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Channel: Emili Jane

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    array(10) {
      ["guid"]=>
      string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-2216650166630131617"
      ["pubdate"]=>
      string(31) "Fri, 22 Jan 2021 15:45:00 +0000"
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      ["title"]=>
      string(30) "Breaking out of being a Hermit"
      ["description"]=>
      string(7898) "

It is Saturday night, and I am blogging in the lobby of a hotel instead of hanging out in New York City with people my age. I have chosen my computer over people several times in the last few months, and from the stream of Facebook updates I see on my page at 11 pm on a Saturday, lots of my friends are at home right now as well. When does liking to be at home alone turn from rest and relaxation to hermit status?

You are a hermit if…

  1. You want to go out butyou get anxious at the thought of getting dressed up and having to hang out with people you do or don’t know.
  2. You are not doing something you truly enjoywhile staying home. You’re piddling around on the internet, watching television half-interestedly, or having a monotonous conversation on the phone with a fellow hermit.
  3. You hope that someone will call youwith something to do, but you refuse to call someone up proactively and make plans.

I am a self-proclaimed hermit in recovery. Despite my loudness and big personality, I am quite a homebody. I love to order take-out, pop some popcorn, and watch movies in bed (preferably with a handsome man). I love to wander aimlessly on the internet and read random articles. However, there has to be a limit to my hermitage.

Being a hermit is no good, because:

  1. You can lose perspective.Spending time alone is an important part of being comfortable with yourself, but if you spend it ruminating over things that aren’t going well in your life, you can start giving more importance to the negative things going on in your life than they deserve.
  2. You lose touch with your friends. A huge part of friendship is actually spending time together, seeing one another be vulnerable, and helping one another through difficult times. If you are feeling sad or lonely, reach out to a friend and say so. Everyone gets lonely, and you shouldn’t compound the situation by isolating yourself. Your friends love you and they want to be there for you! Let them. By reaching out to your friends, you’ll help build up your relationshipsand solve the loneliness problem.
  3. It perpetuates the situation.The less you go out and the more you stay in, the less accustomed you get to investing time and energy into finding things you like to do and making it a point to do them. Staying in becomes a habit and the dissatisfaction you used to feel settles into an accepted state of monotony. You deserve to live a life full of laughter, excitement, and dreams fulfilled. Go out and make some memories.

Breaking out of the hermit life is not easy, but it can be done with practice.

Tips for breaking out of the hermit cave and joining the world:

  1. Venture out for mundane tasks.If you usually work from home or a stuffy office, take your laptop and set up shop at a nearby Panera bread. The simple act of being around people can often lift your spirits and make you feel like a part of the human race. The next time you go out to eat, proudly eat by yourself in the restaurant instead of taking it to go. I often find that I do not feel lonely or like a creepy loser when I eat by myself at a restaurant. I feel sophisticated and confident. Try it.
  2. Plan ahead.Don’t wait until Friday after work to think about what you’re going to do Friday night. Often people will already have made their plans (that apparently you aren’t included in) or will settle into their own hermit status by the time Friday evening rolls around. Reach out to friends to make plans a few days in advance.
  3. Be flexible.Hermits often perpetuate their loneliness by insisting on going somewhere close by, on not going to certain venues, or on not spending over a certain amount. It’s completely fine to have limits, but these can be internal rules you set for yourself without discussing them during the social planning process. Co-create the evening plans with your friends and try to compromise so that you all end up going out and having a great night.
  4. Be honest with yourself about what you like.If you are not a club person, don’t scare yourself out of going out by thinking that the only thing to do is to get sweaty on the dance floor. If you’re a fan of theater, invite a friend to a play with dessert afterwards. If you are a video gamer, organize a video game tournament at your place complete with pizza and drinks for a few of your friends. Create your own version of what a great night is—but include other people in those plans.

The next time you wonder if you should pick up the phone to make plans, go ahead and take the step. Your spirits will thank you.

Related Articles:

How to Keep Him Calling Back

6 Great Things About Spring And Dating

Seduction is Manipulation

Crafting a Nickname that will Help in the Dating Game

Texting Rules in Online and Offline Dating

Who Pays For The Date?

Heat Up His Desire Inflict Pain

Try Speed Dating!

The Proper Place for Drama

Get One Thing Done

How Important Is Chemistry?

How to Make Your Boyfriend Miss You 

" ["link"]=> string(77) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2021/01/breaking-out-of-being-hermit.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(7898) "

It is Saturday night, and I am blogging in the lobby of a hotel instead of hanging out in New York City with people my age. I have chosen my computer over people several times in the last few months, and from the stream of Facebook updates I see on my page at 11 pm on a Saturday, lots of my friends are at home right now as well. When does liking to be at home alone turn from rest and relaxation to hermit status?

You are a hermit if…

  1. You want to go out butyou get anxious at the thought of getting dressed up and having to hang out with people you do or don’t know.
  2. You are not doing something you truly enjoywhile staying home. You’re piddling around on the internet, watching television half-interestedly, or having a monotonous conversation on the phone with a fellow hermit.
  3. You hope that someone will call youwith something to do, but you refuse to call someone up proactively and make plans.

I am a self-proclaimed hermit in recovery. Despite my loudness and big personality, I am quite a homebody. I love to order take-out, pop some popcorn, and watch movies in bed (preferably with a handsome man). I love to wander aimlessly on the internet and read random articles. However, there has to be a limit to my hermitage.

Being a hermit is no good, because:

  1. You can lose perspective.Spending time alone is an important part of being comfortable with yourself, but if you spend it ruminating over things that aren’t going well in your life, you can start giving more importance to the negative things going on in your life than they deserve.
  2. You lose touch with your friends. A huge part of friendship is actually spending time together, seeing one another be vulnerable, and helping one another through difficult times. If you are feeling sad or lonely, reach out to a friend and say so. Everyone gets lonely, and you shouldn’t compound the situation by isolating yourself. Your friends love you and they want to be there for you! Let them. By reaching out to your friends, you’ll help build up your relationshipsand solve the loneliness problem.
  3. It perpetuates the situation.The less you go out and the more you stay in, the less accustomed you get to investing time and energy into finding things you like to do and making it a point to do them. Staying in becomes a habit and the dissatisfaction you used to feel settles into an accepted state of monotony. You deserve to live a life full of laughter, excitement, and dreams fulfilled. Go out and make some memories.

Breaking out of the hermit life is not easy, but it can be done with practice.

Tips for breaking out of the hermit cave and joining the world:

  1. Venture out for mundane tasks.If you usually work from home or a stuffy office, take your laptop and set up shop at a nearby Panera bread. The simple act of being around people can often lift your spirits and make you feel like a part of the human race. The next time you go out to eat, proudly eat by yourself in the restaurant instead of taking it to go. I often find that I do not feel lonely or like a creepy loser when I eat by myself at a restaurant. I feel sophisticated and confident. Try it.
  2. Plan ahead.Don’t wait until Friday after work to think about what you’re going to do Friday night. Often people will already have made their plans (that apparently you aren’t included in) or will settle into their own hermit status by the time Friday evening rolls around. Reach out to friends to make plans a few days in advance.
  3. Be flexible.Hermits often perpetuate their loneliness by insisting on going somewhere close by, on not going to certain venues, or on not spending over a certain amount. It’s completely fine to have limits, but these can be internal rules you set for yourself without discussing them during the social planning process. Co-create the evening plans with your friends and try to compromise so that you all end up going out and having a great night.
  4. Be honest with yourself about what you like.If you are not a club person, don’t scare yourself out of going out by thinking that the only thing to do is to get sweaty on the dance floor. If you’re a fan of theater, invite a friend to a play with dessert afterwards. If you are a video gamer, organize a video game tournament at your place complete with pizza and drinks for a few of your friends. Create your own version of what a great night is—but include other people in those plans.

The next time you wonder if you should pick up the phone to make plans, go ahead and take the step. Your spirits will thank you.

Related Articles:

How to Keep Him Calling Back

6 Great Things About Spring And Dating

Seduction is Manipulation

Crafting a Nickname that will Help in the Dating Game

Texting Rules in Online and Offline Dating

Who Pays For The Date?

Heat Up His Desire Inflict Pain

Try Speed Dating!

The Proper Place for Drama

Get One Thing Done

How Important Is Chemistry?

How to Make Your Boyfriend Miss You 

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1611330300) } [1]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-7892895875486573835" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 21 Jan 2021 16:27:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2021-01-21T08:27:23.434-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(77) "Love thy neighbour. Wouldn't it be better if I just gave them a cup of sugar?" ["description"]=> string(9523) "

I haven't been on friendly terms with my neighbours since I moved away from Dublin about seven years ago. In Dublin, people know if you fart in a different way to the way you did the day before and everyone feels like they know everyone. The whole neighbourly thing is just not the done thing in London where it's a cardinal sin to ask a stranger for directions nevermind acknowledge that there are people living next door to you. It is OK to fart like a trooper without saying pardon on public transport though but that's a whole other story...

Since we've been doing country living on the edge of London though, it's starting to feel like I know half the town. I can rarely leave the house without bumping into someone I know and it's kind of fun. People wave to you when you walk by the shops and they know me quite well in Waitrose because I can't stop going in the place...OK that and the fact that I threw up all over their store, keeled over, and writhed in agony in their first aid room.

Anyway...a few weeks ago I had to go and see my new neighbour because I was p*ssed of about them piling up lots of bins outside the side of our house. We ended up chatting and I forgot about it till yesterday when I opened the front door and he said "Do you remember that time when you said if there was anything we needed, I should just call over?"

I stared at him blankly and a thought popped into my head. "I was kinda thinking cup of sugar territory..."

"Er yes..."I said warily.

"Well we need you!" and he launched into a rather long story about how his girlfriend had hurt her neck, he'd called an ambulance, now they were back home but she couldn't do very much.

"Basically, can you go over there in about half an hour and put the kids to bed?" They're one and two and a half.

It took a few moments for the request to connect with my brain and I could feel myself blinking furiously and my face flushing. He stared at me with an imploring look.

"I..er...yes...OK" I said in false bravado.

I admit...there was a moment when I wondered if it was all a ploy and I was going to be sold into slavery. I phoned the boyf up and explained what had happened and suggested my theory. I was greeted with silence. "OK, OK...maybe not slavery but they better not be any of those freaky deaky country people that get you to put your keys in the bowl and get swinging...." More silence and then him making me promise I'd call as soon as I got home. Ah, maybe he was worried!

Half an hour later, the bambino was hovering by his kids bedroom door as the one year old shrieked the place down like there was some heap of murderation going down. Wrestling with me as I tried to carry her to the bedroom, I actually didn't know whether to laugh or throw myself on the floor. The bambino, normally one to be walking along by guiding herself around the furniture or emptying out the drawers, eyed me suspiciously.

As I finally managed to get the one year old into not one, but two sleepsuits (I had no idea some people dress their babies like this!), the bambino went into meltdown mode and started slapping my leg as if to say "Get your frickin hands off that baby!"

I was glad I was able to help out but my God it was stressful and awkward! The kids had no idea who the hell I was? The two and a half year old would start shrieking when I so much as even attempted to walk towards her cot! I was mor-ti-fied!

When I got home, I packed the bambino off to bed and had a glass of wine to mellow myself. How do I get myself in these situations?

On another note, an email from HMV has just notified me that my Wii Fitness will be arriving within 5 days! Yay!

On a totally different note, my ma ended the Cold War and came to visit last Thursday. The joys of having a baby mean that mamas with grudges have to let go of them if they want to see their grandchild! She keeps saying "It's ages since you've been around to visit" Er, yeah I know! You were frickin blanking me for nearly five weeks hence the lack of visits! Mothers!

Related Articles:

Best Songs About Sex

7 Ways Being A Better Cook Can Make You A Better Lover

5 Kinky Dating Tips

3 Ways To Tell If Your Dinner Date Is Going Right

Free Online Dating Websites

How Do You Know If He's Available?

How To Direct Your Life

Are You Worthy of Having What You (Really) Want?

Can You (Really) Have It All?

When Is Good Good Enough In Your Relationship?

What Do You Do If… Your Dream Man Becomes Your Nightmare!

Holiday Romance?

What Do You Do If… He Invites You To Vegas?

What Do You Do If… He Asks You To Call?

" ["link"]=> string(88) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2021/01/love-thy-neighbour-wouldnt-it-be-better.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(9523) "

I haven't been on friendly terms with my neighbours since I moved away from Dublin about seven years ago. In Dublin, people know if you fart in a different way to the way you did the day before and everyone feels like they know everyone. The whole neighbourly thing is just not the done thing in London where it's a cardinal sin to ask a stranger for directions nevermind acknowledge that there are people living next door to you. It is OK to fart like a trooper without saying pardon on public transport though but that's a whole other story...

Since we've been doing country living on the edge of London though, it's starting to feel like I know half the town. I can rarely leave the house without bumping into someone I know and it's kind of fun. People wave to you when you walk by the shops and they know me quite well in Waitrose because I can't stop going in the place...OK that and the fact that I threw up all over their store, keeled over, and writhed in agony in their first aid room.

Anyway...a few weeks ago I had to go and see my new neighbour because I was p*ssed of about them piling up lots of bins outside the side of our house. We ended up chatting and I forgot about it till yesterday when I opened the front door and he said "Do you remember that time when you said if there was anything we needed, I should just call over?"

I stared at him blankly and a thought popped into my head. "I was kinda thinking cup of sugar territory..."

"Er yes..."I said warily.

"Well we need you!" and he launched into a rather long story about how his girlfriend had hurt her neck, he'd called an ambulance, now they were back home but she couldn't do very much.

"Basically, can you go over there in about half an hour and put the kids to bed?" They're one and two and a half.

It took a few moments for the request to connect with my brain and I could feel myself blinking furiously and my face flushing. He stared at me with an imploring look.

"I..er...yes...OK" I said in false bravado.

I admit...there was a moment when I wondered if it was all a ploy and I was going to be sold into slavery. I phoned the boyf up and explained what had happened and suggested my theory. I was greeted with silence. "OK, OK...maybe not slavery but they better not be any of those freaky deaky country people that get you to put your keys in the bowl and get swinging...." More silence and then him making me promise I'd call as soon as I got home. Ah, maybe he was worried!

Half an hour later, the bambino was hovering by his kids bedroom door as the one year old shrieked the place down like there was some heap of murderation going down. Wrestling with me as I tried to carry her to the bedroom, I actually didn't know whether to laugh or throw myself on the floor. The bambino, normally one to be walking along by guiding herself around the furniture or emptying out the drawers, eyed me suspiciously.

As I finally managed to get the one year old into not one, but two sleepsuits (I had no idea some people dress their babies like this!), the bambino went into meltdown mode and started slapping my leg as if to say "Get your frickin hands off that baby!"

I was glad I was able to help out but my God it was stressful and awkward! The kids had no idea who the hell I was? The two and a half year old would start shrieking when I so much as even attempted to walk towards her cot! I was mor-ti-fied!

When I got home, I packed the bambino off to bed and had a glass of wine to mellow myself. How do I get myself in these situations?

On another note, an email from HMV has just notified me that my Wii Fitness will be arriving within 5 days! Yay!

On a totally different note, my ma ended the Cold War and came to visit last Thursday. The joys of having a baby mean that mamas with grudges have to let go of them if they want to see their grandchild! She keeps saying "It's ages since you've been around to visit" Er, yeah I know! You were frickin blanking me for nearly five weeks hence the lack of visits! Mothers!

Related Articles:

Best Songs About Sex

7 Ways Being A Better Cook Can Make You A Better Lover

5 Kinky Dating Tips

3 Ways To Tell If Your Dinner Date Is Going Right

Free Online Dating Websites

How Do You Know If He's Available?

How To Direct Your Life

Are You Worthy of Having What You (Really) Want?

Can You (Really) Have It All?

When Is Good Good Enough In Your Relationship?

What Do You Do If… Your Dream Man Becomes Your Nightmare!

Holiday Romance?

What Do You Do If… He Invites You To Vegas?

What Do You Do If… He Asks You To Call?

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1611246420) } [2]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-5499852536449157284" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 21 Jan 2021 16:19:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2021-01-21T08:19:11.507-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(44) "Is it crack or is it foot in mouth disorder?" ["description"]=> string(8161) "

 Sometimes I have to wonder if I am on crack...

"You know you're gonna have to stop worrying about being organised before the baby arrives because babies have a way of killing that off..." I wisecracked to our pregnant friends husband.

"Why?" interjected our party host. "Who's having a baby? Are you having a baby?" she exclaimed.

The boyf fell around laughing as the husband admitted that they are pregnant and I felt my face flush.

"OH.F*CK" I said with an embarrassed giggle. "I thought everyone knew!"
"Well they do now!"wisecracked the boyf.
"Oh shut up!" I laughed as I silently vowed not to put my foot in my mouth again.

I blame pregnancy. I'm not pregnant before anyone gets the wrong idea but ever since I got up the duff, my brain has mushy moments and my well heeled size four feet get stuck in my mouth from time to time.

Like when I accidentally revealed to the boyf's brother that myself and his ex girlfriend (one of my best friends MB) must have been dissecting his girlfriend's that followed her when I overheard him talking to the boyf about bumping into some ex of his.

Unable to shut up, I burst in with "Oh is that the white one?" and the two of them stared at me incredulously. I was heavily pregnant and for a moment I did consider trying to hide myself out of sheer embarrassment until I realised that was nigh on impossible with my humoungous bump.

"Who told you that?!" his brother demanded with a broad grin as the boyf fell around laughing.

