heat—in more ways than one.
  2. Don’t think you can stop putting effort into your relationship. People who think their relationship is perfect lull themselves into a false sense of security and don’t focus on maintaining it. Don’t commit physics hubris. Entropy—or disorder—will always increase.

Ultimately, it’s probably best if you start tackling the problems in your relationship sooner rather than later. If you don’t, you’re going to have to spend the rest of your life trying figure out how to read this graph.

The post The Graph That Explains All Break-Ups appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1539193322) } [4]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(82) "Wisdom On Love And Dating: Fathers’ Advice That They’ve Shared With Their Kids" ["link"]=> string(114) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/10/wisdom-on-love-and-dating-fathers-advice-that-theyve-shared-with-their-kids/" ["comments"]=> string(122) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/10/wisdom-on-love-and-dating-fathers-advice-that-theyve-shared-with-their-kids/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 10 Oct 2018 11:03:08 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(55) "Dating Adviceadvicedadfatherlifeloverelationshipswisdom" ["guid"]=> string(33) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=987" ["description"]=> string(692) "

Although Father Knows Best, that TV and radio show from the ’50s, is long gone, it was on to something: Fathers are wise guys. Sure, they don’t know everything, but you can always count on two things: They have at least some experience with relationships, and no matter what, they just want what’s best for their […]

The post Wisdom On Love And Dating: Fathers’ Advice That They’ve Shared With Their Kids appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4014) "

Although Father Knows Best, that TV and radio show from the ’50s, is long gone, it was on to something: Fathers are wise guys. Sure, they don’t know everything, but you can always count on two things: They have at least some experience with relationships, and no matter what, they just want what’s best for their children. So we asked dads to share their wisdom on love and dating, giving us their best nuggets of advice that they’ve shared with their kids.

Always sleep without regrets.” — Tim, San Luis Obispo, CA

“I’m a lucky father of six children. It’s my favorite job. I hand out lots of advice, but here’s a lesson that always sticks in my head: When my eldest daughter was 13, she was riding in the backseat of the car and said, ‘Dad, RJ had this magazine in school today that said guys think about sex 1 out of every 3 minutes. Is that true?’ I took a second to collect my thoughts and told her, ‘Yeah, that’s pretty much how it is. So, I’m not saying you have to cut them any slack. It’s just that, if you have that bit of knowledge, you’ll be way better at maybe understanding your guy friends or at least being aware of the challenge and be able to act accordingly.'” — Kevin Gillespie, Ann Arbor, MI

“Be who you are in the relationship. Know your strengths and cater to the strengths of the one you are with. Be confident in who you are and never forget that you are someone special. Love like you want to be loved.” — Derrick Hayes, Columbus, OH

“Be a man with a plan. When you ask a woman out, have a plan of what you’d like to do together. I couldn’t count the number of women who complain about men who ask them out for coffee and then can’t even decide where to go for a cup of coffee. He wants her to decide. He thinks he’s nice and non-controlling, but to the woman, he’s showing he can’t make a decision.” — Elliott Katz, Toronto, Ontario

“My father is no longer with me, but his wonderful words of wisdom on love really helped me sort through the frogs to find my prince at the age of 35. Quite simple: ‘Never want anybody that doesn’t want you.’ I have never forgotten his words, and they helped me end some horrible relationships prematurely and safely.” — Crystal Brown-Tatum, Shreveport, LA

The post Wisdom On Love And Dating: Fathers’ Advice That They’ve Shared With Their Kids appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(119) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/10/wisdom-on-love-and-dating-fathers-advice-that-theyve-shared-with-their-kids/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(692) "

Although Father Knows Best, that TV and radio show from the ’50s, is long gone, it was on to something: Fathers are wise guys. Sure, they don’t know everything, but you can always count on two things: They have at least some experience with relationships, and no matter what, they just want what’s best for their […]

The post Wisdom On Love And Dating: Fathers’ Advice That They’ve Shared With Their Kids appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4014) "

Although Father Knows Best, that TV and radio show from the ’50s, is long gone, it was on to something: Fathers are wise guys. Sure, they don’t know everything, but you can always count on two things: They have at least some experience with relationships, and no matter what, they just want what’s best for their children. So we asked dads to share their wisdom on love and dating, giving us their best nuggets of advice that they’ve shared with their kids.

Always sleep without regrets.” — Tim, San Luis Obispo, CA

“I’m a lucky father of six children. It’s my favorite job. I hand out lots of advice, but here’s a lesson that always sticks in my head: When my eldest daughter was 13, she was riding in the backseat of the car and said, ‘Dad, RJ had this magazine in school today that said guys think about sex 1 out of every 3 minutes. Is that true?’ I took a second to collect my thoughts and told her, ‘Yeah, that’s pretty much how it is. So, I’m not saying you have to cut them any slack. It’s just that, if you have that bit of knowledge, you’ll be way better at maybe understanding your guy friends or at least being aware of the challenge and be able to act accordingly.'” — Kevin Gillespie, Ann Arbor, MI

“Be who you are in the relationship. Know your strengths and cater to the strengths of the one you are with. Be confident in who you are and never forget that you are someone special. Love like you want to be loved.” — Derrick Hayes, Columbus, OH

“Be a man with a plan. When you ask a woman out, have a plan of what you’d like to do together. I couldn’t count the number of women who complain about men who ask them out for coffee and then can’t even decide where to go for a cup of coffee. He wants her to decide. He thinks he’s nice and non-controlling, but to the woman, he’s showing he can’t make a decision.” — Elliott Katz, Toronto, Ontario

“My father is no longer with me, but his wonderful words of wisdom on love really helped me sort through the frogs to find my prince at the age of 35. Quite simple: ‘Never want anybody that doesn’t want you.’ I have never forgotten his words, and they helped me end some horrible relationships prematurely and safely.” — Crystal Brown-Tatum, Shreveport, LA

The post Wisdom On Love And Dating: Fathers’ Advice That They’ve Shared With Their Kids appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1539169388) } [5]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(28) "The Minds Of Women Laid Bare" ["link"]=> string(67) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/09/the-minds-of-women-laid-bare/" ["comments"]=> string(75) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/09/the-minds-of-women-laid-bare/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 09 Oct 2018 17:03:52 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(10) "Andrew Tch" } ["category"]=> string(22) "Love & SexOur Bloggers" ["guid"]=> string(33) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=981" ["description"]=> string(580) "

There are several sites where women can confess your deep, dark, secret thoughts anonymously. Anytime we are wondering what women are thinking these days, we just drop in and read a few confessions. Some are shocking, some funny, some sad, some infuriating, but all are entertaining. Here are a few we liked. Perhaps you can […]

The post The Minds Of Women Laid Bare appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4654) "

There are several sites where women can confess your deep, dark, secret thoughts anonymously. Anytime we are wondering what women are thinking these days, we just drop in and read a few confessions. Some are shocking, some funny, some sad, some infuriating, but all are entertaining.