I did what I do in any situation where I'm nervous and broke into clutching your sides giggles. I couldn't speak because I was laughing so hard as I tried to think of how I was going to extricate myself out of admitting that MB used to fill me in on the latest woman he was dating.

"I..ur...um...it was a guess...." I finally managed to squeeze out which only made the two of them laugh even harder. "OK, FINE! MB told me!" I admitted.

On the way home in the car, the boyf was still cracking up laughing and taking the piss out of me.

"I'm pregnant for f*cks sake! Of course I can't hold in information! Mor-ti-fi-f*cking-cation!" I wailed. I told MB about it and she thought it was hilarious thankfully!

I guess I shouldn't be surprised at another recent ridiculous incident....

So I'm lost in the street and I turned around to look for someone to ask for directions and seeing some feet coming towards me, I say without looking at the person yet, "Excuse me! Do you know where...." and as I said the words, my eyes moved up their body to see their face and I became momentarily frozen with shock as I realised that my nightmare was coming true. I had bumped into my stalker in the street! And asked them for directions! You couldn't make this sh*t up!

I have to go. I'm hungover like a mofo and in desperate need of some dinner. I have been out THREE nights in a row and the boyf has described me as a "rebellious drunk", which I guess must be true because I bollocked the bouncer at the bar, accusing him of sexual discrimination for finding a taxi for the lads but not the girls....

Oh and the bambino is going to be one on Saturday! Yay! Back soon!

Related Articles:

“Me Time” The Time Between Relationships

Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?

Inventive9 Loveawake

Are You Neutering Your Man?

Get Ready, Get Set…Midlife Dating

Attraction And The Color Red

How To Know if Hes REALLY Interested

How To Handle the Not-So-Great Men

Where Are All the Great Men?

Attract Him With The Five Senses - Touch

Is Your Stage Set for Love?

How to Make Your Dating Better

Online Dating Secrets

Step by Step Online Dating Guide

Is He Dating You, Courting You or WTF?

" ["link"]=> string(83) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2021/01/is-it-crack-or-is-it-foot-in-mouth.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(8161) "

 Sometimes I have to wonder if I am on crack...

"You know you're gonna have to stop worrying about being organised before the baby arrives because babies have a way of killing that off..." I wisecracked to our pregnant friends husband.

"Why?" interjected our party host. "Who's having a baby? Are you having a baby?" she exclaimed.

The boyf fell around laughing as the husband admitted that they are pregnant and I felt my face flush.

"OH.F*CK" I said with an embarrassed giggle. "I thought everyone knew!"
"Well they do now!"wisecracked the boyf.
"Oh shut up!" I laughed as I silently vowed not to put my foot in my mouth again.

I blame pregnancy. I'm not pregnant before anyone gets the wrong idea but ever since I got up the duff, my brain has mushy moments and my well heeled size four feet get stuck in my mouth from time to time.

Like when I accidentally revealed to the boyf's brother that myself and his ex girlfriend (one of my best friends MB) must have been dissecting his girlfriend's that followed her when I overheard him talking to the boyf about bumping into some ex of his.

Unable to shut up, I burst in with "Oh is that the white one?" and the two of them stared at me incredulously. I was heavily pregnant and for a moment I did consider trying to hide myself out of sheer embarrassment until I realised that was nigh on impossible with my humoungous bump.

"Who told you that?!" his brother demanded with a broad grin as the boyf fell around laughing.

I did what I do in any situation where I'm nervous and broke into clutching your sides giggles. I couldn't speak because I was laughing so hard as I tried to think of how I was going to extricate myself out of admitting that MB used to fill me in on the latest woman he was dating.

"I..ur...um...it was a guess...." I finally managed to squeeze out which only made the two of them laugh even harder. "OK, FINE! MB told me!" I admitted.

On the way home in the car, the boyf was still cracking up laughing and taking the piss out of me.

"I'm pregnant for f*cks sake! Of course I can't hold in information! Mor-ti-fi-f*cking-cation!" I wailed. I told MB about it and she thought it was hilarious thankfully!

I guess I shouldn't be surprised at another recent ridiculous incident....

So I'm lost in the street and I turned around to look for someone to ask for directions and seeing some feet coming towards me, I say without looking at the person yet, "Excuse me! Do you know where...." and as I said the words, my eyes moved up their body to see their face and I became momentarily frozen with shock as I realised that my nightmare was coming true. I had bumped into my stalker in the street! And asked them for directions! You couldn't make this sh*t up!

I have to go. I'm hungover like a mofo and in desperate need of some dinner. I have been out THREE nights in a row and the boyf has described me as a "rebellious drunk", which I guess must be true because I bollocked the bouncer at the bar, accusing him of sexual discrimination for finding a taxi for the lads but not the girls....

Oh and the bambino is going to be one on Saturday! Yay! Back soon!

Related Articles:

“Me Time” The Time Between Relationships

Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?

Inventive9 Loveawake

Are You Neutering Your Man?

Get Ready, Get Set…Midlife Dating

Attraction And The Color Red

How To Know if Hes REALLY Interested

How To Handle the Not-So-Great Men

Where Are All the Great Men?

Attract Him With The Five Senses - Touch

Is Your Stage Set for Love?

How to Make Your Dating Better

Online Dating Secrets

Step by Step Online Dating Guide

Is He Dating You, Courting You or WTF?

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1611245940) } [3]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-1599632286680469544" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 21 Jan 2021 16:10:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2021-01-21T08:10:45.443-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(85) "I'm not super-frickin-woman: When a woman tries to do everything and then implodes..." ["description"]=> string(14673) "


 So I've ended up having an accidental break...well sort of... Where have I been? Working and in an exhausted heap! No matter what anyone tells you, much like the pain of childbirth, I don't think anyone can quit capture how exhausting not only being a mum is, but being self-employed. It's almost six months since I bit the bullet and decided to be my own boss and quite frankly, it's kicked my ass! Sweet baby effing Jesus and the angels!

I've always been considered to be quite organised. My desk at work was always a hovel but I've always said that it was a sign of creativity and a busy mind... Now, the house, my never-ending todo list, my various baskets of magazines, filing, thousands of emails, and my sometimes neglected but nonetheless much loved family, have become a symbol of a woman who is just trying to do too much and feeling like she's on a hamster wheel.

When I decided to become self-employed, it had been something that I had been talking about for a while and the whole maternity leave debacle just made it a lot easier to make the jump. Don't get me wrong, I love doing my own thang, but sometimes it feels like out of the fat, into the fire and that's simply because at the same time as setting up as a publisher, I also took on consultancy work. When you combine that with the bambino, the boyf, a house that seems to look tidy for a few hours, my crackerjack family, plus of course, wanting to have me-time, well, I ended up with no time.

Since making the leap, my baby products blog has taken off, Baggage Reclaim has got even bigger, plus I published an ebook which also did really well, which in turn created more work, plus I launched another blog with my friend, and much more. What set off the feeling of exhaustion was the hundreds of emails with feature my product, my boyfriends an assclown, please help me, and by the time it got to last week, my inbox and life in general felt like I was needed for something, somewhere. Of course I cracked, and feeling hormonal because you know that sh*t always decides to hit the proverbial fan when you've got horrid cramps, I finally broke down in tears and tiredness. Did I mention that during all of this I was trying to finish 300+ page book and ebook?

The boyf was brilliant and took me to task and forced me to take a break, take a deep breath, and start making plans to remove myself out of every last little thing...and delegate. Conveniently, I can't delegate the housework to him...but the cleaner is being organised. He and the bambino had lots of quality time over the past week which meant that I could work relatively guilt free, although she did come over a couple of times, whack me in the face, pull off my glasses, and try to yank my hair out by my roots...

I feel much better now because I talked about what was bothering me and I realised that even though I talk to the boyf about work, I don't really talk and communicate what I'm doing, what my week is actually like, and I realise that because I'm self-employed and working from home that I don't have the buffer of crackerjack colleagues that are sharing my pressures. He was shocked when I told him that I edit (and write some) 90 posts a week for the two baby blogs, write 5 posts minimum for Baggage Reclaim, plus I individually reply back to every request for advice...even though it may take a while. Requests for advice can be as much as fifty a week or more...Then there are the requests for sites to be featured, product reviews, guest contributing...

I've been flying by the seat of my pants and I've become the woman that doesn't say 'no', 'in a minute', 'that sounds great but it'll have to wait a day/week/weeks/' or 'can someone help me with this?' I also let my overflowing inbox weigh me down by putting off emails and not managing peoples expectations of when they can expect to hear from me. I want to help everyone!

What the hell has happened to me? It's like I'm trying to be frickin' superwoman! No wonder I felt like I was losing my mind at times and really, I'm the one who is creating pressure on myself. If I just opened up my usually rather loud mouth and managed peoples expectations, plus delegated...OK and learned how to organise the self-employed version of me and time manage myself, life would get easier.

I'm not a Yes Woman! I've made a career out of telling people to inject some 'NO' into their life and not be so pliable, and here I am throwing myself under the wheels of my own self-employed car and wondering why I'm being run over...

I don't know why I didn't speak up but I think part of me knew that the boyf would be shocked at how thinly I had spread myself but also because I have taken being self-employed to the nth degree and placed everything on me. He had to work some long hours recently although (touch wood) he hasn't had to travel much, so I think I may have tried not to load him up with my stuff. Silly though because he's saying 'Load me up! I want to know exactly what's going on!' so he's having a little meeting with me each week so I can sanity check myself and not feel alone in my work.

And I'm not. I have the boyf, the bambino (she's not very good at filing though and keeps emptying it), and two brilliant friends Kat and Brenda who I'm working with on the baby blogs, plus on a few other things, and suddenly I can delegate, and share. The odd thing was is that I could before, I just wasn't...

And before anyone asks, the whole problem with 'That Newspaper' is still being investigated.

Back soon...

If you want to know what I've been up to:

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" ["link"]=> string(86) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2021/01/im-not-super-frickin-woman-when-woman.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(14673) "


 So I've ended up having an accidental break...well sort of... Where have I been? Working and in an exhausted heap! No matter what anyone tells you, much like the pain of childbirth, I don't think anyone can quit capture how exhausting not only being a mum is, but being self-employed. It's almost six months since I bit the bullet and decided to be my own boss and quite frankly, it's kicked my ass! Sweet baby effing Jesus and the angels!

I've always been considered to be quite organised. My desk at work was always a hovel but I've always said that it was a sign of creativity and a busy mind... Now, the house, my never-ending todo list, my various baskets of magazines, filing, thousands of emails, and my sometimes neglected but nonetheless much loved family, have become a symbol of a woman who is just trying to do too much and feeling like she's on a hamster wheel.

When I decided to become self-employed, it had been something that I had been talking about for a while and the whole maternity leave debacle just made it a lot easier to make the jump. Don't get me wrong, I love doing my own thang, but sometimes it feels like out of the fat, into the fire and that's simply because at the same time as setting up as a publisher, I also took on consultancy work. When you combine that with the bambino, the boyf, a house that seems to look tidy for a few hours, my crackerjack family, plus of course, wanting to have me-time, well, I ended up with no time.

Since making the leap, my baby products blog has taken off, Baggage Reclaim has got even bigger, plus I published an ebook which also did really well, which in turn created more work, plus I launched another blog with my friend, and much more. What set off the feeling of exhaustion was the hundreds of emails with feature my product, my boyfriends an assclown, please help me, and by the time it got to last week, my inbox and life in general felt like I was needed for something, somewhere. Of course I cracked, and feeling hormonal because you know that sh*t always decides to hit the proverbial fan when you've got horrid cramps, I finally broke down in tears and tiredness. Did I mention that during all of this I was trying to finish 300+ page book and ebook?

The boyf was brilliant and took me to task and forced me to take a break, take a deep breath, and start making plans to remove myself out of every last little thing...and delegate. Conveniently, I can't delegate the housework to him...but the cleaner is being organised. He and the bambino had lots of quality time over the past week which meant that I could work relatively guilt free, although she did come over a couple of times, whack me in the face, pull off my glasses, and try to yank my hair out by my roots...

I feel much better now because I talked about what was bothering me and I realised that even though I talk to the boyf about work, I don't really talk and communicate what I'm doing, what my week is actually like, and I realise that because I'm self-employed and working from home that I don't have the buffer of crackerjack colleagues that are sharing my pressures. He was shocked when I told him that I edit (and write some) 90 posts a week for the two baby blogs, write 5 posts minimum for Baggage Reclaim, plus I individually reply back to every request for advice...even though it may take a while. Requests for advice can be as much as fifty a week or more...Then there are the requests for sites to be featured, product reviews, guest contributing...

I've been flying by the seat of my pants and I've become the woman that doesn't say 'no', 'in a minute', 'that sounds great but it'll have to wait a day/week/weeks/' or 'can someone help me with this?' I also let my overflowing inbox weigh me down by putting off emails and not managing peoples expectations of when they can expect to hear from me. I want to help everyone!

What the hell has happened to me? It's like I'm trying to be frickin' superwoman! No wonder I felt like I was losing my mind at times and really, I'm the one who is creating pressure on myself. If I just opened up my usually rather loud mouth and managed peoples expectations, plus delegated...OK and learned how to organise the self-employed version of me and time manage myself, life would get easier.

I'm not a Yes Woman! I've made a career out of telling people to inject some 'NO' into their life and not be so pliable, and here I am throwing myself under the wheels of my own self-employed car and wondering why I'm being run over...

I don't know why I didn't speak up but I think part of me knew that the boyf would be shocked at how thinly I had spread myself but also because I have taken being self-employed to the nth degree and placed everything on me. He had to work some long hours recently although (touch wood) he hasn't had to travel much, so I think I may have tried not to load him up with my stuff. Silly though because he's saying 'Load me up! I want to know exactly what's going on!' so he's having a little meeting with me each week so I can sanity check myself and not feel alone in my work.

And I'm not. I have the boyf, the bambino (she's not very good at filing though and keeps emptying it), and two brilliant friends Kat and Brenda who I'm working with on the baby blogs, plus on a few other things, and suddenly I can delegate, and share. The odd thing was is that I could before, I just wasn't...

And before anyone asks, the whole problem with 'That Newspaper' is still being investigated.

Back soon...

If you want to know what I've been up to:

Related Artciles:

Bremertonchamber Loveawake

Livonia Loveawake

Nocchamber Loveawake

Lakehouston Loveawake

Sanramon Loveawake NM

Portsmouthchamber Loveawake NM

Lakesregionchamber Loveawake NM

Adirondackchamber Loveawake NM

Worcesterchamber Loveawake NM

Chambermv Loveawake NM

Ogunquit Loveawake NM

Nantucketchamber Loveawake NM

Howardchamber Loveawake

Bristolchamber Loveawake

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Gochambermaster Loveawake

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Denisontexas Loveawake

Springgreen Loveawake

Beavercreekchamber Loveawake

Losaltoschamber Loveawake

Kylechamber Loveawake

Portaransas Loveawake


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1611245400) } [4]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-4354509487638976608" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 08 Jan 2021 16:52:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2021-01-08T08:52:26.223-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(23) "Is it Okay to Call Him?" ["description"]=> string(9943) "


 Lee Ann is confused.  She met a cute guy named Dave on a couple of separate occasions.  He gave her his cell phone and asked her to call.

 
Lee Ann didn’t.
 
Lee Ann did, however, call Dave for business since he works at the car dealership where she takes her car for repairs.
 
After her oil filter was replaced, Dave asked Lee Ann for a date.
 
Excited, Lee Ann primped and prepared and went out with Dave.
 
At the end of the evening, Dave said, “This was cool.  Call me if you want to hang out again.”
 
WTF???  Is this some kind of test?
 
“What’s he doing?” Lee Ann asks in frustration. ”What’s going on?  Is he trying to get me to chase him?”
 
Oh yeah.  That’s exactly what he’s doing.
 
How many times have you met a cute guy, had a great conversation and right before parting, he gives you his card and asks you to call?
 
It happens all the time.
 
What do you do when he asks you to call?  What are your choices?
 
Here are three:
 
1.  Call Him

This is an option.  You can call him.  You can chase.  You can invite him out, pick him up and pay.
 
Because when you call a guy, you’re playing the role of a masculine “Hero.”  You’re the initiator.  You make the plans.  You pay.
 
If you call him, you can’t expect him to pick up the lead, invite you out and pay.  That’s not how it works.
 
If you want to chase him … if you want to pursue him … you have every right to do it. 
 
Carry on!  Just don’t forget your wallet.
 
2.  Don’t Call Him
 
This works beautifully when you don’t like the guy.
 
If he gives you his card and asks you to call, say “thank you” with a smile on your face and put it in your purse.
 
Keep smiling … knowing you will never have to see him again.
 
Of course if you like the guy and don’t call him … where does that leave you?
 
3.  Tell Him How You REALLY Feel
 
If the guy you like asks you to call and you know you don’t want to chase him, but you also know you’d like to see him again, here’s what you do:
 
First, thank him for inviting you to call.
 
Second, tell him you’re not comfortable calling men.
 
Third, tell him you feel better when he calls you and you will call him back.
 
If he calls you, he’s interested.  If he doesn’t, he’s not.  Wouldn’t you like to know if he’s into you sooner rather than later?
 
Thought so.  See how simple it is?

Realated Articles: 

Найти Мужа во Франции

Do Your Fears Keep You Single?

Encouraging Goal-Congruent Dating Behavior

Vision Boards Work

How to Get Him to Notice You On Line

How to Make a Favorable First Impression

How to Say "No" After You've Said "Yes"

Keep It Moving and Expect Nothing

How to Meet Your Man

My 20-Day Boyfriend

Are You Limiting Your Choices in Love?