Here are a few we liked. Perhaps you can relate.

In a perfect world, chocolate cake would also have zero calories, cigarettes would be completely harmless, all men would have really big ones (that vibrate) and you could get all the good TV channels you want.

He calls me ‘dude’. Don’t really know what to take from that.

For the very first time in my life I am throwing caution to the wind. All the little voices in my head can take a vacation because I want to enjoy this man even if it leads to nowhere.

I would go celibate for life before I’d date a man with kids. No thank you.

I’m not going to chase you. I’m an attractive smart woman and have loved you for almost half my life. You know where I am when you’re ready.

I made it without you!!!!

You know what sucks? Having a cute guy make you an adorable cake for your birthday with a letter inside telling you all he wants is to be with you….aaaand you aren’t attracted to him at all.

My relationship is balls to the walls awful.

I don’t think we are dating. But he spent the whole day with me and we had an awesome time checking out the city. I think I have made a really good friend, and sometimes that is better than a date.

I gave a 45 minute blow job tonight. Damn. My mouth hurts.

Ok, I’m tired of this. I tried to be the supportive friend but no more. You break up, get back together, then whine to me about all the problems you have. Problems which are ALWAYS THE SAME. So you know what? Next you break up, don’t bother to say anything. You’ll just be back together in a few days anyway.

And a few favorites from the “Wife” category:

Does everybody have a husband who thinks he’s absolutely hilarious or is just me?

Dear husband, all I ever wanted you to do was show me how much you love me, not just say it. You never show me. That’s ok though. Someone else has been showing me the love and tenderness a woman needs for about two years now. Go back to your fucking XBOX!

I’ve been exercising for couple weeks now. Jokingly I asked hubby if i was skinny yet and he says ‘it doesn’t matter to me, you’re beautiful”

It is so weird, one day I hate you and the next I love you. I can’t make up my mind.

I recently started selling my prescription pills, they are pain killers and I know it’s against the law, but when can get $500 for about 40 pills how can I pass that up so my family can eat. I will put my pain aside for awhile so they willnot go without. I’m a single mom of 5 who was recently laid off and now im between jobs,this is going to have to do for now.

Don’t touch me. I don’t want sex. I may never want it again. I’m sorry.

Sometimes I wonder what I could have done different to make my marriage work, then I remember I did everything I could.

I seriously am considering hiring someone to get all the shit done around here my DH starts & never finishes. Including giving me orgasms.

My husband and I are swingers. Our families have no idea. We are still very active in church and in our kids schools and little league. But deep down I love being a whore for my husband. In the first year when we started, I was with over 50 men and never felt more alive. I wonder if more wives feel this way too.

Did my DH really just take a TV tray into the bathroom? Really?

To the hot teenage boy next door…I’m old enough to be your mom but I would blow you in a hot minute if you asked. Then I would make you rake my yard for free.

He keeps saying he’ll want kids “next year.” It’s been 3 years of this. I’m scared that by the time he’s actually ready, it will be too late.

How about you? Got anything you want to get off your mind? Speak.

The post The Minds Of Women Laid Bare appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(72) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/09/the-minds-of-women-laid-bare/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(580) "

There are several sites where women can confess your deep, dark, secret thoughts anonymously. Anytime we are wondering what women are thinking these days, we just drop in and read a few confessions. Some are shocking, some funny, some sad, some infuriating, but all are entertaining. Here are a few we liked. Perhaps you can […]

The post The Minds Of Women Laid Bare appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4654) "

There are several sites where women can confess your deep, dark, secret thoughts anonymously. Anytime we are wondering what women are thinking these days, we just drop in and read a few confessions. Some are shocking, some funny, some sad, some infuriating, but all are entertaining.

Here are a few we liked. Perhaps you can relate.

In a perfect world, chocolate cake would also have zero calories, cigarettes would be completely harmless, all men would have really big ones (that vibrate) and you could get all the good TV channels you want.

He calls me ‘dude’. Don’t really know what to take from that.

For the very first time in my life I am throwing caution to the wind. All the little voices in my head can take a vacation because I want to enjoy this man even if it leads to nowhere.

I would go celibate for life before I’d date a man with kids. No thank you.

I’m not going to chase you. I’m an attractive smart woman and have loved you for almost half my life. You know where I am when you’re ready.

I made it without you!!!!

You know what sucks? Having a cute guy make you an adorable cake for your birthday with a letter inside telling you all he wants is to be with you….aaaand you aren’t attracted to him at all.

My relationship is balls to the walls awful.

I don’t think we are dating. But he spent the whole day with me and we had an awesome time checking out the city. I think I have made a really good friend, and sometimes that is better than a date.

I gave a 45 minute blow job tonight. Damn. My mouth hurts.

Ok, I’m tired of this. I tried to be the supportive friend but no more. You break up, get back together, then whine to me about all the problems you have. Problems which are ALWAYS THE SAME. So you know what? Next you break up, don’t bother to say anything. You’ll just be back together in a few days anyway.

And a few favorites from the “Wife” category:

Does everybody have a husband who thinks he’s absolutely hilarious or is just me?

Dear husband, all I ever wanted you to do was show me how much you love me, not just say it. You never show me. That’s ok though. Someone else has been showing me the love and tenderness a woman needs for about two years now. Go back to your fucking XBOX!

I’ve been exercising for couple weeks now. Jokingly I asked hubby if i was skinny yet and he says ‘it doesn’t matter to me, you’re beautiful”

It is so weird, one day I hate you and the next I love you. I can’t make up my mind.

I recently started selling my prescription pills, they are pain killers and I know it’s against the law, but when can get $500 for about 40 pills how can I pass that up so my family can eat. I will put my pain aside for awhile so they willnot go without. I’m a single mom of 5 who was recently laid off and now im between jobs,this is going to have to do for now.

Don’t touch me. I don’t want sex. I may never want it again. I’m sorry.

Sometimes I wonder what I could have done different to make my marriage work, then I remember I did everything I could.

I seriously am considering hiring someone to get all the shit done around here my DH starts & never finishes. Including giving me orgasms.