" ["link"]=> string(71) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2021/01/is-it-okay-to-call-him.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(9943) "


 Lee Ann is confused.  She met a cute guy named Dave on a couple of separate occasions.  He gave her his cell phone and asked her to call.

 
Lee Ann didn’t.
 
Lee Ann did, however, call Dave for business since he works at the car dealership where she takes her car for repairs.
 
After her oil filter was replaced, Dave asked Lee Ann for a date.
 
Excited, Lee Ann primped and prepared and went out with Dave.
 
At the end of the evening, Dave said, “This was cool.  Call me if you want to hang out again.”
 
WTF???  Is this some kind of test?
 
“What’s he doing?” Lee Ann asks in frustration. ”What’s going on?  Is he trying to get me to chase him?”
 
Oh yeah.  That’s exactly what he’s doing.
 
How many times have you met a cute guy, had a great conversation and right before parting, he gives you his card and asks you to call?
 
It happens all the time.
 
What do you do when he asks you to call?  What are your choices?
 
Here are three:
 
1.  Call Him

This is an option.  You can call him.  You can chase.  You can invite him out, pick him up and pay.
 
Because when you call a guy, you’re playing the role of a masculine “Hero.”  You’re the initiator.  You make the plans.  You pay.
 
If you call him, you can’t expect him to pick up the lead, invite you out and pay.  That’s not how it works.
 
If you want to chase him … if you want to pursue him … you have every right to do it. 
 
Carry on!  Just don’t forget your wallet.
 
2.  Don’t Call Him
 
This works beautifully when you don’t like the guy.
 
If he gives you his card and asks you to call, say “thank you” with a smile on your face and put it in your purse.
 
Keep smiling … knowing you will never have to see him again.
 
Of course if you like the guy and don’t call him … where does that leave you?
 
3.  Tell Him How You REALLY Feel
 
If the guy you like asks you to call and you know you don’t want to chase him, but you also know you’d like to see him again, here’s what you do:
 
First, thank him for inviting you to call.
 
Second, tell him you’re not comfortable calling men.
 
Third, tell him you feel better when he calls you and you will call him back.
 
If he calls you, he’s interested.  If he doesn’t, he’s not.  Wouldn’t you like to know if he’s into you sooner rather than later?
 
Thought so.  See how simple it is?

Realated Articles: 

Найти Мужа во Франции

Do Your Fears Keep You Single?

Encouraging Goal-Congruent Dating Behavior

Vision Boards Work

How to Get Him to Notice You On Line

How to Make a Favorable First Impression

How to Say "No" After You've Said "Yes"

Keep It Moving and Expect Nothing

How to Meet Your Man

My 20-Day Boyfriend

Are You Limiting Your Choices in Love?

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1610124720) } [5]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-1440719882989727683" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 24 Dec 2020 16:14:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-12-24T08:14:40.892-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(25) "How to Date a Married Man" ["description"]=> string(8133) "

 Disclaimer: This is never a good idea. No matter how you think it may end, it will end badly. This is not a movie, in which he is misunderstood by his wife and you are the only one who “gets” him. His wife will inevitably find out about you. Besides, there are millions of single men in the world. Try dating one of them, before shacking up with somebody who has already been claimed.



Okay, so if you are still reading this, you probably don’t care to hear lectures. You know what can (and will!) go wrong, but frankly, the pros outweigh the cons, right? At least for the moment. What you really want to know is how do you date a married man?

The first thing you don’t do is leave a paper trail. Do not text, email, or write notes. This is very hard to avoid, as it is often the primary source of contact. Yahoo Messenger or other instant messaging programs may seem tempting; however, to a snooping wife, archived files are very easy to access. With a forum, though, she would have to know both the website and the password.

When you date a married man, you must prepare yourself to be lonely. You will spend many nights alone while he is at home with his family. Yet you cannot call him or see him whenever you want. You will have to resign yourself to seeing him on his schedule. It is extremely important that you do not call. The classic call-and-hang-up is a dead giveaway to his wife, if she answers the phone.

Also, you must give up the expectation that he will leave his wife for you. When it has finally happened, that’s when you can believe it. Before then, just assume it is lip service. There are many reasons a man feels obligated to stay with his family, but very few reasons for him to throw caution to the wind and leave. If you stop worrying about when he’ll leave, you will be able to live in the moment better.

Next, don’t let anyone find out: not your friends, not your family, not your coworkers (especially if you and the man you’re seeing work together). This is a very common mistake made in affairs. The more people become involved, the more likely it is to get back to his wife.

Finally, really think about what is in it for you. After months of being treated as a secret, you may feel resentful. Is this guy really worth the hassle of not seeing him when you want, not being able to call, having to tiptoe around your feelings? Don’t stay as a favor to him. Figure out what you need in a partner and decide on your own if this man can truly fulfill those needs.

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Valentine’s Day Survival Guide

" ["link"]=> string(72) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/12/how-to-date-married-man.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(8133) "

 Disclaimer: This is never a good idea. No matter how you think it may end, it will end badly. This is not a movie, in which he is misunderstood by his wife and you are the only one who “gets” him. His wife will inevitably find out about you. Besides, there are millions of single men in the world. Try dating one of them, before shacking up with somebody who has already been claimed.



Okay, so if you are still reading this, you probably don’t care to hear lectures. You know what can (and will!) go wrong, but frankly, the pros outweigh the cons, right? At least for the moment. What you really want to know is how do you date a married man?

The first thing you don’t do is leave a paper trail. Do not text, email, or write notes. This is very hard to avoid, as it is often the primary source of contact. Yahoo Messenger or other instant messaging programs may seem tempting; however, to a snooping wife, archived files are very easy to access. With a forum, though, she would have to know both the website and the password.

When you date a married man, you must prepare yourself to be lonely. You will spend many nights alone while he is at home with his family. Yet you cannot call him or see him whenever you want. You will have to resign yourself to seeing him on his schedule. It is extremely important that you do not call. The classic call-and-hang-up is a dead giveaway to his wife, if she answers the phone.

Also, you must give up the expectation that he will leave his wife for you. When it has finally happened, that’s when you can believe it. Before then, just assume it is lip service. There are many reasons a man feels obligated to stay with his family, but very few reasons for him to throw caution to the wind and leave. If you stop worrying about when he’ll leave, you will be able to live in the moment better.

Next, don’t let anyone find out: not your friends, not your family, not your coworkers (especially if you and the man you’re seeing work together). This is a very common mistake made in affairs. The more people become involved, the more likely it is to get back to his wife.

Finally, really think about what is in it for you. After months of being treated as a secret, you may feel resentful. Is this guy really worth the hassle of not seeing him when you want, not being able to call, having to tiptoe around your feelings? Don’t stay as a favor to him. Figure out what you need in a partner and decide on your own if this man can truly fulfill those needs.

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Valentine’s Day Survival Guide

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It’s Friday night.  You’re at a bar with your girlfriends, drinking martinis and talking.  Everywhere you look, good-looking men are standing with their own friends, laughing and looking around the room.  No wedding bands that you can see.  You want to make a connection.  You’re hoping one of them will spot you among this room full of beautiful, available women and make a move, right?

Don’t wait for a man to pick you out of the crowd.  Take the initiative!  If you see a man you want to get to know, go talk to him.  Strike up a conversation: ask him what he’s drinking, challenge him to a game of pool, or ask if he knows of any parties going on.  For the shy girls, catch his eye, hold it for five seconds, smile, then look away.  Do this a second time within a minute or two.  These actions will go a long way in grabbing a man’s attention.  Not only is this a good way to stand out in a crowd, but your self-confidence will shine like a beacon in the dim room.

If these things make you blush just thinking about it, take the easy road: play wingman to your more outgoing friend.  The wingman’s goal is to help his or her friend in securing the person they are after, whether that is by talking about how great your friend is, entertaining the man’s friends so he can focus on your friend, or just by being there for support.  In doing so, you have the option of getting to know the men without the pressure of trying to run the show yourself.

However, the most important way to ensure you draw men to you is to have a good time.  No matter how beautiful a woman may be, if she scowls and pouts, she’s not likely to attract a man (or if she does, he will likely be turned off by her attitude shortly thereafter).  I’ve heard attractive women complain time and time again, “I never get hit on at the bar!”  Many times, it is because they give off a vibe that they are bored, disinterested, or just plain snobby.  On the flip side, I have met women who were not considered as conventionally attractive as the others.  Yet, their approachable, effervescent personalities drew men like moths to their bright spark.

Enjoy the night with your girlfriends, make jokes, smile, laugh, have a good time.  You’ll come off as approachable and fun, and that is what men want when they go out with friends.  Remember that you’ll have fun whether you meet a man or not.  Your night out is first and foremost about hanging out and having a good time, right?  Men are attracted to that self-assuredness that you will be happy whether they are around or not.  Don’t rely on that possible connection to make or break your evening.  That attitude is what will attract a man to you.

Related Articles:

Who Goes In Your Dating Profile

Witty Dating Profiles

Choosing a Good Online Dating Username

How To Overcome the Fear of Internet Dating

Tips & Tricks for Great Online Dating Portraits

How to Survive Online Dating without a Profile Picture

Dressing for the First Few Dates

Kuwait Free Dating

Бесплатные Знакомства c Иностранцами

Put Sexploration to Work!

Dealing With Relationship Disaster

When Issues of Gender Cause Dating Confusion

Spanish Single Men



" ["link"]=> string(80) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/12/how-to-attract-man-on-night-out.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(7977) "



It’s Friday night.  You’re at a bar with your girlfriends, drinking martinis and talking.  Everywhere you look, good-looking men are standing with their own friends, laughing and looking around the room.  No wedding bands that you can see.  You want to make a connection.  You’re hoping one of them will spot you among this room full of beautiful, available women and make a move, right?

Don’t wait for a man to pick you out of the crowd.  Take the initiative!  If you see a man you want to get to know, go talk to him.  Strike up a conversation: ask him what he’s drinking, challenge him to a game of pool, or ask if he knows of any parties going on.  For the shy girls, catch his eye, hold it for five seconds, smile, then look away.  Do this a second time within a minute or two.  These actions will go a long way in grabbing a man’s attention.  Not only is this a good way to stand out in a crowd, but your self-confidence will shine like a beacon in the dim room.

If these things make you blush just thinking about it, take the easy road: play wingman to your more outgoing friend.  The wingman’s goal is to help his or her friend in securing the person they are after, whether that is by talking about how great your friend is, entertaining the man’s friends so he can focus on your friend, or just by being there for support.  In doing so, you have the option of getting to know the men without the pressure of trying to run the show yourself.

However, the most important way to ensure you draw men to you is to have a good time.  No matter how beautiful a woman may be, if she scowls and pouts, she’s not likely to attract a man (or if she does, he will likely be turned off by her attitude shortly thereafter).  I’ve heard attractive women complain time and time again, “I never get hit on at the bar!”  Many times, it is because they give off a vibe that they are bored, disinterested, or just plain snobby.  On the flip side, I have met women who were not considered as conventionally attractive as the others.  Yet, their approachable, effervescent personalities drew men like moths to their bright spark.

Enjoy the night with your girlfriends, make jokes, smile, laugh, have a good time.  You’ll come off as approachable and fun, and that is what men want when they go out with friends.  Remember that you’ll have fun whether you meet a man or not.  Your night out is first and foremost about hanging out and having a good time, right?  Men are attracted to that self-assuredness that you will be happy whether they are around or not.  Don’t rely on that possible connection to make or break your evening.  That attitude is what will attract a man to you.

Related Articles:

Who Goes In Your Dating Profile

Witty Dating Profiles

Choosing a Good Online Dating Username

How To Overcome the Fear of Internet Dating

Tips & Tricks for Great Online Dating Portraits

How to Survive Online Dating without a Profile Picture

Dressing for the First Few Dates

Kuwait Free Dating

Бесплатные Знакомства c Иностранцами

Put Sexploration to Work!

Dealing With Relationship Disaster

When Issues of Gender Cause Dating Confusion

Spanish Single Men



" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1608738840) } [7]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-8579663045128632180" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 16 Nov 2020 16:04:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-11-16T08:09:09.372-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(52) "Are You New To The Game ? - No need for Pickup Lines" ["description"]=> string(10933) "


For any men out there who are struggling or have just found out about the seduction community and are new to the game. Here is some real quick solid info to help you out in your quest to becoming a real man.

My name is Brooklyn. I’ve been in the seduction community for over 2 years now. I’ve only been getting better & better at the Game as i progress. I started just like all you out there. I was searching the web one night and came across David Deangelo’s ebook Double Your Dating and purchased, downloaded and printed it out… The next day i could not stop reading it. I must have read it strait through in 4 hours only stopping to use the bathroom and eat. I was amazed. Little did i know how this new attained knowledge would affect my future forever.

The DYD book got me started on my journey which is not just called “the game” but we now refer to it as the men’s self improvement journey. From this book i started getting better at interacting with women almost immediately. I didn’t stop there. I wanted to learn more and more so I eventually saved up and purchased more David Deangelo products. I was learning more and more. You see in all of his material David does not just talk about how to become better at the game and memorize new pickup lines. He drills the importance of becoming a better man. A man who has more value in society because he has begun a self improvement journey. So with this knowledge i started reading books on his recommended reading list. (I purchased most of my books from Amazon, they are the cheapest on the net and they offer free shipping in the US. Get the Amazon credit card! you save $30 instantly and they send you out these $25 gift certificates every couple months once you get enough points. Well worth it and it’s Free! ) Lets not forget the book “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists” (Neil Strauss) This book is like the Game bible for every player, PUA, and seduction guru. It’s a must read even though it’s more of a story then a reference to learn the game from. For more info read my post bellow on this book.

My Recommended Reading List.
The books under self-improvement are great for any player who wants to improve as a man and get his inner game together. Forget about learning fancy smooth pickup lines, NLP, Hypnosis, Magic Tricks, and Peacocking.

While on this journey i have come to find that getting your inner game together (improving yourself as a man) will work much more in your favor to help with your success with woman in the long run. All the canned openers, pickup lines and routines i learned are great and i still use some of them. They can also hurt you more then you know if you don’t understand how to have natural game. This is why i say, practice and study these books and products on the right on natural game. Which is really just being your best self. You might need to still develop yourself into a better man that the woman of your dreams will find attractive. Thats OK. Once you start getting these things handled you will see. People will just give you things. Woman, friends, jobs, and opportunities will fall into your lap. This is really the law of attraction at work here. Once you get your inner game handled you will get everything you want in life without trying to pretend, and fake it.

You see while all these pickup lines, different methods, strategies & routines, NLP and magic might work great for the time being. I have found that eventually you will get burnt once the woman you used this on finds out who you really are. You can only pretend, and say scripted openers, stories and routines so long. Trust me gentlemen on this…. I have lost some very beautiful high quality woman b/c of this. Don’t do it!!!
Learn the natural inner game methods first.

If you Like this find more at

Why Feeling Beautiful Does Matter to Your Personal Growth

Where Is Your Self-Respect? You Don’t Get Women Without It!

Relationship Advice for Men: Speak Up and Be Heard

5 Ways to Get the Respect, Love and Attention You’re Craving

Getting Closer in Your Relationships Starts with You

Judgment – A Thing Your Relationship Could Do WITHOUT

 4 Things That You Can’t and Can Do If You’re Not Getting What You Want From Your Relationships

3 Ways to Really Help When Someone You Care About is Having a Meltdown

3 Reasons Why Your Personal Growth Can Make or Break Your Love Relationship or Marriage

“Living The Dream”

 Women Jumping In The Air (For No Reason At All)

" ["link"]=> string(82) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/11/what-does-being-alpha-really-mean.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(10933) "


For any men out there who are struggling or have just found out about the seduction community and are new to the game. Here is some real quick solid info to help you out in your quest to becoming a real man.

My name is Brooklyn. I’ve been in the seduction community for over 2 years now. I’ve only been getting better & better at the Game as i progress. I started just like all you out there. I was searching the web one night and came across David Deangelo’s ebook Double Your Dating and purchased, downloaded and printed it out… The next day i could not stop reading it. I must have read it strait through in 4 hours only stopping to use the bathroom and eat. I was amazed. Little did i know how this new attained knowledge would affect my future forever.

The DYD book got me started on my journey which is not just called “the game” but we now refer to it as the men’s self improvement journey. From this book i started getting better at interacting with women almost immediately. I didn’t stop there. I wanted to learn more and more so I eventually saved up and purchased more David Deangelo products. I was learning more and more. You see in all of his material David does not just talk about how to become better at the game and memorize new pickup lines. He drills the importance of becoming a better man. A man who has more value in society because he has begun a self improvement journey. So with this knowledge i started reading books on his recommended reading list. (I purchased most of my books from Amazon, they are the cheapest on the net and they offer free shipping in the US. Get the Amazon credit card! you save $30 instantly and they send you out these $25 gift certificates every couple months once you get enough points. Well worth it and it’s Free! ) Lets not forget the book “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists” (Neil Strauss) This book is like the Game bible for every player, PUA, and seduction guru. It’s a must read even though it’s more of a story then a reference to learn the game from. For more info read my post bellow on this book.

My Recommended Reading List.
The books under self-improvement are great for any player who wants to improve as a man and get his inner game together. Forget about learning fancy smooth pickup lines, NLP, Hypnosis, Magic Tricks, and Peacocking.

While on this journey i have come to find that getting your inner game together (improving yourself as a man) will work much more in your favor to help with your success with woman in the long run. All the canned openers, pickup lines and routines i learned are great and i still use some of them. They can also hurt you more then you know if you don’t understand how to have natural game. This is why i say, practice and study these books and products on the right on natural game. Which is really just being your best self. You might need to still develop yourself into a better man that the woman of your dreams will find attractive. Thats OK. Once you start getting these things handled you will see. People will just give you things. Woman, friends, jobs, and opportunities will fall into your lap. This is really the law of attraction at work here. Once you get your inner game handled you will get everything you want in life without trying to pretend, and fake it.