My husband and I are swingers. Our families have no idea. We are still very active in church and in our kids schools and little league. But deep down I love being a whore for my husband. In the first year when we started, I was with over 50 men and never felt more alive. I wonder if more wives feel this way too.

Did my DH really just take a TV tray into the bathroom? Really?

To the hot teenage boy next door…I’m old enough to be your mom but I would blow you in a hot minute if you asked. Then I would make you rake my yard for free.

He keeps saying he’ll want kids “next year.” It’s been 3 years of this. I’m scared that by the time he’s actually ready, it will be too late.

How about you? Got anything you want to get off your mind? Speak.

The post The Minds Of Women Laid Bare appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1539104632) } [6]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(39) "The 4 Best Reminders From Women’s Day" ["link"]=> string(75) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/09/the-4-best-reminders-from-womens-day/" ["comments"]=> string(83) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/09/the-4-best-reminders-from-womens-day/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 09 Oct 2018 11:13:09 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(8) "Holidays" ["guid"]=> string(33) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=977" ["description"]=> string(606) "

As the parades, festivals, and parties indicated, the 8th March is a day to celebrate how much women’s rights have progressed in the last century. But for some, International Women’s Day was also a day to focus on what has not progressed. See below for the most creative ways the world hammered home a sobering message. James […]

The post The 4 Best Reminders From Women’s Day appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(3902) "

As the parades, festivals, and parties indicated, the 8th March is a day to celebrate how much women’s rights have progressed in the last century. But for some, International Women’s Day was also a day to focus on what has not progressed.

See below for the most creative ways the world hammered home a sobering message.

James Bond Cross-dresses for Charity

In a special video released in honor Women’s Day, Dame Judi Dench tells Agent 007 some surprising facts about the world he lives in; for example, women are responsible for 2/3 of the work done around the world, yet earn only 10% of the income.

Halfway through the film, Daniel Craig – Hollywood’s dream hunk—reappears dressed as a woman. His dress and golden locks illustrate that sometimes, a real man may be the one who’s not afraid to see how the other half lives.

Watch the video here.

Caught in a Bad Romance: Women’s Suffrage Style

In a music video parody released by Soomo Publishing, a film crew used one of this generation’s female icons – Lady Gaga – to remind us of last century’s heroes: the women who championed women’s suffrage. In typical Bad-Romance style, we learn that women want to vote.

Check out the full video here. 

The Domestic Violence Graph

One out of four women today are victims of domestic violence. In a recent article, The Economist released a graph exposing the countries in which women believe – or have been conditioned to believe – that domestic violence is okay. In Jordan, 90% of women think it is ok for a husband to hit them.

See the full graph here.

The Worst Places to be a Woman

In honor of Women’s Day, The Independent released a comprehensive report on the best and worst places to be a woman. A couple key stats:

  1. The #1 worst place is Yemen, followed closely by Afghanistan. In Yemen, woman account for 2% of high-skilled jobs.
  2. In Ethiopia, only 18% of women can read and write.
  3. In Saudi Arabia, women only earn on average $7,157 a year. Men earn $36,727.

On the brighter side, there are some countries in which women are surprisingly powerful. For the last 23 years, women have run the government of Sri Lanka. Thailand has the greatest percentage of women in senior management positions. In Qatar, three times as many women as men pursue tertiary education.

***

Is there a silver lining to all of this?

Certainly, in the last few centuries, the general advancement of women has been remarkable. However, International Women’s Day serves as a reminder that much progress is yet to be made. Is overcoming gender inequality simply a question of increasing awareness, as the Kony campaign has attempted?

We’ve leave you with Margaret Sanger’s parting words:

Woman must not accept; she must challenge. She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression.”

 

The post The 4 Best Reminders From Women’s Day appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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As the parades, festivals, and parties indicated, the 8th March is a day to celebrate how much women’s rights have progressed in the last century. But for some, International Women’s Day was also a day to focus on what has not progressed. See below for the most creative ways the world hammered home a sobering message. James […]

The post The 4 Best Reminders From Women’s Day appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3902) "

As the parades, festivals, and parties indicated, the 8th March is a day to celebrate how much women’s rights have progressed in the last century. But for some, International Women’s Day was also a day to focus on what has not progressed.

See below for the most creative ways the world hammered home a sobering message.

James Bond Cross-dresses for Charity

In a special video released in honor Women’s Day, Dame Judi Dench tells Agent 007 some surprising facts about the world he lives in; for example, women are responsible for 2/3 of the work done around the world, yet earn only 10% of the income.

Halfway through the film, Daniel Craig – Hollywood’s dream hunk—reappears dressed as a woman. His dress and golden locks illustrate that sometimes, a real man may be the one who’s not afraid to see how the other half lives.

Watch the video here.

Caught in a Bad Romance: Women’s Suffrage Style

In a music video parody released by Soomo Publishing, a film crew used one of this generation’s female icons – Lady Gaga – to remind us of last century’s heroes: the women who championed women’s suffrage. In typical Bad-Romance style, we learn that women want to vote.

Check out the full video here. 

The Domestic Violence Graph

One out of four women today are victims of domestic violence. In a recent article, The Economist released a graph exposing the countries in which women believe – or have been conditioned to believe – that domestic violence is okay. In Jordan, 90% of women think it is ok for a husband to hit them.

See the full graph here.

The Worst Places to be a Woman

In honor of Women’s Day, The Independent released a comprehensive report on the best and worst places to be a woman. A couple key stats:

  1. The #1 worst place is Yemen, followed closely by Afghanistan. In Yemen, woman account for 2% of high-skilled jobs.
  2. In Ethiopia, only 18% of women can read and write.
  3. In Saudi Arabia, women only earn on average $7,157 a year. Men earn $36,727.

On the brighter side, there are some countries in which women are surprisingly powerful. For the last 23 years, women have run the government of Sri Lanka. Thailand has the greatest percentage of women in senior management positions. In Qatar, three times as many women as men pursue tertiary education.

***

Is there a silver lining to all of this?

Certainly, in the last few centuries, the general advancement of women has been remarkable. However, International Women’s Day serves as a reminder that much progress is yet to be made. Is overcoming gender inequality simply a question of increasing awareness, as the Kony campaign has attempted?

We’ve leave you with Margaret Sanger’s parting words:

Woman must not accept; she must challenge. She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression.”