You see while all these pickup lines, different methods, strategies & routines, NLP and magic might work great for the time being. I have found that eventually you will get burnt once the woman you used this on finds out who you really are. You can only pretend, and say scripted openers, stories and routines so long. Trust me gentlemen on this…. I have lost some very beautiful high quality woman b/c of this. Don’t do it!!!
Learn the natural inner game methods first.

If you Like this find more at

Why Feeling Beautiful Does Matter to Your Personal Growth

Where Is Your Self-Respect? You Don’t Get Women Without It!

Relationship Advice for Men: Speak Up and Be Heard

5 Ways to Get the Respect, Love and Attention You’re Craving

Getting Closer in Your Relationships Starts with You

Judgment – A Thing Your Relationship Could Do WITHOUT

 4 Things That You Can’t and Can Do If You’re Not Getting What You Want From Your Relationships

3 Ways to Really Help When Someone You Care About is Having a Meltdown

3 Reasons Why Your Personal Growth Can Make or Break Your Love Relationship or Marriage

“Living The Dream”

 Women Jumping In The Air (For No Reason At All)

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1605542640) } [8]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-8729673613239891843" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 09 Nov 2020 16:02:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-11-09T08:02:56.636-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(37) "Do Nice Guys Get the Girl in the End?" ["description"]=> string(17021) "

 


Why do people eat at McDonald’s on a consistent basis when they know it is unhealthy?

Why do people smoke cigarettes knowing they are drastically increasing their risk of all kinds of deadly diseases?

Why do people drink beer to excess knowing they will have a horrible hangover the next day?

And why do married, powerful men hire hookers when they know the consequences of getting caught can be the destruction of their careers?

The answer to each one of these is simple: because it feels good in the moment. McDonald’s tastes good in the moment, cigarettes feel good in the moment, beer gives you a pleasant buzz in the moment, and hookers make them feel good in the moment in a way wives can’t or won’t.

There’s rarely any great emotional angst behind these decisions, despite what TV psychoanalysts would have you believe. Frank Gifford didn’t cheat on Kathy Lee because of some deep seated, long ago resentment for his mother—he did it because a pair of 42 DD’s was waved in his face, and 42 DD feel good. Really good.

Why Do Women Go After Bad Boys And Dysfunctional Guys?

Because by their behavior they make them feel good in the moment, creating that narcotic high of chemistry. Nice guys don’t do that, so women are not attracted to them.

Now, a lot of the stuff I just mentioned can have long term consequences, and it is not out of the realm of possibility to use self imposed discipline to avoid these things.

However, it is important to understand that people make decisions in the moment and for the long term simply because someone or something made them feel it (the whole marriage industry is based on this). So, what you want to do is be the guy who makes people, especially women, feel good in the moment.

If you’re the guy who makes people laugh, always has a funny story to tell, you’re genuinely interested in them, and you’ve mastered behavior that makes women feel chemistry, people will want to be around you.

When people want to be around you, good things come your way. More people want to hang around you, and the right people can bring you opportunity, and are happy to if you make them feel good.

When you make women feel good, you’re always their first choice because so many men make so many women feel so bad. Don’t overcomplicate this very important aspect of persuasion and influence: make people feel good in the moment, and they’ll make good decisions regarding you.

Read More:

Are You Living Life Positively or Negatively?

Are You Treating the Women in Your Life Like Your First Sportsbike?

5 Ways to Pick up Girls at the Gym

Whats Your Sign?

No Idea What To Put Here…”

We See Your Ex-girlfriend in Your Dating Profile

The Dating Profile Cliche of Knight in Shining Armor

The Meaning Of The Flowers You Send To Those You Love

What Does I am Down-To-Earth Cliche Really Mean?

Looking For My Soulmate

Dating Profile Cliche : I Like Long Walks on the Beach

The Problem With Online Dating : Too Many Options

In Online Dating Your Phone Number Means Very Little

" ["link"]=> string(77) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/11/do-nice-guys-get-girl-in-end.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(17021) "

 


Why do people eat at McDonald’s on a consistent basis when they know it is unhealthy?

Why do people smoke cigarettes knowing they are drastically increasing their risk of all kinds of deadly diseases?

Why do people drink beer to excess knowing they will have a horrible hangover the next day?

And why do married, powerful men hire hookers when they know the consequences of getting caught can be the destruction of their careers?

The answer to each one of these is simple: because it feels good in the moment. McDonald’s tastes good in the moment, cigarettes feel good in the moment, beer gives you a pleasant buzz in the moment, and hookers make them feel good in the moment in a way wives can’t or won’t.

There’s rarely any great emotional angst behind these decisions, despite what TV psychoanalysts would have you believe. Frank Gifford didn’t cheat on Kathy Lee because of some deep seated, long ago resentment for his mother—he did it because a pair of 42 DD’s was waved in his face, and 42 DD feel good. Really good.

Why Do Women Go After Bad Boys And Dysfunctional Guys?

Because by their behavior they make them feel good in the moment, creating that narcotic high of chemistry. Nice guys don’t do that, so women are not attracted to them.

Now, a lot of the stuff I just mentioned can have long term consequences, and it is not out of the realm of possibility to use self imposed discipline to avoid these things.

However, it is important to understand that people make decisions in the moment and for the long term simply because someone or something made them feel it (the whole marriage industry is based on this). So, what you want to do is be the guy who makes people, especially women, feel good in the moment.

If you’re the guy who makes people laugh, always has a funny story to tell, you’re genuinely interested in them, and you’ve mastered behavior that makes women feel chemistry, people will want to be around you.

When people want to be around you, good things come your way. More people want to hang around you, and the right people can bring you opportunity, and are happy to if you make them feel good.

When you make women feel good, you’re always their first choice because so many men make so many women feel so bad. Don’t overcomplicate this very important aspect of persuasion and influence: make people feel good in the moment, and they’ll make good decisions regarding you.

Read More:

Are You Living Life Positively or Negatively?

Are You Treating the Women in Your Life Like Your First Sportsbike?

5 Ways to Pick up Girls at the Gym

Whats Your Sign?

No Idea What To Put Here…”

We See Your Ex-girlfriend in Your Dating Profile

The Dating Profile Cliche of Knight in Shining Armor

The Meaning Of The Flowers You Send To Those You Love

What Does I am Down-To-Earth Cliche Really Mean?

Looking For My Soulmate

Dating Profile Cliche : I Like Long Walks on the Beach

The Problem With Online Dating : Too Many Options

In Online Dating Your Phone Number Means Very Little

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1604937720) } [9]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-5678505116767702373" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 08 Oct 2020 15:12:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-10-08T08:12:20.197-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(50) "Stop being an option, but his priority number ONE." ["description"]=> string(9462) "


A friend of mine, tweeted this yesterday: “If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, [you] will miss finding someone who treats you like a priority.”

It was so on point that I told him I had to write about it. A simple concept, but time and time again I see many of my friends settling for the role of “an option.”

The Twitter quote took me back about a year when I was sitting at lunch with one of my sister-friends. She is an awesome person, but has always felt “average.” In a city like NEW YORK that is full of exceptional people, it can be even more profound if you’ve always felt like someone in the middle. I get it! I think she’s wrong about herself, but still I understand. 

She’d been dating this guy for a year when we had our lunch last year. Dating is difficult everywhere. In New York City, multiply the level of difficulty times ten. So, my sister-friend was happy to be dating a man with a solid job, handsome enough, and with all of his teeth. Yes, it’s that hard in the “Big Apple.” With that said, I could sense that she wasn’t completely happy. 

“Where do you see the relationship going, started talking about marriage yet?” I asked. She shook her head, “No.” I asked if she even saw herself marrying him. “We’ve never discussed it. Every time I bring it up, he changes the subject and says not to push him,” she sadly replied. Red flag! First, her reaction to my question told me more than her words. Second, I truly believe that the great majority of men who’ve found their wife know within the first year and begin to discuss marriage pretty quickly.

I must have opened Her Box because she started spilling her frustrated guts. Basically, the guy was typically unresponsive to her and her needs. They’d stopped actually going out on dates about six months into the relationship. Now, she would cook for him, he’d come over, they’d have sex and he’d leave in the morning. And, he broke the cardinal rule (well, she let him). He would consistently call the day of and sometimes the evening of, when he wanted to “chill” with her.

“If someone is calling you the day of to make plans with you, rest-assured you are just an option,” I said. A year into the relationship this shouldn’t have been happening. If he couldn’t keep up the courting and romance for a year, then there was no hope for the future. And, if there’s no hope for the future, there was really no point. My sister-friend heard me, however, I could tell she didn’t hear me.

It made me sad because I could sense the fear and helplessness she felt. It was becoming that hard for an intelligent woman to find a man. And, for all intents and purposes, this guy was a “good man.” But, just because he was a “good man” didn’t mean he was good for her. Moreover, she clearly was not a priority in his life and there probably wasn’t anything she could do to change it. So, I told her to let him go.

“Easier said than done! As much as I want more, I definitely don’t want to be lonely every night. I want SOMEbody in my life," she explained. I retorted, “So, you’ll just settle for any ol’ thing to have SOMEbody?” I went on to explain that while she was settling for option status, there was a guy out there waiting to upgrade her. Sticking around with this guy because he was SOMEbody might just be blocking her from the man that was to be her true blessing.

My sister-friend continued to date the dude for a few more months. Fast forward to last week and we met to catch up and gossip. Plus, she had some great news for me – she was engaged. I knew she’d been dating a new guy who by all of our friends’ accounts was terrific. “You were a hundred percent correct! I was so desperate for a man that I’d allowed myself to take a back seat position.” And, she went on to describe the difference with her fiancé. He made her a priority in every sense of the word. She was completely happy and excited.

We’ve all been there... dating someone who you know is “just not that into you” and has not made you a priority in their life. Don’t let the difficulty of dating allow you to settle for less than you deserve. No matter who you are, we deserve to be in the pole position in our lover’s life. Wasting your time on someone who does not put you in that place may be getting in the way of you finding someone who will. Just say to yourself, I deserve to be a priority, not an option!

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Have You Become His All-You-Can-Eat Buffet?

Forgiveness In Relationships

" ["link"]=> string(83) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/10/stop-being-option-but-his-priority.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(9462) "


A friend of mine, tweeted this yesterday: “If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, [you] will miss finding someone who treats you like a priority.”

It was so on point that I told him I had to write about it. A simple concept, but time and time again I see many of my friends settling for the role of “an option.”

The Twitter quote took me back about a year when I was sitting at lunch with one of my sister-friends. She is an awesome person, but has always felt “average.” In a city like NEW YORK that is full of exceptional people, it can be even more profound if you’ve always felt like someone in the middle. I get it! I think she’s wrong about herself, but still I understand. 

She’d been dating this guy for a year when we had our lunch last year. Dating is difficult everywhere. In New York City, multiply the level of difficulty times ten. So, my sister-friend was happy to be dating a man with a solid job, handsome enough, and with all of his teeth. Yes, it’s that hard in the “Big Apple.” With that said, I could sense that she wasn’t completely happy. 

“Where do you see the relationship going, started talking about marriage yet?” I asked. She shook her head, “No.” I asked if she even saw herself marrying him. “We’ve never discussed it. Every time I bring it up, he changes the subject and says not to push him,” she sadly replied. Red flag! First, her reaction to my question told me more than her words. Second, I truly believe that the great majority of men who’ve found their wife know within the first year and begin to discuss marriage pretty quickly.

I must have opened Her Box because she started spilling her frustrated guts. Basically, the guy was typically unresponsive to her and her needs. They’d stopped actually going out on dates about six months into the relationship. Now, she would cook for him, he’d come over, they’d have sex and he’d leave in the morning. And, he broke the cardinal rule (well, she let him). He would consistently call the day of and sometimes the evening of, when he wanted to “chill” with her.

“If someone is calling you the day of to make plans with you, rest-assured you are just an option,” I said. A year into the relationship this shouldn’t have been happening. If he couldn’t keep up the courting and romance for a year, then there was no hope for the future. And, if there’s no hope for the future, there was really no point. My sister-friend heard me, however, I could tell she didn’t hear me.

It made me sad because I could sense the fear and helplessness she felt. It was becoming that hard for an intelligent woman to find a man. And, for all intents and purposes, this guy was a “good man.” But, just because he was a “good man” didn’t mean he was good for her. Moreover, she clearly was not a priority in his life and there probably wasn’t anything she could do to change it. So, I told her to let him go.

“Easier said than done! As much as I want more, I definitely don’t want to be lonely every night. I want SOMEbody in my life," she explained. I retorted, “So, you’ll just settle for any ol’ thing to have SOMEbody?” I went on to explain that while she was settling for option status, there was a guy out there waiting to upgrade her. Sticking around with this guy because he was SOMEbody might just be blocking her from the man that was to be her true blessing.

My sister-friend continued to date the dude for a few more months. Fast forward to last week and we met to catch up and gossip. Plus, she had some great news for me – she was engaged. I knew she’d been dating a new guy who by all of our friends’ accounts was terrific. “You were a hundred percent correct! I was so desperate for a man that I’d allowed myself to take a back seat position.” And, she went on to describe the difference with her fiancé. He made her a priority in every sense of the word. She was completely happy and excited.

We’ve all been there... dating someone who you know is “just not that into you” and has not made you a priority in their life. Don’t let the difficulty of dating allow you to settle for less than you deserve. No matter who you are, we deserve to be in the pole position in our lover’s life. Wasting your time on someone who does not put you in that place may be getting in the way of you finding someone who will. Just say to yourself, I deserve to be a priority, not an option!

 First Date: Taboo Topics You Should NOT Discuss

Are you dating a cheater?

9 Dating Tips to Make Them Work

Kim Kardashian’s Divorce: 16 Love Lessons Learned

Top 11 Dating Tips for 2022

Speed Dating Tips in Padova

Is Online Dating More Effective Than Traditional Dating in Padova?

Independence, It’s More Than Just A Day, It’s A Way Of Life

Love After 60, The Lube Of Life

Have You Become His All-You-Can-Eat Buffet?

Forgiveness In Relationships

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1602169920) } [10]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-8174236319486578905" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 07 Oct 2020 14:53:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-10-07T07:53:08.275-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(25) "Who's That Man In My Bed?" ["description"]=> string(19491) "

 


You know that feeling when someone you're close with takes off their glasses in front of you for the first time and you are stunned, thinking "Holy crap. Is THAT what you look like?" Well, that's the sensation I had when Wine Guy showed up at my door not long ago with his goatee shaved off.

I think Wine Guy is adorable. Goatee or no goatee, thin or tubby, glasses or no glasses. I'm not sure what other people think about his looks objectively, and I don't really care. When I look at him I see a man of quality who I'm lucky to have. So if he puts on some weight or gets more gray hair, I may not be thrilled, but I don't squeeze him any less tight.

That being said, I was shocked when I opened my door to see his clean-shaven face. All of a sudden I saw him. I instantly realized that I've always known him as Wine Guy, my boyfriend with the goatee and glasses. And yes, he is an overly intellectual, slightly nerdy-but-hip computer guy, so "the look" he had unintentionally cultivated seemed right out of Central Casting. Only, I didn't realize that I saw him as this "package" until that day.

He stood in my kitchen as I looked him over, clearly enjoying my sense of surprise. As I took in his face, I thought if I was going to LOOK at him, I wanted to see it all. "Take off your glasses," I commanded.

He did. I stared.

What a strange sensation to really see someone you thought you knew so well for the first time.

"So....that's what you look like. Huh."

I suspect at this point he was starting to grow concerned. What exactly was my reaction?

Even now, over two weeks since the shaving, I can't really say whether I like his looks better then or now. I guess I like them both for different reasons. He looks a bit younger now, not that he looked old before. His smooth cheeks are wonderful to kiss, but that stubble in the morning -- not so great. He has nothing to rub when he's thinking of what to say; now his fingers sort of graze his face, searching for a place to land. His glasses stand out more, for whatever that's worth.

What matters most is how he feels about his appearance. He was ambivalent about it until he went on a work trip last week to San Francisco. One night when we were catching up on each other's days, he shared this with me, "Well, I definitely get more attention from women since I shaved my goatee. I think I'm keeping it."

Wine Guy has never been the "player" type. From what he's told me about his past, he's never had that sensation of walking in to a room and just knowing the girls are all scoping him out. So him saying this and innocently meaning it was, believe it or not, a terribly sweet moment. I was so happy for him that he felt handsome. Just the way I saw him.

So I replied, "Well then keep it off." And so far he has.

Besides considering all the chicks who will now undoubtedly be hitting on my boyfriend, I can at least say that I know what the man in my bed actually looks like.

A Woman’s CHOICE: DV And Rape

Being In A Relationship Has Made Me Feel More Self-Conscious About My Body Image Than Ever

5 Turn-offs For Men

Stop being an option, but his priority number ONE.

Low Self Esteem: 19 Signs of Low Self Esteem

How to Make an Online Dating Profile That Gets Winks

Why Being a Single Woman Is Overrated

Why ‘Friends With Benefits’ Never Works

How to Be Confident and Feel More Attractive!

When to Break Up For Good

4 Quick and Easy Ways to Make Any Man Fall in Love

Women 101: What Men Want to Know About Women

5 Things that Stand in the Way of Finding True Love

Why Digging Thru a Lover’s Little Black Book is a TERRIBLE Idea

The Secret to Defeating Jealous Women that C*Block

Why Happy Couple Posing Only Fools YOU

Biggest Mistakes Cuban Women Make When Dating

How to Identify a Compatible Partner That is RIGHT for You

Can We All Get An A-Man?