 

The post The 4 Best Reminders From Women’s Day appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1539083589) } [7]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(38) "The Love Olympics: How To Get the Gold" ["link"]=> string(76) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/09/the-love-olympics-how-to-get-the-gold/" ["comments"]=> string(84) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/09/the-love-olympics-how-to-get-the-gold/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 09 Oct 2018 10:28:26 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(26) "Love & Sexlovestudiesstudy" ["guid"]=> string(33) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=970" ["description"]=> string(605) "

As the upcoming Olympic games 2020 in Tokyo go to show, we’ve created a competition for just about everything. Well – almost everything. Who wins at love? A group of Stanford neuroscientists set out to answer that question, designing a study to see whether some people can love harder than others. Welcome to the First Annual […]

The post The Love Olympics: How To Get the Gold appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4076) "

As the upcoming Olympic games 2020 in Tokyo go to show, we’ve created a competition for just about everything. Well – almost everything. Who wins at love?

A group of Stanford neuroscientists set out to answer that question, designing a study to see whether some people can love harder than others. Welcome to the First Annual Love Competition.

The Brain In Love

Researchers asked seven brave volunteers to climb inside a fMRI machine. Their instructions were simple: try to love someone as hard as you can.

Participants ranged in age and experience, from the couple who had been married for fifty years (after a three-day courtship), to the ten year-old in awe of his new baby cousin, to the heartbroken Romeo who was seeking to move on from his last relationship.

Even though being in love requires 12 different areas of the brain to work together, this fMRI measured the activity level in the nucleus accumbens. Whoever’s brain demonstrated the most activity was declared the winner.

While the study did prove that some people loved harder than others, the most surprising results were what happened to the participants afterwards: all emerged saying they had experienced something profound and transformative. Their reaction had nothing to do with being inside an MRI, and everything to do with reflecting on love for an uninterrupted period of time.

One 24 year-old New York native, who claimed to never have been in love prior to the study, emerged from the fMRI feeling elated: “I felt this surge of warmth and happiness and excitement, it just sort of exploded out of me.” Had she simply found love in places she didn’t expect, or had she managed to tap into the fundamental experience of love – just in the absence of another person?

Certainly, other participants also emerged with a better sense of love’s “big picture.” One participant found himself reflecting on all of the different kinds of love. “It was profound,” he said. “I started thinking of all the ways I love…Feeling protective of children who were never born; being appreciated by others and honored by what I do.”

It is somewhat surprising that participants did not mention passionate love in their reflections, since romantic love can often feel the most intense and immediate. But the winner of the study – the participant who loved the deepest – was the man who had been married for fifty years. After the study, he summed up his experience of true love:

“The feeling was more of sweetness, and how much fun it was. We’ve been blessed with a really lovely fifty-year relationship. There wasn’t any drama or any big tragedies. So, it was more a feeling of ‘Wow, that’s been a good trip.’”

Gold Medal?

What do the participants’ reactions suggest? If you want to love more deeply than anyone else, your best bet is to feel gratitude, trust, and a sense of perspective. The fact that we can experience such intense emotion while trapped inside a machine suggests that love may in fact exist outside of ourselves – as a universal experience waiting to be tapped into.

And if five minutes is all the reflection required to be inspired, it may be worth our time. After all, according to Tolstoy, love expands the mind:

All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.”

Watch the video to find out who came in second place! It may surprise you.

The post The Love Olympics: How To Get the Gold appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(81) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/09/the-love-olympics-how-to-get-the-gold/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(605) "

As the upcoming Olympic games 2020 in Tokyo go to show, we’ve created a competition for just about everything. Well – almost everything. Who wins at love? A group of Stanford neuroscientists set out to answer that question, designing a study to see whether some people can love harder than others. Welcome to the First Annual […]

The post The Love Olympics: How To Get the Gold appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4076) "

As the upcoming Olympic games 2020 in Tokyo go to show, we’ve created a competition for just about everything. Well – almost everything. Who wins at love?

A group of Stanford neuroscientists set out to answer that question, designing a study to see whether some people can love harder than others. Welcome to the First Annual Love Competition.

The Brain In Love

Researchers asked seven brave volunteers to climb inside a fMRI machine. Their instructions were simple: try to love someone as hard as you can.

Participants ranged in age and experience, from the couple who had been married for fifty years (after a three-day courtship), to the ten year-old in awe of his new baby cousin, to the heartbroken Romeo who was seeking to move on from his last relationship.

Even though being in love requires 12 different areas of the brain to work together, this fMRI measured the activity level in the nucleus accumbens. Whoever’s brain demonstrated the most activity was declared the winner.

While the study did prove that some people loved harder than others, the most surprising results were what happened to the participants afterwards: all emerged saying they had experienced something profound and transformative. Their reaction had nothing to do with being inside an MRI, and everything to do with reflecting on love for an uninterrupted period of time.

One 24 year-old New York native, who claimed to never have been in love prior to the study, emerged from the fMRI feeling elated: “I felt this surge of warmth and happiness and excitement, it just sort of exploded out of me.” Had she simply found love in places she didn’t expect, or had she managed to tap into the fundamental experience of love – just in the absence of another person?

Certainly, other participants also emerged with a better sense of love’s “big picture.” One participant found himself reflecting on all of the different kinds of love. “It was profound,” he said. “I started thinking of all the ways I love…Feeling protective of children who were never born; being appreciated by others and honored by what I do.”

It is somewhat surprising that participants did not mention passionate love in their reflections, since romantic love can often feel the most intense and immediate. But the winner of the study – the participant who loved the deepest – was the man who had been married for fifty years. After the study, he summed up his experience of true love:

“The feeling was more of sweetness, and how much fun it was. We’ve been blessed with a really lovely fifty-year relationship. There wasn’t any drama or any big tragedies. So, it was more a feeling of ‘Wow, that’s been a good trip.’”

Gold Medal?

What do the participants’ reactions suggest? If you want to love more deeply than anyone else, your best bet is to feel gratitude, trust, and a sense of perspective. The fact that we can experience such intense emotion while trapped inside a machine suggests that love may in fact exist outside of ourselves – as a universal experience waiting to be tapped into.

And if five minutes is all the reflection required to be inspired, it may be worth our time. After all, according to Tolstoy, love expands the mind:

All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.”

Watch the video to find out who came in second place! It may surprise you.