5 Easy Ways to Get Out of the Single Slump

Switch up the Look!

Approaching Women: How Men Creep Women Out

Top 10 Best Online Dating Tips for Success

" ["link"]=> string(72) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/10/whos-that-man-in-my-bed.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(19491) "

 


You know that feeling when someone you're close with takes off their glasses in front of you for the first time and you are stunned, thinking "Holy crap. Is THAT what you look like?" Well, that's the sensation I had when Wine Guy showed up at my door not long ago with his goatee shaved off.

I think Wine Guy is adorable. Goatee or no goatee, thin or tubby, glasses or no glasses. I'm not sure what other people think about his looks objectively, and I don't really care. When I look at him I see a man of quality who I'm lucky to have. So if he puts on some weight or gets more gray hair, I may not be thrilled, but I don't squeeze him any less tight.

That being said, I was shocked when I opened my door to see his clean-shaven face. All of a sudden I saw him. I instantly realized that I've always known him as Wine Guy, my boyfriend with the goatee and glasses. And yes, he is an overly intellectual, slightly nerdy-but-hip computer guy, so "the look" he had unintentionally cultivated seemed right out of Central Casting. Only, I didn't realize that I saw him as this "package" until that day.

He stood in my kitchen as I looked him over, clearly enjoying my sense of surprise. As I took in his face, I thought if I was going to LOOK at him, I wanted to see it all. "Take off your glasses," I commanded.

He did. I stared.

What a strange sensation to really see someone you thought you knew so well for the first time.

"So....that's what you look like. Huh."

I suspect at this point he was starting to grow concerned. What exactly was my reaction?

Even now, over two weeks since the shaving, I can't really say whether I like his looks better then or now. I guess I like them both for different reasons. He looks a bit younger now, not that he looked old before. His smooth cheeks are wonderful to kiss, but that stubble in the morning -- not so great. He has nothing to rub when he's thinking of what to say; now his fingers sort of graze his face, searching for a place to land. His glasses stand out more, for whatever that's worth.

What matters most is how he feels about his appearance. He was ambivalent about it until he went on a work trip last week to San Francisco. One night when we were catching up on each other's days, he shared this with me, "Well, I definitely get more attention from women since I shaved my goatee. I think I'm keeping it."

Wine Guy has never been the "player" type. From what he's told me about his past, he's never had that sensation of walking in to a room and just knowing the girls are all scoping him out. So him saying this and innocently meaning it was, believe it or not, a terribly sweet moment. I was so happy for him that he felt handsome. Just the way I saw him.

So I replied, "Well then keep it off." And so far he has.

Besides considering all the chicks who will now undoubtedly be hitting on my boyfriend, I can at least say that I know what the man in my bed actually looks like.

A Woman’s CHOICE: DV And Rape

Being In A Relationship Has Made Me Feel More Self-Conscious About My Body Image Than Ever

5 Turn-offs For Men

Stop being an option, but his priority number ONE.

Low Self Esteem: 19 Signs of Low Self Esteem

How to Make an Online Dating Profile That Gets Winks

Why Being a Single Woman Is Overrated

Why ‘Friends With Benefits’ Never Works

How to Be Confident and Feel More Attractive!

When to Break Up For Good

4 Quick and Easy Ways to Make Any Man Fall in Love

Women 101: What Men Want to Know About Women

5 Things that Stand in the Way of Finding True Love

Why Digging Thru a Lover’s Little Black Book is a TERRIBLE Idea

The Secret to Defeating Jealous Women that C*Block

Why Happy Couple Posing Only Fools YOU

Biggest Mistakes Cuban Women Make When Dating

How to Identify a Compatible Partner That is RIGHT for You

Can We All Get An A-Man?

5 Easy Ways to Get Out of the Single Slump

Switch up the Look!

Approaching Women: How Men Creep Women Out

Top 10 Best Online Dating Tips for Success

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1602082380) } [11]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-3129258062957327687" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 29 Sep 2020 14:00:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-29T07:00:47.278-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(38) "Does Your Relationship Have DIRECTION?" ["description"]=> string(25420) "

 


“Why can’t we take things one day at a time?” , “We’ll see how things go and handle it when it comes.” , “Let’s just live in the moment.” . Heard of these sentences before in your relationship? Perhaps even from yourself? If yes, you’re in well.. quite some trouble. These sentences are sorry excuses for not taking responsibility in a relationship, to not bother about the future at all and simply to take things one day at a time. And like every important decision  in your life, without proper planning, a relationship would never work out.

 

The Definition Of A Proper Relationship

Do you know what i consider a proper relationship? It’s one that considers the future and sets an ultimate goal to achieve at the end of a certain period of time. Usually it’s marriage, since that’s what “forever and ever” essentially means. Sometimes it’s to save enough for a house. You get what i mean – 
A long term goal to aim for in a relationship. Trust me on this, the feeling of waking up every morning knowing your relationship has a proper direction and not floating in uncertainty is a wonderful feeling, really. To know that you both have a common goal to aim towards in your relationship gives you so much security and assurance that a floating directionless relationship doesn’t offer.

So How Now Brown Cow?

 

Simple, if you haven’t had a discussion on where your relationship with your loved one is heading, i highly recommend you do so today. Check if both of you are aiming for the same goal, if you’re looking for a relationship that leads to marriage, you certainly want to avoid a partner whose goal in the relationship is for it to be a one time off fling. A relationship is only considered a proper one when there’s direction in it, not just all the loveydovey feelings you feel.

Remember, the proper partner for your relationship is not just the hottest guy or girl you can get your hands on, but the one who has the same goals and aims in a relationship as you too.

Best of luck in finding that special someone (:

The Trick To Executing Funny One Liners

Ever wonder how some people seem to be able to pull out crazy one liners that leave everyone rolling on the floor laughing so hard you wonder if they’re in a spasm? Or a brilliantly stunning response that leave everyone staring in awe and wondering if he had it all planned out from the beginning? Well, it so happens that i read this brilliant book (not the one i’m holding in the picture) on the secrets of all charismatic people and how they manage to entertain everyone they’re with, and here’s what they revealed to me..

The Little Notebook Of Knowledge

Okay, it may not look like one, but that’s what i would like to call the notebook i’m holding in the picture. It’s this little notebook i carry wherever i go (thus the small size) and take down every single witty or hilarious sentences/responses i hear. From clever little insults like, “I’ve had a wonderful evening my dear, but this wasn’t it” to witty hilarious advice i give people like “Hey team, when all else fails, we’ll just lower our standards”. Heh (:

It’s all these little notes that i read and re-read through out the day and get it etched into my memory, which allows me to pull it out when the situation presents itself and make a killing, so to speak. This definitely helps me with coming out with cool one liners or funny responses to the stuff life throws at me. It may not come about that often, but that’s what the empty pages of the book is for – to take down more and more witty stuff you hear day by day. (:

Comedies FTW

Here’s another little piece of advice – watch comedies, they have a person writing a script that cracks his brain for hours thinking of cool/funny responses for the various actors and to be honest, i get most of my quotes from there. Here are 2 examples i’ve collected just to show you what i mean (:

1)

-I examine another guy’s hair whom i think is really mean-

Guy : What are you doing?

Me : Huh.. i was just wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don’t show

2)

(On how to start a conversation)

Me : Hey i made tea.

Guy : I don’t want it.

Me : I didn’t make it for you.

Guy : Then why did you tell me?!

Me : Conversation starter.

Guy : That’s lousy.

Me : Well, we’re conversing, so.. check mate. 

There you go, two little examples out of the hundreds i have in my little book of knowledge.

Go Get Started!

Yes, go get a notebook from your local store, i urge you to get a nice little compact one though as firstly, you want to be able to carry it around conveniently wherever you go, and secondly, it’s going to stick with you for life, so you’d want a nice looking notebook, not an eyesore notebook. (:

Godspeed on your quest to knocking people out with your witty one liners!

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" ["link"]=> string(85) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/does-your-relationship-havedirection.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(25420) "

 


“Why can’t we take things one day at a time?” , “We’ll see how things go and handle it when it comes.” , “Let’s just live in the moment.” . Heard of these sentences before in your relationship? Perhaps even from yourself? If yes, you’re in well.. quite some trouble. These sentences are sorry excuses for not taking responsibility in a relationship, to not bother about the future at all and simply to take things one day at a time. And like every important decision  in your life, without proper planning, a relationship would never work out.

 

The Definition Of A Proper Relationship

Do you know what i consider a proper relationship? It’s one that considers the future and sets an ultimate goal to achieve at the end of a certain period of time. Usually it’s marriage, since that’s what “forever and ever” essentially means. Sometimes it’s to save enough for a house. You get what i mean – 
A long term goal to aim for in a relationship. Trust me on this, the feeling of waking up every morning knowing your relationship has a proper direction and not floating in uncertainty is a wonderful feeling, really. To know that you both have a common goal to aim towards in your relationship gives you so much security and assurance that a floating directionless relationship doesn’t offer.

So How Now Brown Cow?

 

Simple, if you haven’t had a discussion on where your relationship with your loved one is heading, i highly recommend you do so today. Check if both of you are aiming for the same goal, if you’re looking for a relationship that leads to marriage, you certainly want to avoid a partner whose goal in the relationship is for it to be a one time off fling. A relationship is only considered a proper one when there’s direction in it, not just all the loveydovey feelings you feel.

Remember, the proper partner for your relationship is not just the hottest guy or girl you can get your hands on, but the one who has the same goals and aims in a relationship as you too.

Best of luck in finding that special someone (:

The Trick To Executing Funny One Liners

Ever wonder how some people seem to be able to pull out crazy one liners that leave everyone rolling on the floor laughing so hard you wonder if they’re in a spasm? Or a brilliantly stunning response that leave everyone staring in awe and wondering if he had it all planned out from the beginning? Well, it so happens that i read this brilliant book (not the one i’m holding in the picture) on the secrets of all charismatic people and how they manage to entertain everyone they’re with, and here’s what they revealed to me..

The Little Notebook Of Knowledge

Okay, it may not look like one, but that’s what i would like to call the notebook i’m holding in the picture. It’s this little notebook i carry wherever i go (thus the small size) and take down every single witty or hilarious sentences/responses i hear. From clever little insults like, “I’ve had a wonderful evening my dear, but this wasn’t it” to witty hilarious advice i give people like “Hey team, when all else fails, we’ll just lower our standards”. Heh (:

It’s all these little notes that i read and re-read through out the day and get it etched into my memory, which allows me to pull it out when the situation presents itself and make a killing, so to speak. This definitely helps me with coming out with cool one liners or funny responses to the stuff life throws at me. It may not come about that often, but that’s what the empty pages of the book is for – to take down more and more witty stuff you hear day by day. (:

Comedies FTW

Here’s another little piece of advice – watch comedies, they have a person writing a script that cracks his brain for hours thinking of cool/funny responses for the various actors and to be honest, i get most of my quotes from there. Here are 2 examples i’ve collected just to show you what i mean (:

1)

-I examine another guy’s hair whom i think is really mean-

Guy : What are you doing?

Me : Huh.. i was just wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don’t show

2)

(On how to start a conversation)

Me : Hey i made tea.

Guy : I don’t want it.

Me : I didn’t make it for you.

Guy : Then why did you tell me?!

Me : Conversation starter.

Guy : That’s lousy.

Me : Well, we’re conversing, so.. check mate. 

There you go, two little examples out of the hundreds i have in my little book of knowledge.

Go Get Started!

Yes, go get a notebook from your local store, i urge you to get a nice little compact one though as firstly, you want to be able to carry it around conveniently wherever you go, and secondly, it’s going to stick with you for life, so you’d want a nice looking notebook, not an eyesore notebook. (:

Godspeed on your quest to knocking people out with your witty one liners!

 Chat With Charlotte men

Chat With El Paso men

Chat With Buffalo men

Chat With St Louis men

Chat With Fort Lauderdale men

Chat With Indianapolis men

Chat With Colorado Springs men

Chat With Minneapolis men

Chat With Washington men

Chat With Louisville men

Chat With Queens men

Chat With Jacksonville men

Chat With Tulsa men


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1601388000) } [12]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-6821067281315671142" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 24 Sep 2020 16:15:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-24T09:15:25.350-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(25) "How To Be The Perfect Guy" ["description"]=> string(13466) "

 

So, how exactly do you be the perfect guy that every girl wants? It’s a question i believe most of you are wanting to ask. What exactly makes up this perfect lover? This object of every women’s desire? Well, given my fair amount of knowledge on the wants and don’t-wants of women, i can come up with a list i’m fairly certain would cover most women’s wants and don’t-wants. For today, i shall list a couple of the wants.

Wants

this is fairly obvious i believe, don’t believe it when women say beauty is only skin deep as let’s face it, it’s not. There are only a handful of ugly hollywood stars out there, and that’s mainly because they need someone to act the villain. So if you haven’t brushed your hair or washed your face in ages, do so soon. Women like fresh faces, lose the beard or the moustache and if possible, get a neat hair cut.

Good physique – don’t believe it when women say fat/obese/chubby guys are cute and huggable, what women really want to hug it those lean mean bodies. Look at the world out there, the football team guys gets the girls while the chess team players (no offense to anyone reading this) gets the.. plastic queen figurine. Start working out soon, i’ll perhaps write a chapter on the most effective workout i’ve seen and used to great effect in my future articles. The bigger your arms the better (of course not obscenely big) as more often than not, all women can see are your arms, unless they have x-ray vision then perhaps they can see what lies beneath your shirt. edit: recent entry on The Perfect Male Body, check it out here : Rule #10 : So What Exactly Is The Perfect Male Body.

Charisma – not everybody is born with this, this can involve sweet talking, an aura of confidence or anything else that makes them want you more than your looks already do. There are a lot of books on being charismatic, on projecting confidence or talking your way into a women’s heart. Check out this article on How To Be Charismatic & Universally Attractive Qualities to build up on this point. (:

Status – sure you all have heard of ‘survival of the fittest’, but in our current era, the tables have been turned slightly to being ‘survival of the smartest’. Women like men who hold high ranking status, don’t worry if you’re not en-route to being a doctor or a lawyer, the form of status can come in many ways, from being the soccer captain to the classroom prefect and to the group leader. There are many ways to attain good status positions wherever you are. The same way in the animal kingdom the female looks for the most dominant male to court, so does the women in our world look for the man sitting on the highest horse.

  Proper Dress Sense – here are a couple of tips for dressing up. Women don’t like baggy clothes, no matter how comfortable they are to you. It gives you a look of shabbiness. Women like the professional look, not so much as the power suit and tie all the time, but well fitted clothes preferably showing off some of your body cuttings (which is why you need to get fit soon if you’re not already). However, don’t overdo it (recall Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother who wears a suit even to sleep). The perfect example of dressing well would probably be Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl.

Talk AND Listen – women hate awkward silences, which is why it’s an absolutely necessary skill to learn how to talk about anything and everything. However, remember not to talk too much and not listen at all, be sure to make the conversation a two way exchange, as much as women hate awkward silences and love to hear you talk, they also love to have their opinions heard or at least asked about.

The Bad Boy Image – something about this image that makes women absolutely drool (once again, recall Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl). I believe inside every calm women’s exterior lies a wildness simply being supressed. However, due to conventionalism, they’re more inclined to choosing the stable good boy image. This, however, is something i believe you can take full advantage of, simply by having a bad boy image with a good boy status. This can be in the form of having a slightly wild or bad boy look but with a good boy’s reputation, this way, you satisfy both sides of a women’s desires, automatically putting you head and shoulders above the other guys who stick to only one image.

  I shall round off the list here for today. Right now, I believe those are a few of the things that most women want to see in men. Unsure of how to achieve such qualities? Fear not, as i shall explain in my future articles addressing each and every one of these issues. Don’t forget to follow this blog so you won’t miss the next update! Have anything to add? Or perhaps you disagree with something said above? Then comment below and we’ll discuss! I read through every comment and even a short anonymous comment would go a long way to helping improve this blog post. (:

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" ["link"]=> string(70) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/how-to-be-perfect-guy.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(13466) "

 

So, how exactly do you be the perfect guy that every girl wants? It’s a question i believe most of you are wanting to ask. What exactly makes up this perfect lover? This object of every women’s desire? Well, given my fair amount of knowledge on the wants and don’t-wants of women, i can come up with a list i’m fairly certain would cover most women’s wants and don’t-wants. For today, i shall list a couple of the wants.

Wants

this is fairly obvious i believe, don’t believe it when women say beauty is only skin deep as let’s face it, it’s not. There are only a handful of ugly hollywood stars out there, and that’s mainly because they need someone to act the villain. So if you haven’t brushed your hair or washed your face in ages, do so soon. Women like fresh faces, lose the beard or the moustache and if possible, get a neat hair cut.

Good physique – don’t believe it when women say fat/obese/chubby guys are cute and huggable, what women really want to hug it those lean mean bodies. Look at the world out there, the football team guys gets the girls while the chess team players (no offense to anyone reading this) gets the.. plastic queen figurine. Start working out soon, i’ll perhaps write a chapter on the most effective workout i’ve seen and used to great effect in my future articles. The bigger your arms the better (of course not obscenely big) as more often than not, all women can see are your arms, unless they have x-ray vision then perhaps they can see what lies beneath your shirt. edit: recent entry on The Perfect Male Body, check it out here : Rule #10 : So What Exactly Is The Perfect Male Body.