The post The Love Olympics: How To Get the Gold appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1539080906) } [8]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(34) "Pablo Picasso: Master of Seduction" ["link"]=> string(72) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/08/pablo-picasso-master-of-seduction/" ["comments"]=> string(80) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/08/pablo-picasso-master-of-seduction/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 08 Oct 2018 13:30:17 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(43) "Love & SexhistoryPablo Picassorelationships" ["guid"]=> string(33) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=958" ["description"]=> string(636) "

“Women are machines for suffering.” -Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Two women left mentally unstable, two dead by suicide, others scarred for life. It’s an unsettling romantic track record for anyone – let alone one of the world’s most impactful artists. Pablo Picasso, heralded for his contributions to cubism and surrealism, was the unsung king of womanism. The […]

The post Pablo Picasso: Master of Seduction appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(9807) "

“Women are machines for suffering.” -Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

Two women left mentally unstable, two dead by suicide, others scarred for life. It’s an unsettling romantic track record for anyone – let alone one of the world’s most impactful artists.

Pablo Picasso, heralded for his contributions to cubism and surrealism, was the unsung king of womanism. The man was seducing young women well into his 80s, all while producing some of the most influential artwork of the 20th century.

Apart from satisfying anyone’s appetite for sordid gossip, Picasso’s wildly energetic love life also sheds light on his transformations as an artist. His lovers had a remarkable influence over his work. Remember what he himself said: “I paint the way some people write their autobiography.”

His First Love

(1904-1913)

It was 1904, in the midst of Europe’s “Belle Epoque.“ One stormy night, Fernande Olivier, a Bohemian artist, was on her way home. She met 23 year-old Picasso, who blocked her path. She stopped. He held out a kitten. The rest was history.

Both Picasso and Fernande were stormy lovers. In bouts of jealousy, Picasso often locked her up when he left the house. Despite being a Picasso-imposed recluse, when the purse strings grew tight, she was a good sport when he asked her to pawn her jewels. In the end, she was unfaithful to him, and to punish her, Picasso left her for her friend, Eva Gouel, (who then left him heartbroken when she died of tuberculosis in 1915.)

If you enjoyed Les Demoiselles d’Avignonyou have Fernande to thank. In addition to inspiring this famous work, Fernande was also the model for more than 60 portraits. She even played a role in Picasso’s transition from his Blue Period  (1901-4) to his Rose Period (1904-6). During their relationship, he shifted from monochromatic, somber colors to cheerful orange and pink.

The First Wife

(1917-1935)

Olga Khokhlova was Picasso’s first wife, a Ukranian ballet dancer who didn’t share Picasso’s overwhelming love for his art. He waited 5 years before cheating on her with a 17 year-old.

During his relationship with Olga, Picasso’s depictions of women grew increasingly unflattering. For a glimpse of Picasso’s increasing hostility toward his wife, take a look at Three Dancers (1925). Note how the woman in the center appears to be undergoing crucifixion.

Likewise, Woman’s Head with Self-Portrait is a glimpse into Picasso’s own psyche and growing dissatisfaction with the constraints of matrimony. The “woman” flaunts a set of grotesque teeth and a wide, snapping mouth.

Did Olga take the hint? The two never divorced—Picasso was loath to relinquish half of his artwork to his wife, as would be mandated by law. But Picasso took a healthy dose of other lovers. Until her death in 1955, Olga kept herself busy: she stalked Picasso and his mistresses, wrote him hate mail, and went mad.

The Minor

(1927-1936)

“I had gone shopping to the Galeries Lafayette and Picasso saw me coming out of the Métro. He simply grabbed me by the arm and said, ‘’I’m Picasso! You and I are going to do great things together!’”

-Marie-Therese Walter

She was 17; he was a married 47 year-old. She was his greatest muse; he was the love of her life. On the back of one of Picasso’s poems, she wrote, “I love you and give you everything I have.”

Even though she was his intellectual inferior, Marie-Therese Walter provided Picasso some of the inspiration for works such as Vollard SuiteBut hers was yet another tragic ending for Picasso’s spurned women; four years after Picasso’s death, she hanged herself in her garage.

The Mistress

(1936-1944)

While married to Olga and having an affair (and child) with Marie-Therese, Picasso found a new love interest. Dora Maar, a French photographer and painter, appears in Picasso’s famous Guernica.

The two met in a Parisian café. Picasso was impressed when Dora spread her fingers out on a table and quickly stabbed a knife in between the spaces in rapid succession. Unlike the movies, it didn’t go exactly as planned. She wounded herself and began bleeding. Picasso, ever the romantic, saved her bloodstained gloves for years.

Don’t think that Picasso’s wife, Olga, was happy with the affair. She often followed Picasso and Maar around. (Marie-Therese wasn’t thrilled, either.) Picasso, though, grew inspired by his jealous lovers, and used them as artistic playthings. He would paint Dora and Marie-Therese on the same couch—sometimes wearing each other’s clothes. Genius, or deranged?

Poor Dora didn’t fare well after Picasso lost interest, and she, too, suffered mental illness. Picasso didn’t help matters; instead, he flaunted his newest mistress in front of her—a 21-year old law student named Françoise Gilot. He asked Dora, “I’ve really discovered somebody, haven’t I?”

After the ill-fated relationship, Dora underwent intense psychoanalysis. She had this to say about her future life: “After Picasso, only God.”

The Fighter

(1944-1953)

“There’s nothing so similar to one poodle dog as another poodle dog, and that goes for women, too.”

– Picasso, to Francoise

There’s a reason Hollywood made the movie about this lover – Francoise Gilot was the only one of Picasso’s women who spurned him. Strong-willed and unafraid, she wrote a best-selling book, Life with Picasso, in which she described him as “self-satisfied, indifferent to others, too convinced of his own worth” and “without indulgence to his family and entourage.”

Watch the relationship unfold in the 1996 film, appropriately titled, Suiving Picasso (1996).

 

 

The Devoted

(1953-1973)

Jacqueline Roque“Madame X,” as Picasso called Jacqueline Roque, was a married twenty-seven year-old when the two met. Though he was forty-five years older, he wooed her in style, drawing a giant dove in chalk on the wall of her home. The two remained together for twenty years, until Picasso’s death. He made 400 portraits of her.

Jacqueline devoted herself to her husband, body and soul, regardless of the personal coast. When Picasso was buried, she slept on the snow over his grave. Years after Picasso’s death, she shot herself.

***

You’ve got to wonder: when did the man have time to paint?

We may never know why Picasso held such a dangerous allure for women. Physical lust is probably not the answer, unless Picasso was a foxy 80 year-old. Nor can his art alone be said to account for his magnetism—no one can have a real relationship with a canvas.

Perhaps the allure was simply the promise of something Picasso himself longed to achieve: immortality. Being the muse of a great artist meant being a part of the greatness he inspired. Many of Picasso’s most famous works scream Olga, Marie-Therese, Francoise. If the endurance of his art was in part a tribute to woman behind it, who wouldn’t be flattered?

Picasso himself may have summarized the matter best when he said, “Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.” If we take this to be true, perhaps his greatest works, which have been lauded by the world of modern art, pale in comparison to what he felt for his real subjects. While Picasso’s women may have been mistreated and scorned, their relationships with him became “everlasting” by virtue of their enduring legacy in art.

The post Pablo Picasso: Master of Seduction appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(77) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/08/pablo-picasso-master-of-seduction/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(636) "

“Women are machines for suffering.” -Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Two women left mentally unstable, two dead by suicide, others scarred for life. It’s an unsettling romantic track record for anyone – let alone one of the world’s most impactful artists. Pablo Picasso, heralded for his contributions to cubism and surrealism, was the unsung king of womanism. The […]

The post Pablo Picasso: Master of Seduction appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(9807) "

“Women are machines for suffering.” -Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

Two women left mentally unstable, two dead by suicide, others scarred for life. It’s an unsettling romantic track record for anyone – let alone one of the world’s most impactful artists.

Pablo Picasso, heralded for his contributions to cubism and surrealism, was the unsung king of womanism. The man was seducing young women well into his 80s, all while producing some of the most influential artwork of the 20th century.

Apart from satisfying anyone’s appetite for sordid gossip, Picasso’s wildly energetic love life also sheds light on his transformations as an artist. His lovers had a remarkable influence over his work. Remember what he himself said: “I paint the way some people write their autobiography.”

His First Love

(1904-1913)

It was 1904, in the midst of Europe’s “Belle Epoque.“ One stormy night, Fernande Olivier, a Bohemian artist, was on her way home. She met 23 year-old Picasso, who blocked her path. She stopped. He held out a kitten. The rest was history.

Both Picasso and Fernande were stormy lovers. In bouts of jealousy, Picasso often locked her up when he left the house. Despite being a Picasso-imposed recluse, when the purse strings grew tight, she was a good sport when he asked her to pawn her jewels. In the end, she was unfaithful to him, and to punish her, Picasso left her for her friend, Eva Gouel, (who then left him heartbroken when she died of tuberculosis in 1915.)

If you enjoyed Les Demoiselles d’Avignonyou have Fernande to thank. In addition to inspiring this famous work, Fernande was also the model for more than 60 portraits. She even played a role in Picasso’s transition from his Blue Period  (1901-4) to his Rose Period (1904-6). During their relationship, he shifted from monochromatic, somber colors to cheerful orange and pink.

The First Wife

(1917-1935)

Olga Khokhlova was Picasso’s first wife, a Ukranian ballet dancer who didn’t share Picasso’s overwhelming love for his art. He waited 5 years before cheating on her with a 17 year-old.

During his relationship with Olga, Picasso’s depictions of women grew increasingly unflattering. For a glimpse of Picasso’s increasing hostility toward his wife, take a look at Three Dancers (1925). Note how the woman in the center appears to be undergoing crucifixion.

Likewise, Woman’s Head with Self-Portrait is a glimpse into Picasso’s own psyche and growing dissatisfaction with the constraints of matrimony. The “woman” flaunts a set of grotesque teeth and a wide, snapping mouth.

Did Olga take the hint? The two never divorced—Picasso was loath to relinquish half of his artwork to his wife, as would be mandated by law. But Picasso took a healthy dose of other lovers. Until her death in 1955, Olga kept herself busy: she stalked Picasso and his mistresses, wrote him hate mail, and went mad.

The Minor

(1927-1936)

“I had gone shopping to the Galeries Lafayette and Picasso saw me coming out of the Métro. He simply grabbed me by the arm and said, ‘’I’m Picasso! You and I are going to do great things together!’”

-Marie-Therese Walter

She was 17; he was a married 47 year-old. She was his greatest muse; he was the love of her life. On the back of one of Picasso’s poems, she wrote, “I love you and give you everything I have.”

Even though she was his intellectual inferior, Marie-Therese Walter provided Picasso some of the inspiration for works such as Vollard SuiteBut hers was yet another tragic ending for Picasso’s spurned women; four years after Picasso’s death, she hanged herself in her garage.

The Mistress

(1936-1944)

While married to Olga and having an affair (and child) with Marie-Therese, Picasso found a new love interest. Dora Maar, a French photographer and painter, appears in Picasso’s famous Guernica.

The two met in a Parisian café. Picasso was impressed when Dora spread her fingers out on a table and quickly stabbed a knife in between the spaces in rapid succession. Unlike the movies, it didn’t go exactly as planned. She wounded herself and began bleeding. Picasso, ever the romantic, saved her bloodstained gloves for years.

Don’t think that Picasso’s wife, Olga, was happy with the affair. She often followed Picasso and Maar around. (Marie-Therese wasn’t thrilled, either.) Picasso, though, grew inspired by his jealous lovers, and used them as artistic playthings. He would paint Dora and Marie-Therese on the same couch—sometimes wearing each other’s clothes. Genius, or deranged?

Poor Dora didn’t fare well after Picasso lost interest, and she, too, suffered mental illness. Picasso didn’t help matters; instead, he flaunted his newest mistress in front of her—a 21-year old law student named Françoise Gilot. He asked Dora, “I’ve really discovered somebody, haven’t I?”

After the ill-fated relationship, Dora underwent intense psychoanalysis. She had this to say about her future life: “After Picasso, only God.”

The Fighter

(1944-1953)

“There’s nothing so similar to one poodle dog as another poodle dog, and that goes for women, too.”

– Picasso, to Francoise

There’s a reason Hollywood made the movie about this lover – Francoise Gilot was the only one of Picasso’s women who spurned him. Strong-willed and unafraid, she wrote a best-selling book, Life with Picasso, in which she described him as “self-satisfied, indifferent to others, too convinced of his own worth” and “without indulgence to his family and entourage.”

Watch the relationship unfold in the 1996 film, appropriately titled, Suiving Picasso (1996).

 

 

The Devoted

(1953-1973)

Jacqueline Roque“Madame X,” as Picasso called Jacqueline Roque, was a married twenty-seven year-old when the two met. Though he was forty-five years older, he wooed her in style, drawing a giant dove in chalk on the wall of her home. The two remained together for twenty years, until Picasso’s death. He made 400 portraits of her.