Charisma – not everybody is born with this, this can involve sweet talking, an aura of confidence or anything else that makes them want you more than your looks already do. There are a lot of books on being charismatic, on projecting confidence or talking your way into a women’s heart. Check out this article on How To Be Charismatic & Universally Attractive Qualities to build up on this point. (:

Status – sure you all have heard of ‘survival of the fittest’, but in our current era, the tables have been turned slightly to being ‘survival of the smartest’. Women like men who hold high ranking status, don’t worry if you’re not en-route to being a doctor or a lawyer, the form of status can come in many ways, from being the soccer captain to the classroom prefect and to the group leader. There are many ways to attain good status positions wherever you are. The same way in the animal kingdom the female looks for the most dominant male to court, so does the women in our world look for the man sitting on the highest horse.

  Proper Dress Sense – here are a couple of tips for dressing up. Women don’t like baggy clothes, no matter how comfortable they are to you. It gives you a look of shabbiness. Women like the professional look, not so much as the power suit and tie all the time, but well fitted clothes preferably showing off some of your body cuttings (which is why you need to get fit soon if you’re not already). However, don’t overdo it (recall Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother who wears a suit even to sleep). The perfect example of dressing well would probably be Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl.

Talk AND Listen – women hate awkward silences, which is why it’s an absolutely necessary skill to learn how to talk about anything and everything. However, remember not to talk too much and not listen at all, be sure to make the conversation a two way exchange, as much as women hate awkward silences and love to hear you talk, they also love to have their opinions heard or at least asked about.

The Bad Boy Image – something about this image that makes women absolutely drool (once again, recall Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl). I believe inside every calm women’s exterior lies a wildness simply being supressed. However, due to conventionalism, they’re more inclined to choosing the stable good boy image. This, however, is something i believe you can take full advantage of, simply by having a bad boy image with a good boy status. This can be in the form of having a slightly wild or bad boy look but with a good boy’s reputation, this way, you satisfy both sides of a women’s desires, automatically putting you head and shoulders above the other guys who stick to only one image.

  I shall round off the list here for today. Right now, I believe those are a few of the things that most women want to see in men. Unsure of how to achieve such qualities? Fear not, as i shall explain in my future articles addressing each and every one of these issues. Don’t forget to follow this blog so you won’t miss the next update! Have anything to add? Or perhaps you disagree with something said above? Then comment below and we’ll discuss! I read through every comment and even a short anonymous comment would go a long way to helping improve this blog post. (:

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One definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over – and expect different results.

That applies to anyone who has found relationships are nightmares, despite best efforts. There has to be something more to this ‘relationship’ business than 1) sticking up for your female rights or 2) being a doormat. It’s that balance thing: I don’t want to manage a man or resent him for who he is because I don’t want to be managed or resented for who I am. I don’t want to bully to prove anything – if I have anything left to prove. But one thing a lot of women forget – and I say this because I have forgotten it many times – is that what we accuse men of also applies to us.

This is a case of ‘what you say is what you are’: am I so insecure that I have to ram my opinions down his throat? Am I so weak that I can’t listen to him? Am I so brutal that I have to treat him like an animal? I find myself, surprised and horrified, returning to words like respect, honor and grace. These are the LAST words I want to use but I find myself using them, and finding strength and wisdom that I think I can actually use.

The upcoming book “Be Nice To Men” is an analysis how women self-sabotage by being self-righteous, shrill, passive-aggressive and drama-loving. Women are not the troublemakers. Rather, they need to look at possible ‘home truths’ that are tripping them up. I mean, if I had a sign on my back that said, “Kick me”, I would want to know.

1)    He’s not you: don’t blame men because they don’t think the way you do. (I know – why do they think like idiots? Let it go.)

2)    You can’t change someone: you can only (within reason) change yourself.

3)    Love is that thing in Corinthians: love means tolerance, bearing all things, etc. This is not that you love him when he’s good and resent him when he isn’t.

4)    It takes TWO to hold a relationship together: if you are doing the work for both of you, you’re perpetuating the problem and hurting yourself.

5)    How many of your problems are ‘his fault’?

6)    What’s the love you have if the relationship isn’t easy? Could it be you are in love with drama, being a victim and having your life ‘stopped’ by a man? Are you making him an excuse for not living the life you want?

7)    Do you feel sorry for yourself because of what he does?

8)    Are you clear about the purpose of this relationship? For example, are you with him because he’s the father of your child or co-owns your house?

9)    Does he listen to you? Do you listen to him (and know when to shut up)? Men do not have a long attention span, as I am sure you’ve noticed, unless it involves things they like.

10) Can you spot your own hypocrisy? It’s okay if you phone him when he’s out with friends, but if he does, it’s war?

Does this list make you mad? Good. Look at the it as if it were applied to a man. The point of all this is to give women more power through self-awareness of how we could be sabotaging ourselves and blaming men for what is, yes, partly their fault but also partly ours. A good friend tells you when you’re going wrong: if you get mad with what she’s saying, could there be a little bit of truth that you don’t want to see?

Get mad, see it and be a better person.

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" ["link"]=> string(63) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/be-nice-to-men.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(10867) "

 


One definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over – and expect different results.

That applies to anyone who has found relationships are nightmares, despite best efforts. There has to be something more to this ‘relationship’ business than 1) sticking up for your female rights or 2) being a doormat. It’s that balance thing: I don’t want to manage a man or resent him for who he is because I don’t want to be managed or resented for who I am. I don’t want to bully to prove anything – if I have anything left to prove. But one thing a lot of women forget – and I say this because I have forgotten it many times – is that what we accuse men of also applies to us.

This is a case of ‘what you say is what you are’: am I so insecure that I have to ram my opinions down his throat? Am I so weak that I can’t listen to him? Am I so brutal that I have to treat him like an animal? I find myself, surprised and horrified, returning to words like respect, honor and grace. These are the LAST words I want to use but I find myself using them, and finding strength and wisdom that I think I can actually use.

The upcoming book “Be Nice To Men” is an analysis how women self-sabotage by being self-righteous, shrill, passive-aggressive and drama-loving. Women are not the troublemakers. Rather, they need to look at possible ‘home truths’ that are tripping them up. I mean, if I had a sign on my back that said, “Kick me”, I would want to know.

1)    He’s not you: don’t blame men because they don’t think the way you do. (I know – why do they think like idiots? Let it go.)

2)    You can’t change someone: you can only (within reason) change yourself.

3)    Love is that thing in Corinthians: love means tolerance, bearing all things, etc. This is not that you love him when he’s good and resent him when he isn’t.

4)    It takes TWO to hold a relationship together: if you are doing the work for both of you, you’re perpetuating the problem and hurting yourself.

5)    How many of your problems are ‘his fault’?

6)    What’s the love you have if the relationship isn’t easy? Could it be you are in love with drama, being a victim and having your life ‘stopped’ by a man? Are you making him an excuse for not living the life you want?

7)    Do you feel sorry for yourself because of what he does?

8)    Are you clear about the purpose of this relationship? For example, are you with him because he’s the father of your child or co-owns your house?

9)    Does he listen to you? Do you listen to him (and know when to shut up)? Men do not have a long attention span, as I am sure you’ve noticed, unless it involves things they like.

10) Can you spot your own hypocrisy? It’s okay if you phone him when he’s out with friends, but if he does, it’s war?

Does this list make you mad? Good. Look at the it as if it were applied to a man. The point of all this is to give women more power through self-awareness of how we could be sabotaging ourselves and blaming men for what is, yes, partly their fault but also partly ours. A good friend tells you when you’re going wrong: if you get mad with what she’s saying, could there be a little bit of truth that you don’t want to see?

Get mad, see it and be a better person.

Related Articles

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French Women Don’t Sleep Alone

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" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1600796520) } [14]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-7170336840978696777" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 17 Sep 2020 16:11:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-17T09:11:59.883-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(56) "Essential Tips For Developing A Prosperity Consciousness" ["description"]=> string(12326) "

 


A man is insensible to the relish of prosperity ’til he has tasted adversity. ~Sa’di (Musharrif-uddin)

How often do you think about prosperity?

For us goal-setters, we often think about progress and are obsessed with reaching the finish line of our dreams. I wonder, though, how often we think about the fruits we’ll gain along the way?

To consistently think of those fruits, you should develop a prospertiy consciousness. It’s not difficult to cultivate one. Like any thought process, it’s one that should be installed in your mind like new software. Once it’s downloaded, it needs regular maintenance to make sure the files are operating properly. And when you reach those goals, you might want to upgrade your software so that you’re prepared for new goals and new dreams.

THE FOUNDATION OF PROSPERITY

A mindset shift begins with a basic thought. A belief is only a thought you keep thinking, until your mind accepts that it’s true. To install a new thought, you repeat it consciously until it’s absorbed into your subconscious mind. This may seem over-simplistic but honestly it’s just that easy.

For example, did you know the US was in a financial recession before you heard about it on the news? Then this fact was repeated daily for months. Do you believe it now? If you hear that we’re out of a recession, would you easily believe it? What proof do you have that we’re in a recession? This fact is probably something that no one doubts by now.

You can install this same level of belief in your own dreams and prosperity by utilizing this same method.

MAINTAIN YOUR PROSPERITY SOFTWARE

Once you’ve developed the habit of repeating statements about prosperity to yourself (my post on autosuggestion explains how), most people stop there. Your mind will revert to it’s old beliefs as soon as you stop. There is reinforcement all around us that we are not prosperous – the news, fears articulated by our family and friends, and negative sayings such as “money is the root of all evil” and “money doesn’t grow on trees”. So you have to keep the reinforcement going.

When you start feeling prosperous, positive energy flowing through you, don’t let anything block that energy. I guard against the negative energy of others by refraining from negative conversations, by not watching the news, and from reminding myself that my goals are all my own – it doesn’t matter one bit what anyone else says or thinks about my dreams. My life and my aspirations are all my own and it’s totally up to me to reach them – no one else.

UPGRADE YOUR PROSPERITY SOFTWARE

It’s not enough to repeat thoughts of prosperity to yourself daily. Once your mind accepts that prosperity can be yours, and you’ve developed the habit of thinking those prosperous thoughts, it’s time to upgrade them. I do this by reading books and listening to audio that reinforces these thoughts. I find that there’s no reason to reinvent the wheel. The people that have gone before me and experienced a life of prosperity and abundance are the best teachers.

When you reach this level of consciousness, you’ll want to surround yourself with thoughts, ideas, conversations, and resources that reinforce the belief that prosperity can be yours. Here are a few suggested books:

What are the books and resources you like to read, to keep your mind focused on prosperity? I’m always adding new titles to my own library and I’d love to read some of your suggestions.


Enjoyed this post? Fill in the form below to subscribe, or click here to subscribe to my RSS feed.

American Single Women

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" ["link"]=> string(78) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/essential-tips-for-developing.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(12326) "

 


A man is insensible to the relish of prosperity ’til he has tasted adversity. ~Sa’di (Musharrif-uddin)

How often do you think about prosperity?

For us goal-setters, we often think about progress and are obsessed with reaching the finish line of our dreams. I wonder, though, how often we think about the fruits we’ll gain along the way?

To consistently think of those fruits, you should develop a prospertiy consciousness. It’s not difficult to cultivate one. Like any thought process, it’s one that should be installed in your mind like new software. Once it’s downloaded, it needs regular maintenance to make sure the files are operating properly. And when you reach those goals, you might want to upgrade your software so that you’re prepared for new goals and new dreams.

THE FOUNDATION OF PROSPERITY

A mindset shift begins with a basic thought. A belief is only a thought you keep thinking, until your mind accepts that it’s true. To install a new thought, you repeat it consciously until it’s absorbed into your subconscious mind. This may seem over-simplistic but honestly it’s just that easy.

For example, did you know the US was in a financial recession before you heard about it on the news? Then this fact was repeated daily for months. Do you believe it now? If you hear that we’re out of a recession, would you easily believe it? What proof do you have that we’re in a recession? This fact is probably something that no one doubts by now.

You can install this same level of belief in your own dreams and prosperity by utilizing this same method.

MAINTAIN YOUR PROSPERITY SOFTWARE

Once you’ve developed the habit of repeating statements about prosperity to yourself (my post on autosuggestion explains how), most people stop there. Your mind will revert to it’s old beliefs as soon as you stop. There is reinforcement all around us that we are not prosperous – the news, fears articulated by our family and friends, and negative sayings such as “money is the root of all evil” and “money doesn’t grow on trees”. So you have to keep the reinforcement going.

When you start feeling prosperous, positive energy flowing through you, don’t let anything block that energy. I guard against the negative energy of others by refraining from negative conversations, by not watching the news, and from reminding myself that my goals are all my own – it doesn’t matter one bit what anyone else says or thinks about my dreams. My life and my aspirations are all my own and it’s totally up to me to reach them – no one else.

UPGRADE YOUR PROSPERITY SOFTWARE

It’s not enough to repeat thoughts of prosperity to yourself daily. Once your mind accepts that prosperity can be yours, and you’ve developed the habit of thinking those prosperous thoughts, it’s time to upgrade them. I do this by reading books and listening to audio that reinforces these thoughts. I find that there’s no reason to reinvent the wheel. The people that have gone before me and experienced a life of prosperity and abundance are the best teachers.

When you reach this level of consciousness, you’ll want to surround yourself with thoughts, ideas, conversations, and resources that reinforce the belief that prosperity can be yours. Here are a few suggested books:

What are the books and resources you like to read, to keep your mind focused on prosperity? I’m always adding new titles to my own library and I’d love to read some of your suggestions.


Enjoyed this post? Fill in the form below to subscribe, or click here to subscribe to my RSS feed.

American Single Women

Addicted To Love

Free Dating

Sam Mendes

Are Age Differences a Barrier to Romance?

There is More to Life Than Being Someone’s Wife.

Why BW Need The Rules

How To Go Out Alone Without Being Alone

Dating Expert

How To Be Irresistible to White Men

The New Rules of Attraction

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1600359060) } [15]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(69) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-399112580048030374" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 16 Sep 2020 13:05:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-16T06:05:34.844-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(48) "Why Is My Mature Friend Emotionally Unavailable?" ["description"]=> string(19845) "

 


Q: My mature partner of four years has major issues being emotionally unavailable. We’ve discussed it but he claims “he just doesn’t feel love and emotion” like other people do. How do I deal with this love-less relationship? I’m finding it extremely difficult to cope.

-Megan R.

A: Hi Megan,

This is a difficult situation if you’re the type of person who needs to hear and feel love, caring and affection from your partner. There are few things more frustrating in a relationship than having an emotionally unavailable partner.

An emotionally unavailable senior person erects emotional walls between themselves and others to avoid closeness and intimacy. There are many possible causes of this emotional type of distancing. Among them are apathy and post traumatic stress disorder.

Since this is typically a psychological issue, counseling is usually required to break through and create change. In some cases, medication is also necessary. If your partner isn’t willing to seek help, research suggests that it’s most likely to continue. The reality is that love alone isn’t enough to create a happy and fulfilling relationship, Megan. If you’re really finding this extremely difficult to cope with after four years, I can only imagine how you’ll feel in the coming years ahead. In my opinion, your older partner needs help if you want to resolve this issue and find happiness together.

Related Resources:

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Q: I'm 19 years old and my husband is 22. We’ve been married for two years. It's been a rocky marriage because he likes to play video games all day long. I’ve talked to him about wanting to watch a movie with me or order takeout and cuddle on the couch, but he ignores me. He used to be the sweetest guy when we first got married, but when I got pregnant everything went downhill. How can I get him to be more romantic?

-Kristina A.

A: Hi Kristina,

I’m sorry to read about the distance between your husband and yourself. However, I’m happy that you’re reaching out for help. That fact that you recognize potential trouble and will take action increases the potential of you resolving this issue. Simply ignoring issues like this never helps them get better or go away. In my opinion, you may need some outside help for this one, because you’re both very young and have a child to consider.

Your husband’s behavior may be a result of immaturity, or it may be that he’s feeling a bit overwhelmed and shutting down a bit in order to cope. Since there’s a child involved, please make an appointment with a therapist or speak with someone from your place of worship about this. This problem is fairly typical for young families and relatively easy to work through, if you both value your relationship and want to stay together. Strengthening your marriage will create a stable family and healthy environment for your child

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Q: My husband passed away last December. I still miss him, but I would like to start living my life again. I've been looking at single sites, but all the men seem to just want sex – and I'm not ready for that yet. Where can I meet people who are interested in getting to know a person slowly?

-Lora P.

A: Hi Lora,

First, let me offer you my deepest condolences for the loss of your dear husband. Having lost my wife a few years back, I know how deeply this cuts and how difficult it is to move forward. But I am very pleased that you’re interested in moving on, and I am confident that your late husband would want nothing less for you than to find true love, companionship and real happiness again. This leads us to your dilemma regarding where to meet considerate and decent men who will be sensitive to your situation, respect your loss and honor your desire to move slowly.

The truth is that there are a variety of places where you can explore new relationships, but there is no guarantee you won’t run into one of those wolves on the prowl for wounded and vulnerable souls. In situations like yours, however, I always tend to think of networking with friends and loved ones first. After all, these significant people in your life already love you, know you well and want the best for you. They also know their friends and co-workers well enough to help minimize matching errors and keep the wolves at bay. Of course, there is always your local place of worship, book clubs and volunteering centers to name just a few other options. With that said, let me also invite our readers to leave some suggestions, as I’m sure many of them have been or are currently in your situation. I honestly believe there are kind and good men out there, Lora, and I’m confident, if you take your time, you will find one.

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" ["link"]=> string(84) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/why-is-my-mature-friend-emotionally.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(19845) "

 


Q: My mature partner of four years has major issues being emotionally unavailable. We’ve discussed it but he claims “he just doesn’t feel love and emotion” like other people do. How do I deal with this love-less relationship? I’m finding it extremely difficult to cope.