Jacqueline devoted herself to her husband, body and soul, regardless of the personal coast. When Picasso was buried, she slept on the snow over his grave. Years after Picasso’s death, she shot herself.

***

You’ve got to wonder: when did the man have time to paint?

We may never know why Picasso held such a dangerous allure for women. Physical lust is probably not the answer, unless Picasso was a foxy 80 year-old. Nor can his art alone be said to account for his magnetism—no one can have a real relationship with a canvas.

Perhaps the allure was simply the promise of something Picasso himself longed to achieve: immortality. Being the muse of a great artist meant being a part of the greatness he inspired. Many of Picasso’s most famous works scream Olga, Marie-Therese, Francoise. If the endurance of his art was in part a tribute to woman behind it, who wouldn’t be flattered?

Picasso himself may have summarized the matter best when he said, “Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.” If we take this to be true, perhaps his greatest works, which have been lauded by the world of modern art, pale in comparison to what he felt for his real subjects. While Picasso’s women may have been mistreated and scorned, their relationships with him became “everlasting” by virtue of their enduring legacy in art.

The post Pablo Picasso: Master of Seduction appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1539005417) } [9]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(73) "Getting Back In The Dating Game: Q&A For Single Parents And After Divorce" ["link"]=> string(110) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/05/getting-back-in-the-dating-game-qa-for-single-parents-and-after-divorce/" ["comments"]=> string(118) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/05/getting-back-in-the-dating-game-qa-for-single-parents-and-after-divorce/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 05 Oct 2018 13:55:39 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(5) "admin" } ["category"]=> string(54) "Q&Aadviceafter divorcedatingparentsrelationshipssingle" ["guid"]=> string(33) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=952" ["description"]=> string(651) "

Baggage check I am a single mother of two young children. It seems that I can’t find a date to save my life. I’m attractive and intelligent and have plenty to offer a man. In general, do single parents have problems finding someone to accept them with baggage or is it harder for one gender […]

The post Getting Back In The Dating Game: Q&A For Single Parents And After Divorce appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(9819) "

Baggage check

I am a single mother of two young children. It seems that I can’t find a date to save my life. I’m attractive and intelligent and have plenty to offer a man. In general, do single parents have problems finding someone to accept them with baggage or is it harder for one gender over another?   — Frustrated, Penn Valley, Calif.

The problem with most single parents is finding the time, energy, and opportunity to meet enough prospective single men or women to find one of interest. I don’t believe the problem with baggage is the issue of having it — because most people, even without kids, have baggage. The problem is how you perceive your life. If you turn it around and see your children as a gift that any man would be lucky to experience, then right off the bat you’ve shifted your perspective, which can have a great impact on the way men will respond to you.

I do find that women have a harder time having the energy and setting aside the time for the work required in dating. If you set the expectation of wanting a relationship then you have to go after it like you would a new job or any other goal. You have to make contacts, let friends know you’re on the dating path, and be open to meeting many new people before finding one you’d like to see again.

Here are a few fun rules to follow regarding baggage!

Li’l Miss Behave

I’m going to meet a guy from Yahoo! Personals. He seems like my type, but guys don’t like me very well because of my five-year-old daughter. She has not seen her father for five years. Every time I have a relationship, she is always misbehaving. It’s so bad, that they tell me good-bye. I’ve tried everything. I give all the attention in the world. What else can I do?  — Discouraged, Wheaton, Mo.

Dear Discouraged:
It would be best if your dates do not meet your daughter until you know the relationship has the potential to be serious. Dating is a time for you to figure out what you want, what you like, and what you need. Focus on yourself and your date; talk about your lives — what you like to do, what you’re passionate about, and the goals you have. Don’t spend much time talking about your daughter or your parenting challenges because they won’t matter unless you’re in a long-term relationship with the man. When you do talk about your daughter, tell him the little things about her that delight you — not the issues that would scare off the bravest of souls. Start to view dating as the time you’ll spend away from your daughter nurturing yourself — then get a few friends on board who like to baby-sit.

If you wait until the relationship is established, the man you’re dating will have more incentive to take all the steps necessary to get the relationship with your daughter off to a great start.

Secret kids?

How should dating be handled when you have children? I am a single mom. When should you mention that you have kids and at what point should they be involved in the relationship?  — Mom’s the Word, Midland, Texas

Dear Mom’s
Having children is a big part of who you are, so you need to mention that fact up front. You don’t want to waste time being anyone but yourself, because sooner or later the real you with a real life will have to show up. It’s better to tell the whole truth, so you don’t fall for a guy who wants a different life and then have to go through healing from a broken heart. The most important thing you can do for yourself is to feel confident managing your life and your kids on your own. This may take a lot of work, but it means you won’t be dating out of a need to have some man come into your life and rescue you. It also puts you in the position of getting to choose the man that’s right for you whenever you’re ready. What scares men off is the fear that they’re going to have to step in to care for and support the children as well as you.

Don’t introduce your kids to a date until the relationship is serious. There is no need for the kids to like him or for him to like them if you don’t like each other! When you do introduce them plan some event the kids really enjoy doing — like going to the beach, zoo, or a movie. Let the kids totally be themselves, don’t get tense and try to impress your date or prove your kids are well behaved and lovely all the time. Have a sense of humor!

Not leading them on

I have been separated for four months. I would prefer to reconcile, but my husband is moving on with a divorce and dating. I need to do the same. How can I meet men on Yahoo! Personals for a beginning friendship, leading towards the possibility of a future relationship without the men feeling that I am playing games or leading them on. Most men I have found thus far are ready to date exclusively and move faster than I feel is fair given my present situation at this time.   — Hesitant, Southampton, N.Y.

Dear Hesitant:
The best policy is always to be totally honest about what you’re looking for when you fill out your profile. There may be many men who feel just as you do and you may have a better chance of finding a man interested in friendship if he’s recently out of a relationship as well. There is definitely something positive to be said for dating someone who is in a similar stage. If you’re still hurting, you are going to need to do some healing and grieving work before being able to be fully present in a relationship. That would go for both of you, so the friendship would naturally progress slowly into a relationship as time goes by. As far as men feeling you’ve been playing games or that they’ve been lead on by you — if you tell the truth — it is then up to them what they want to do with it.

Trust anew?

I have been married and divorced twice and am very nervous about opening up to someone again. I was cheated on, so trust is very important to me. Can you tell me what a good way to discuss those issues without seeming like a drill sergeant?  — Skittish, St. Peter, Minn.