-Megan R.

A: Hi Megan,

This is a difficult situation if you’re the type of person who needs to hear and feel love, caring and affection from your partner. There are few things more frustrating in a relationship than having an emotionally unavailable partner.

An emotionally unavailable senior person erects emotional walls between themselves and others to avoid closeness and intimacy. There are many possible causes of this emotional type of distancing. Among them are apathy and post traumatic stress disorder.

Since this is typically a psychological issue, counseling is usually required to break through and create change. In some cases, medication is also necessary. If your partner isn’t willing to seek help, research suggests that it’s most likely to continue. The reality is that love alone isn’t enough to create a happy and fulfilling relationship, Megan. If you’re really finding this extremely difficult to cope with after four years, I can only imagine how you’ll feel in the coming years ahead. In my opinion, your older partner needs help if you want to resolve this issue and find happiness together.

Related Resources:

Houston Mature Singles
San Diego Mature Singles
Queens Mature Singles
Tampa Mature Singles
Sacramento Mature Singles
Austin Mature Singles
San Francisco Mature Singles
Tulsa Mature Singles
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Detroit Mature Singles
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Baltimore Mature Singles
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Tucson Mature Singles

Q: I'm 19 years old and my husband is 22. We’ve been married for two years. It's been a rocky marriage because he likes to play video games all day long. I’ve talked to him about wanting to watch a movie with me or order takeout and cuddle on the couch, but he ignores me. He used to be the sweetest guy when we first got married, but when I got pregnant everything went downhill. How can I get him to be more romantic?

-Kristina A.

A: Hi Kristina,

I’m sorry to read about the distance between your husband and yourself. However, I’m happy that you’re reaching out for help. That fact that you recognize potential trouble and will take action increases the potential of you resolving this issue. Simply ignoring issues like this never helps them get better or go away. In my opinion, you may need some outside help for this one, because you’re both very young and have a child to consider.

Your husband’s behavior may be a result of immaturity, or it may be that he’s feeling a bit overwhelmed and shutting down a bit in order to cope. Since there’s a child involved, please make an appointment with a therapist or speak with someone from your place of worship about this. This problem is fairly typical for young families and relatively easy to work through, if you both value your relationship and want to stay together. Strengthening your marriage will create a stable family and healthy environment for your child

Related Pages:
Boston Mature Singles
Miami Mature Singles
Atlanta Mature Singles
Manhattan Mature Singles
Los Angeles Mature Singles
Cincinnati Mature Singles
Portland Mature Singles
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Q: My husband passed away last December. I still miss him, but I would like to start living my life again. I've been looking at single sites, but all the men seem to just want sex – and I'm not ready for that yet. Where can I meet people who are interested in getting to know a person slowly?

-Lora P.

A: Hi Lora,

First, let me offer you my deepest condolences for the loss of your dear husband. Having lost my wife a few years back, I know how deeply this cuts and how difficult it is to move forward. But I am very pleased that you’re interested in moving on, and I am confident that your late husband would want nothing less for you than to find true love, companionship and real happiness again. This leads us to your dilemma regarding where to meet considerate and decent men who will be sensitive to your situation, respect your loss and honor your desire to move slowly.

The truth is that there are a variety of places where you can explore new relationships, but there is no guarantee you won’t run into one of those wolves on the prowl for wounded and vulnerable souls. In situations like yours, however, I always tend to think of networking with friends and loved ones first. After all, these significant people in your life already love you, know you well and want the best for you. They also know their friends and co-workers well enough to help minimize matching errors and keep the wolves at bay. Of course, there is always your local place of worship, book clubs and volunteering centers to name just a few other options. With that said, let me also invite our readers to leave some suggestions, as I’m sure many of them have been or are currently in your situation. I honestly believe there are kind and good men out there, Lora, and I’m confident, if you take your time, you will find one.

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St Louis Mature Dating
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1600261500) } [16]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-2958404804812851963" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 16 Sep 2020 10:48:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-16T03:48:55.440-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(50) "How Long Should I Wait for My Boyfriend to Change?" ["description"]=> string(17813) "

 


Q: How long should I have to wait for my 34-year-old boyfriend of a year and a half to change? He can’t even save money for a blender. Even his mom told him to get a job with a steady income. We can't live together yet because I don't feel financially secure with him.

-Pamela N.

A: Hi Pamela,

Let me begin by saying that you’re absolutely right on target regarding your concerns about your boyfriend and are very wise to pause and take stock of this situation. It sounds to me like the wisdom of your inner voice is whispering warning messages in your ear and that your discussions with his mother give real substance to your fears. My experience tells me that if he hasn’t responded to your requests to begin acting more mature and responsible after a year and a half, he most likely won’t.

This is a bad omen regarding marriage, because the reality is that one of the top reasons that people divorce is due to financial issues. If this is a problem now, and after a year and a half he still shows very little, if any, motivation to remedy it, I believe that it will become a much bigger issue later. Of course, there’s always the possibility of him having an epiphany and changing, but because of his age and history, I’m doubtful of that happening. At the end of the day, love alone isn’t enough to make a marriage work.

Q: I just broke up with my boyfriend because his mom offered to buy him a house if he broke up with me. What I’ve realized is that there’s a commonality with the guys I’ve dated. All of their mothers are very controlling. How do I change myself so that I stop attracting the same kind of guy?

-May P.

A: Hi May,

You ask a great question that many people struggle with. Habitually getting involved with the same type of person over and over again isn’t an accident or a coincidence. It’s done by choice; however, it’s typically not a conscious kind of choice. It’s more often than not driven by some underlying need, desire or self-esteem issue within you. Depending on how deep-seated these issues are, you may need the assistance of a therapist to drill to the core of this repetitive behavior in order to change it. Step one, however, in breaking this pattern, always begins with awareness. Your message to me demonstrates clearly that you now have accomplished this first important step.

Two clues that I get from your message are that you’re attracted to (1) men who have controlling mothers, and (2) men whose family have money. Some people find a way out of repeating patterns by mindfully dating people who don’t fit the normal mold of men that they’re typically attracted to. This is accomplished by a shear act of knowing the pattern that you’re trying to avoid. Others simply let their friends set them up with dates as a way of avoiding their own personal preferences that consistently lead them to wrong people. If you can’t change this through a strong act of will and your own efforts, allow a trained professional to help you work yourself through this, May.

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Kansas.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Oregon.html?gender=female&page=2

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http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/North-Carolina/city-of-Fayetteville.html?gender=female&page=2

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http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Virginia.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Ohio.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Georgia.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Georgia.html?gender=female?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Georgia/city-of-Augusta.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Georgia/city-of-Savannah.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Georgia/city-of-Columbus.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Georgia/city-of-Athens.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Georgia/city-of-Macon.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Georgia/city-of-Albany.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Georgia/city-of-Marietta.html?gender=female&page=2


Q: After 20 years of attracting unhealthy, unworthy men, I realize that I, too, was unhealthy. It has been said that we have to “delete” old programs and replace them with new ones. How can this be done?

-Joanne R.

A: Hi Joanne,

Even though I don’t know you and we’ve never met, I want you to know that I’m proud of you because of the valuable insight that you shared with me. Realizing and accepting that it’s something within you that’s letting this type of man into your life is the exact type of transformational seed of thought that needs to be planted before real change take place. Since you’ve already taken that critical first step called awareness, learning to delete old programs and replace them with new ones is the next step.

Technically, this is called cognitive restructuring, and it’s a psychotherapeutic technique that teaches you how to replace old negative, self-defeating thoughts with new positive, self-enhancing thoughts. This is also called thought reframing and it’s a tool used by cognitive therapists to help you to recognize and change the way you habitually think. One of the most famous cognitive restructuring therapies, rational emotive therapy (RET), was developed by Albert Ellis. Since you said that you have a 20-year history of making the wrong relationship choices, I suggest that you make an appointment with a cognitive therapist. Cognitive restructuring is just what you’re looking for, as it’s specifically designed to help you to identify, attack and change unhealthy and negative thinking.

" ["link"]=> string(88) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/how-long-should-i-wait-for-my-boyfriend.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(17813) "

 


Q: How long should I have to wait for my 34-year-old boyfriend of a year and a half to change? He can’t even save money for a blender. Even his mom told him to get a job with a steady income. We can't live together yet because I don't feel financially secure with him.

-Pamela N.

A: Hi Pamela,

Let me begin by saying that you’re absolutely right on target regarding your concerns about your boyfriend and are very wise to pause and take stock of this situation. It sounds to me like the wisdom of your inner voice is whispering warning messages in your ear and that your discussions with his mother give real substance to your fears. My experience tells me that if he hasn’t responded to your requests to begin acting more mature and responsible after a year and a half, he most likely won’t.

This is a bad omen regarding marriage, because the reality is that one of the top reasons that people divorce is due to financial issues. If this is a problem now, and after a year and a half he still shows very little, if any, motivation to remedy it, I believe that it will become a much bigger issue later. Of course, there’s always the possibility of him having an epiphany and changing, but because of his age and history, I’m doubtful of that happening. At the end of the day, love alone isn’t enough to make a marriage work.

Q: I just broke up with my boyfriend because his mom offered to buy him a house if he broke up with me. What I’ve realized is that there’s a commonality with the guys I’ve dated. All of their mothers are very controlling. How do I change myself so that I stop attracting the same kind of guy?

-May P.

A: Hi May,

You ask a great question that many people struggle with. Habitually getting involved with the same type of person over and over again isn’t an accident or a coincidence. It’s done by choice; however, it’s typically not a conscious kind of choice. It’s more often than not driven by some underlying need, desire or self-esteem issue within you. Depending on how deep-seated these issues are, you may need the assistance of a therapist to drill to the core of this repetitive behavior in order to change it. Step one, however, in breaking this pattern, always begins with awareness. Your message to me demonstrates clearly that you now have accomplished this first important step.

Two clues that I get from your message are that you’re attracted to (1) men who have controlling mothers, and (2) men whose family have money. Some people find a way out of repeating patterns by mindfully dating people who don’t fit the normal mold of men that they’re typically attracted to. This is accomplished by a shear act of knowing the pattern that you’re trying to avoid. Others simply let their friends set them up with dates as a way of avoiding their own personal preferences that consistently lead them to wrong people. If you can’t change this through a strong act of will and your own efforts, allow a trained professional to help you work yourself through this, May.

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Kansas.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Oregon.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Nevada.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Indiana.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/North-Carolina/city-of-Fayetteville.html?gender=female&page=2

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http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Georgia/city-of-Columbus.html?gender=female&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Georgia/city-of-Athens.html?gender=female&page=2

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http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Georgia/city-of-Marietta.html?gender=female&page=2


Q: After 20 years of attracting unhealthy, unworthy men, I realize that I, too, was unhealthy. It has been said that we have to “delete” old programs and replace them with new ones. How can this be done?

-Joanne R.

A: Hi Joanne,

Even though I don’t know you and we’ve never met, I want you to know that I’m proud of you because of the valuable insight that you shared with me. Realizing and accepting that it’s something within you that’s letting this type of man into your life is the exact type of transformational seed of thought that needs to be planted before real change take place. Since you’ve already taken that critical first step called awareness, learning to delete old programs and replace them with new ones is the next step.

Technically, this is called cognitive restructuring, and it’s a psychotherapeutic technique that teaches you how to replace old negative, self-defeating thoughts with new positive, self-enhancing thoughts. This is also called thought reframing and it’s a tool used by cognitive therapists to help you to recognize and change the way you habitually think. One of the most famous cognitive restructuring therapies, rational emotive therapy (RET), was developed by Albert Ellis. Since you said that you have a 20-year history of making the wrong relationship choices, I suggest that you make an appointment with a cognitive therapist. Cognitive restructuring is just what you’re looking for, as it’s specifically designed to help you to identify, attack and change unhealthy and negative thinking.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1600253280) } [17]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-3088706070067651206" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 16 Sep 2020 10:22:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-16T03:22:41.196-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(41) "Loving a Liar and Unmarried with Children" ["description"]=> string(17595) "

 


Dear Loveawake,

My boyfriend used to be quite the philanderer. I can accept his past since it was before we met, but I cannot handle meeting his past lovers. My boyfriend has introduced me to four of these women, and we hang out with one of them quite often. Although I’m a bit reluctant, I accept spending time with her because they are such good friends. But now my boyfriend wants me to meet another of his ex-girlfriends. I know these women are in the past, but I just don't feel they belong in the present. I worry he might be tempted to take a detour down memory lane, and meeting my boyfriend’s exes makes me question our relationship. Am I just another notch in his belt? Although I appreciate his honesty and openness, my boyfriend’s relationships with these women make me feel anything but special. How do I cope with this?

- Angela P.

Dear Angela,

It is natural to feel awkward meeting your significant other’s exes. However, it sounds as if you’re worried he might cheat on you with one of these women. If you have no reason aside from your insecurity to believe your boyfriend will stray, you should trust that your relationship is more important to him than sex with an ex

However, if you don’t like spending time with these women, then don’t. It’s well within your rights to say, “Honey, I love you, but meeting these other women makes me feel uncomfortable, and I’d rather not do it? But it’s not okay for you to forbid your boyfriend to see these women entirely… unless you truly think he is cheating on you with one of them. Trying to control his behavior will only place more strain on your relationship.

There are two things I recommend you do to cope with this situation. The first is something I’ve suggested to others in the past: journal. Sit down and consider what specifically is bothering you:

·         Does my boyfriend still flirt with his exes?

·         Do I compare myself with these women?

·         What’s pushing my jealousy buttons?

·         What would I like him to do?

·         What do I want out of my relationship?

·         Is there something specific my boyfriend could do to make me feel special?

After you’ve thought through your feelings, have a candid discussion with your boyfriend. Use “I  statements, such as I feel insecure when you spend a lot of time with your exes? Dont accuse him of cheating or give ultimatums. Do, however, state what you would like your boyfriend to do to help make your relationship more unified.

If your requests are reasonable but he refuses to comply, you may need to think about whether you want to stay together. Tough as it may be, letting go of a negative relationship will serve you better in the long run rather than trying to achieve a healthy partnership with someone who’s unwilling to compromise. 

 http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Hawaii/city-of-Honolulu.html?gender=male&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/North-Carolina/city-of-Charlotte.html?gender=male&page=2

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" ["link"]=> string(88) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/loving-liar-and-unmarried-with-children.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(17595) "

 


Dear Loveawake,

My boyfriend used to be quite the philanderer. I can accept his past since it was before we met, but I cannot handle meeting his past lovers. My boyfriend has introduced me to four of these women, and we hang out with one of them quite often. Although I’m a bit reluctant, I accept spending time with her because they are such good friends. But now my boyfriend wants me to meet another of his ex-girlfriends. I know these women are in the past, but I just don't feel they belong in the present. I worry he might be tempted to take a detour down memory lane, and meeting my boyfriend’s exes makes me question our relationship. Am I just another notch in his belt? Although I appreciate his honesty and openness, my boyfriend’s relationships with these women make me feel anything but special. How do I cope with this?

- Angela P.

Dear Angela,

It is natural to feel awkward meeting your significant other’s exes. However, it sounds as if you’re worried he might cheat on you with one of these women. If you have no reason aside from your insecurity to believe your boyfriend will stray, you should trust that your relationship is more important to him than sex with an ex

However, if you don’t like spending time with these women, then don’t. It’s well within your rights to say, “Honey, I love you, but meeting these other women makes me feel uncomfortable, and I’d rather not do it? But it’s not okay for you to forbid your boyfriend to see these women entirely… unless you truly think he is cheating on you with one of them. Trying to control his behavior will only place more strain on your relationship.

There are two things I recommend you do to cope with this situation. The first is something I’ve suggested to others in the past: journal. Sit down and consider what specifically is bothering you:

·         Does my boyfriend still flirt with his exes?

·         Do I compare myself with these women?

·         What’s pushing my jealousy buttons?

·         What would I like him to do?

·         What do I want out of my relationship?

·         Is there something specific my boyfriend could do to make me feel special?

After you’ve thought through your feelings, have a candid discussion with your boyfriend. Use “I  statements, such as I feel insecure when you spend a lot of time with your exes? Dont accuse him of cheating or give ultimatums. Do, however, state what you would like your boyfriend to do to help make your relationship more unified.

If your requests are reasonable but he refuses to comply, you may need to think about whether you want to stay together. Tough as it may be, letting go of a negative relationship will serve you better in the long run rather than trying to achieve a healthy partnership with someone who’s unwilling to compromise. 

 http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Hawaii/city-of-Honolulu.html?gender=male&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/North-Carolina/city-of-Charlotte.html?gender=male&page=2

http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Ohio/city-of-Cincinnati.html?gender=male&page=2

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http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/New-York/city-of-Queens%7CNew-York.html?gender=male&page=2

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http://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Colorado/city-of-Denver.html?gender=male&page=2


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1600251720) } [18]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(69) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-817400293273770659" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 11 Sep 2020 15:07:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-11T08:08:03.217-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(28) "What To Do When Friends Date" ["description"]=> string(11248) "

 


Ever had a couple of pals of yours who started to date?  It’s not totally out of left field. Your guy pal likes you and so does your female friend, so why wouldn’t they like each other? They’ve got at least one thing in common. But when they suddenly discover they have more mutual interests than just you, the situation can indeed become a slippery slope.


Here are five tips to navigate this tricky situation:

1. Handle your jealousy:

You may feel suddenly slighted that they start having plans together and do not invite you. Although you may feel uncomfortable that they now have a separate relationship and life that doesn’t include you, try to be happy for them. They are, after all, your friends.