Dear Skittish:
Take every opportunity when it comes up to share your experiences regarding relationships in the past where you were hurt. Focus on how you felt, instead of using your energy or time to talk about the jerk who cheated on you. You won’t come off as a drill sergeant if your story evolves as the relationship evolves. It wouldn’t be appropriate on the first or even fifth date to say, “From this day forward you have to call me every day, or report where you are going to be, because in the past my husband cheated on me.” Instead, as the relationship grows the man you’re dating is going to know exactly what happened and how you felt because you have shared with him those experiences and his compassion for the situation will grow.

All of the above depends on you choosing a man who is different from the two you’ve had in the past. So it’s also important for you to write down a description of character traits you’re going to need from the man in your life. If you find the man you’re falling for doesn’t have at least half of what’s written on that list, then it may be a case of dating for fun but not for the long-term.

 

The post Getting Back In The Dating Game: Q&A For Single Parents And After Divorce appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Baggage check I am a single mother of two young children. It seems that I can’t find a date to save my life. I’m attractive and intelligent and have plenty to offer a man. In general, do single parents have problems finding someone to accept them with baggage or is it harder for one gender […]

The post Getting Back In The Dating Game: Q&A For Single Parents And After Divorce appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Baggage check

I am a single mother of two young children. It seems that I can’t find a date to save my life. I’m attractive and intelligent and have plenty to offer a man. In general, do single parents have problems finding someone to accept them with baggage or is it harder for one gender over another?   — Frustrated, Penn Valley, Calif.

The problem with most single parents is finding the time, energy, and opportunity to meet enough prospective single men or women to find one of interest. I don’t believe the problem with baggage is the issue of having it — because most people, even without kids, have baggage. The problem is how you perceive your life. If you turn it around and see your children as a gift that any man would be lucky to experience, then right off the bat you’ve shifted your perspective, which can have a great impact on the way men will respond to you.

I do find that women have a harder time having the energy and setting aside the time for the work required in dating. If you set the expectation of wanting a relationship then you have to go after it like you would a new job or any other goal. You have to make contacts, let friends know you’re on the dating path, and be open to meeting many new people before finding one you’d like to see again.

Here are a few fun rules to follow regarding baggage!

Li’l Miss Behave

I’m going to meet a guy from Yahoo! Personals. He seems like my type, but guys don’t like me very well because of my five-year-old daughter. She has not seen her father for five years. Every time I have a relationship, she is always misbehaving. It’s so bad, that they tell me good-bye. I’ve tried everything. I give all the attention in the world. What else can I do?  — Discouraged, Wheaton, Mo.

Dear Discouraged:
It would be best if your dates do not meet your daughter until you know the relationship has the potential to be serious. Dating is a time for you to figure out what you want, what you like, and what you need. Focus on yourself and your date; talk about your lives — what you like to do, what you’re passionate about, and the goals you have. Don’t spend much time talking about your daughter or your parenting challenges because they won’t matter unless you’re in a long-term relationship with the man. When you do talk about your daughter, tell him the little things about her that delight you — not the issues that would scare off the bravest of souls. Start to view dating as the time you’ll spend away from your daughter nurturing yourself — then get a few friends on board who like to baby-sit.

If you wait until the relationship is established, the man you’re dating will have more incentive to take all the steps necessary to get the relationship with your daughter off to a great start.

Secret kids?

How should dating be handled when you have children? I am a single mom. When should you mention that you have kids and at what point should they be involved in the relationship?  — Mom’s the Word, Midland, Texas

Dear Mom’s
Having children is a big part of who you are, so you need to mention that fact up front. You don’t want to waste time being anyone but yourself, because sooner or later the real you with a real life will have to show up. It’s better to tell the whole truth, so you don’t fall for a guy who wants a different life and then have to go through healing from a broken heart. The most important thing you can do for yourself is to feel confident managing your life and your kids on your own. This may take a lot of work, but it means you won’t be dating out of a need to have some man come into your life and rescue you. It also puts you in the position of getting to choose the man that’s right for you whenever you’re ready. What scares men off is the fear that they’re going to have to step in to care for and support the children as well as you.

Don’t introduce your kids to a date until the relationship is serious. There is no need for the kids to like him or for him to like them if you don’t like each other! When you do introduce them plan some event the kids really enjoy doing — like going to the beach, zoo, or a movie. Let the kids totally be themselves, don’t get tense and try to impress your date or prove your kids are well behaved and lovely all the time. Have a sense of humor!

Not leading them on

I have been separated for four months. I would prefer to reconcile, but my husband is moving on with a divorce and dating. I need to do the same. How can I meet men on Yahoo! Personals for a beginning friendship, leading towards the possibility of a future relationship without the men feeling that I am playing games or leading them on. Most men I have found thus far are ready to date exclusively and move faster than I feel is fair given my present situation at this time.   — Hesitant, Southampton, N.Y.

Dear Hesitant:
The best policy is always to be totally honest about what you’re looking for when you fill out your profile. There may be many men who feel just as you do and you may have a better chance of finding a man interested in friendship if he’s recently out of a relationship as well. There is definitely something positive to be said for dating someone who is in a similar stage. If you’re still hurting, you are going to need to do some healing and grieving work before being able to be fully present in a relationship. That would go for both of you, so the friendship would naturally progress slowly into a relationship as time goes by. As far as men feeling you’ve been playing games or that they’ve been lead on by you — if you tell the truth — it is then up to them what they want to do with it.

Trust anew?

I have been married and divorced twice and am very nervous about opening up to someone again. I was cheated on, so trust is very important to me. Can you tell me what a good way to discuss those issues without seeming like a drill sergeant?  — Skittish, St. Peter, Minn.

Dear Skittish:
Take every opportunity when it comes up to share your experiences regarding relationships in the past where you were hurt. Focus on how you felt, instead of using your energy or time to talk about the jerk who cheated on you. You won’t come off as a drill sergeant if your story evolves as the relationship evolves. It wouldn’t be appropriate on the first or even fifth date to say, “From this day forward you have to call me every day, or report where you are going to be, because in the past my husband cheated on me.” Instead, as the relationship grows the man you’re dating is going to know exactly what happened and how you felt because you have shared with him those experiences and his compassion for the situation will grow.

All of the above depends on you choosing a man who is different from the two you’ve had in the past. So it’s also important for you to write down a description of character traits you’re going to need from the man in your life. If you find the man you’re falling for doesn’t have at least half of what’s written on that list, then it may be a case of dating for fun but not for the long-term.

 

The post Getting Back In The Dating Game: Q&A For Single Parents And After Divorce appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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