2. Be supportive:

If they call each other pet names or decide to move in together, accept it and support them. You can’t really give your opinion in the same way as you would if it were one of your friends asking about their love interest who is not also a friend of yours.

3. Do not take sides:

When the inevitable argument occurs, simply tell them both that you are very sorry, but you just want nothing to do with it. Don’t take sides. You will always lose out.

4. Look for the positive:

Although initially awkward, having two friends who are dating can have many benefits. You can go on double dates! If you’re single, ask them to set you up on a double date. You will now have two for the price of one when it comes to giving opinions on if this date is right for you. If they fall in love and have a long and healthy relationship, they will always have you to thank for it and will forever be indebted to you for their life of happiness.

*****5. Make your stance clear from the beginning:******

This is my most important tip and it comes from personal experience. Two of my friends Aaron and Erin (yes, those are their real names) suddenly started to hit it off when a group of us went to Miami for a weekend trip. Now, being that they were both my friends, and they were both actors (I do not know a bigger recipe for dating disaster) I anticipated that this relationship might implode at almost the same speed it had taken off on the shore of South Beach in a mojito-induced haze. As soon as I saw Aaron rubbing sunblock on Erin’s back, I made my opinion clear. “I like you both and want to keep you both as friends. I will not take sides. Do not ask me what the other is doing or fish for information.”

It was a bit blunt, but a very important statement to make before this got off the ground. As predicted, their Miami 
romance fizzled a few months after returning to New York. Erin never told me she was cheating on Aaron, and although that would have made for interesting girl talk, I am glad I knew nothing about it and that relationship ran it’s course. They are both still my friends.

 Related Articles:

How To Save A Failing Relationship?

HOW TO ATTRACT WOMEN ONLINE

Is He Your Soulmate?

Advice on Love and Life

A Broken Heart and 'Me' Time

Healing from Abuse and Finding Purpose

How to Sabotage Your Online Dating Experience in One Easy Step

Avoiding Internet Dating Pitfalls

Gay or Straight Marriage: Love is Love

Love Your Mate But Can’t Stand Their Friends?


" ["link"]=> string(77) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/what-to-do-when-friends-date.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(11248) "

 


Ever had a couple of pals of yours who started to date?  It’s not totally out of left field. Your guy pal likes you and so does your female friend, so why wouldn’t they like each other? They’ve got at least one thing in common. But when they suddenly discover they have more mutual interests than just you, the situation can indeed become a slippery slope.


Here are five tips to navigate this tricky situation:

1. Handle your jealousy:

You may feel suddenly slighted that they start having plans together and do not invite you. Although you may feel uncomfortable that they now have a separate relationship and life that doesn’t include you, try to be happy for them. They are, after all, your friends.

2. Be supportive:

If they call each other pet names or decide to move in together, accept it and support them. You can’t really give your opinion in the same way as you would if it were one of your friends asking about their love interest who is not also a friend of yours.

3. Do not take sides:

When the inevitable argument occurs, simply tell them both that you are very sorry, but you just want nothing to do with it. Don’t take sides. You will always lose out.

4. Look for the positive:

Although initially awkward, having two friends who are dating can have many benefits. You can go on double dates! If you’re single, ask them to set you up on a double date. You will now have two for the price of one when it comes to giving opinions on if this date is right for you. If they fall in love and have a long and healthy relationship, they will always have you to thank for it and will forever be indebted to you for their life of happiness.

*****5. Make your stance clear from the beginning:******

This is my most important tip and it comes from personal experience. Two of my friends Aaron and Erin (yes, those are their real names) suddenly started to hit it off when a group of us went to Miami for a weekend trip. Now, being that they were both my friends, and they were both actors (I do not know a bigger recipe for dating disaster) I anticipated that this relationship might implode at almost the same speed it had taken off on the shore of South Beach in a mojito-induced haze. As soon as I saw Aaron rubbing sunblock on Erin’s back, I made my opinion clear. “I like you both and want to keep you both as friends. I will not take sides. Do not ask me what the other is doing or fish for information.”

It was a bit blunt, but a very important statement to make before this got off the ground. As predicted, their Miami 
romance fizzled a few months after returning to New York. Erin never told me she was cheating on Aaron, and although that would have made for interesting girl talk, I am glad I knew nothing about it and that relationship ran it’s course. They are both still my friends.

 Related Articles:

How To Save A Failing Relationship?

HOW TO ATTRACT WOMEN ONLINE

Is He Your Soulmate?

Advice on Love and Life

A Broken Heart and 'Me' Time

Healing from Abuse and Finding Purpose

How to Sabotage Your Online Dating Experience in One Easy Step

Avoiding Internet Dating Pitfalls

Gay or Straight Marriage: Love is Love

Love Your Mate But Can’t Stand Their Friends?


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1599836820) } [19]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-1177374813052039468" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 09 Sep 2020 15:58:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-09T08:58:38.615-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(43) "Dating Techniques Men and Women Should Know" ["description"]=> string(14375) "

 


Dating Techniques

First dates are your ticket to second dates and more dates to come. So you should know how to put your best foot forward and make a good impression. Below are dating techniques for both sexes. Reading this post and applying these Dating Techniques wisely can greatly enhance your relationship.

Dating Techniques for Men

Be prepared for the date. Have a good personal hygiene and grooming is very important. Otherwise, if you look and dress lousy on your first date, you are making an impression that you do not care much about your date and an impression that you can’t take care of your own self. Additionally, if you know you look good and presentable, it will add to your confidence level.

Wearing comfortable outfit is also a nice idea so you wouldn’t be always fixing or smoothing out your clothes while you’re on your date. You would want to focus more on the girl and the conversation instead of frequently preening yourself.

Prepare yourself mentally. Plan ahead. Plan where you are going and what you are going to do on your date. Make arrangements in advance. Prepare an ice breaker so the conversation will flow smoothly.

Another dating technique is brushing up on your proper manners and etiquette. Be courteous. If you are used to talking foul languages and profanity, better start removing those words from your vocabulary. You wouldn’t have many dates if you speak and act rudely. Women like to be treated with respect and gentleness. It is a plus point if you are a gentleman. Opening the door for her, letting her go first and helping her with her seat are some ways that can show that you are a real gentleman.

When you are having conversations, be interested in her and appear that you are listening to her as she talks. Also, be interesting. It’s good if you have a sense of humor because you can use it to lighten things up and promote good bonding.

Good dating techniques are being able to read women’s body language. It is an advantage on your dating endeavors. Generally, women are indirect and subtle. So if you can read their body language, you can make moves accordingly. Additionally, women are emotional creatures and their instinct is quite good. So you better manage your own body language, so you wouldn’t be sending inappropriate signals.

Women like to be complimented but give a sincere compliment because women can tell if it’s sincere or just a flattery.

Reflect what it is you want to gain from dating. If you are serious to find a lifetime partner or have a romantic relationship, be proactive in finding women to date. Attend social functions; join clubs or sports events to meet women. You should hone your dating skills.

Related Articles:

Assessing your personality traits & lifestyle

Online Dating Mate Criteria

Meeting Women Online

Long term and Short term Relationships

Online Dating Relationship Advice

Dating Tips : The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating

Practical And Effective Online Dating Tips

Tips on How to Start Dating After Divorce

DatingGuide Dating Techniques Men and Women Should Know

  Dating Techniques for Women

 If you like the guy you’re dating, these dating techniques are worth the read.

An effective dating technique to employ on your dates is to put an effort to dress well and look good. Be attractive. Guys care much about appearance. So pay attention to that. You don’t have to be beautiful to be attractive. Just dress well, highlight your assets, smile, and be confident and friendly.

A good dating technique for women is to be interesting and intriguing. Guys like a sense of mystery and enigma. So do not give too much about yourself right away and maintain a level of mystery in you.

Make the date fun and lighthearted. Have some sense of humor. Laugh if he cracks some funny jokes. Another dating technique is to make sure you have prepared for conversations and be able to talk with substance. A smart guy would like a girl that stands her ground and talks her mind.

Do not talk about commitments during the early stages of dating or you might lose the guy. Do not give into sex right away or you will lose the guy’s interest quickly. Let the emotions and sense of attachment develop before giving into his sexual desires.

Do not be clingy but maintain a level of independence. It’s true that guys also want to feel needed but do not be too much dependent. Know how to make him feel needed but still have your own thinking, decision and personality.

If it’s your first date and first time meeting the guy, mind your safety. First dates should be in public places. Keep your cell phone with you at all times. Do not tell too much about yourself. Be mindful in giving personal information.

If you have dated the guy and figured out that you do not want to date him any longer, be honest with him and do not give him false hopes.

Dating Techniques : Final thoughts

Dating skills (dating techniques) are necessary to have success on your dates. You don’t only date for future relationship prospect, but you can also find friendship in those dates you feel not romantically involved but would want to maintain friendship. Additionally, friends can be good matchmakers and can recommend future dates.

" ["link"]=> string(87) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/dating-techniques-men-and-women-should.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(14375) "

 


Dating Techniques

First dates are your ticket to second dates and more dates to come. So you should know how to put your best foot forward and make a good impression. Below are dating techniques for both sexes. Reading this post and applying these Dating Techniques wisely can greatly enhance your relationship.

Dating Techniques for Men

Be prepared for the date. Have a good personal hygiene and grooming is very important. Otherwise, if you look and dress lousy on your first date, you are making an impression that you do not care much about your date and an impression that you can’t take care of your own self. Additionally, if you know you look good and presentable, it will add to your confidence level.

Wearing comfortable outfit is also a nice idea so you wouldn’t be always fixing or smoothing out your clothes while you’re on your date. You would want to focus more on the girl and the conversation instead of frequently preening yourself.

Prepare yourself mentally. Plan ahead. Plan where you are going and what you are going to do on your date. Make arrangements in advance. Prepare an ice breaker so the conversation will flow smoothly.

Another dating technique is brushing up on your proper manners and etiquette. Be courteous. If you are used to talking foul languages and profanity, better start removing those words from your vocabulary. You wouldn’t have many dates if you speak and act rudely. Women like to be treated with respect and gentleness. It is a plus point if you are a gentleman. Opening the door for her, letting her go first and helping her with her seat are some ways that can show that you are a real gentleman.

When you are having conversations, be interested in her and appear that you are listening to her as she talks. Also, be interesting. It’s good if you have a sense of humor because you can use it to lighten things up and promote good bonding.

Good dating techniques are being able to read women’s body language. It is an advantage on your dating endeavors. Generally, women are indirect and subtle. So if you can read their body language, you can make moves accordingly. Additionally, women are emotional creatures and their instinct is quite good. So you better manage your own body language, so you wouldn’t be sending inappropriate signals.

Women like to be complimented but give a sincere compliment because women can tell if it’s sincere or just a flattery.

Reflect what it is you want to gain from dating. If you are serious to find a lifetime partner or have a romantic relationship, be proactive in finding women to date. Attend social functions; join clubs or sports events to meet women. You should hone your dating skills.

Related Articles:

Assessing your personality traits & lifestyle

Online Dating Mate Criteria

Meeting Women Online

Long term and Short term Relationships

Online Dating Relationship Advice

Dating Tips : The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating

Practical And Effective Online Dating Tips

Tips on How to Start Dating After Divorce

DatingGuide Dating Techniques Men and Women Should Know

  Dating Techniques for Women

 If you like the guy you’re dating, these dating techniques are worth the read.

An effective dating technique to employ on your dates is to put an effort to dress well and look good. Be attractive. Guys care much about appearance. So pay attention to that. You don’t have to be beautiful to be attractive. Just dress well, highlight your assets, smile, and be confident and friendly.

A good dating technique for women is to be interesting and intriguing. Guys like a sense of mystery and enigma. So do not give too much about yourself right away and maintain a level of mystery in you.

Make the date fun and lighthearted. Have some sense of humor. Laugh if he cracks some funny jokes. Another dating technique is to make sure you have prepared for conversations and be able to talk with substance. A smart guy would like a girl that stands her ground and talks her mind.

Do not talk about commitments during the early stages of dating or you might lose the guy. Do not give into sex right away or you will lose the guy’s interest quickly. Let the emotions and sense of attachment develop before giving into his sexual desires.

Do not be clingy but maintain a level of independence. It’s true that guys also want to feel needed but do not be too much dependent. Know how to make him feel needed but still have your own thinking, decision and personality.

If it’s your first date and first time meeting the guy, mind your safety. First dates should be in public places. Keep your cell phone with you at all times. Do not tell too much about yourself. Be mindful in giving personal information.

If you have dated the guy and figured out that you do not want to date him any longer, be honest with him and do not give him false hopes.

Dating Techniques : Final thoughts

Dating skills (dating techniques) are necessary to have success on your dates. You don’t only date for future relationship prospect, but you can also find friendship in those dates you feel not romantically involved but would want to maintain friendship. Additionally, friends can be good matchmakers and can recommend future dates.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1599667080) } [20]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-7898584228129740895" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 08 Sep 2020 16:09:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-08T09:09:31.943-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(48) "Relationship Troubles? 4 Healing Tips to Try Now" ["description"]=> string(12261) "


 

No relationship is perfect, and having too high of expectations can really lead to failure. Right now, you want to work on the relationship between you and your partner. What are four healing tips that you can try?

Go on a Retreat

If you are not spiritual or religious, retreats are still available for you. These types of retreats might focus on meditative practices or on having serious and intense conversations with your partner. Look into different types of couples retreats to find one that best suits your needs. For people who are religious or spiritual, those sorts of retreats can help you to connect on a greater level as well.

Try Something New Together

Sometimes, people fall into a rut because they do the same old things all of the time. When you and your partner have fallen into a routine, you might feel as though nothing is exciting anymore. As a result, you end up not even wanting to spend a lot of time with one another. Instead of going home and watching television again tonight, try that hot new restaurant in town. Or plan a weekend retreat to a cozy little bed and breakfast that you've been wanting to try for some time now.

Seek Couples Counseling

Perhaps you do not feel that counseling is for you, but you should at least give these types of programs a try. Having an outside perspective is so important when you are going through difficulties. You might not be able to see areas where you can improve as an individual, and the same holds true for your significant other. Furthermore, you both might not recognize how much love is still present between the two of you and how you can work to take steps together to heal.

Know When It's Over

If a relationship is not going to work out, you simply cannot force it to be so. The time may have come to seek out the help a divorce attorney in Sacramento has to offer. However, depending upon the circumstances and how the two of you feel about each other, you may still be able to maintain a different type of relationship. Being friends does work for some couples who were previously married.

Healing your relationship can mean a lot of 
different things. It might mean that you really work on spending more time together, or the solution may be for the two of you to go your own ways.

 Resources:

Philippines Online Dating Evolution, the Past, Present and Future

Alex Etsy

Secretly Converting Your Lover to Green

Keeping Long-Distance Love Alive

 Speed Dating on the Web?

10 Steps to Solidify Your Love

Keeping Secrets From Your Partner

(Awkward!) Online Date

How NOT to Set Up Friends on a Blind Date

You’re Ready For The Wedding, But Are You Ready For Marriage?

Is Your Friend Zone Full?

A Prelude to a Date

Would You Know Him If You Met Him?

Remembering Will and Grace

How to turn your woman on mentally

Online Dating Advice Being Honest

Online Dating On Our Coping Mechanism in Break-Ups

The Bigger Perspective Of Love Relationships

Parental Оbjection and Your Love Relationship

" ["link"]=> string(88) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/relationship-troubles-4-healing-tips-to.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(12261) "


 

No relationship is perfect, and having too high of expectations can really lead to failure. Right now, you want to work on the relationship between you and your partner. What are four healing tips that you can try?

Go on a Retreat

If you are not spiritual or religious, retreats are still available for you. These types of retreats might focus on meditative practices or on having serious and intense conversations with your partner. Look into different types of couples retreats to find one that best suits your needs. For people who are religious or spiritual, those sorts of retreats can help you to connect on a greater level as well.

Try Something New Together

Sometimes, people fall into a rut because they do the same old things all of the time. When you and your partner have fallen into a routine, you might feel as though nothing is exciting anymore. As a result, you end up not even wanting to spend a lot of time with one another. Instead of going home and watching television again tonight, try that hot new restaurant in town. Or plan a weekend retreat to a cozy little bed and breakfast that you've been wanting to try for some time now.

Seek Couples Counseling

Perhaps you do not feel that counseling is for you, but you should at least give these types of programs a try. Having an outside perspective is so important when you are going through difficulties. You might not be able to see areas where you can improve as an individual, and the same holds true for your significant other. Furthermore, you both might not recognize how much love is still present between the two of you and how you can work to take steps together to heal.

Know When It's Over

If a relationship is not going to work out, you simply cannot force it to be so. The time may have come to seek out the help a divorce attorney in Sacramento has to offer. However, depending upon the circumstances and how the two of you feel about each other, you may still be able to maintain a different type of relationship. Being friends does work for some couples who were previously married.

Healing your relationship can mean a lot of 
different things. It might mean that you really work on spending more time together, or the solution may be for the two of you to go your own ways.

 Resources:

Philippines Online Dating Evolution, the Past, Present and Future

Alex Etsy

Secretly Converting Your Lover to Green

Keeping Long-Distance Love Alive

 Speed Dating on the Web?

10 Steps to Solidify Your Love

Keeping Secrets From Your Partner

(Awkward!) Online Date

How NOT to Set Up Friends on a Blind Date

You’re Ready For The Wedding, But Are You Ready For Marriage?

Is Your Friend Zone Full?

A Prelude to a Date

Would You Know Him If You Met Him?

Remembering Will and Grace

How to turn your woman on mentally

Online Dating Advice Being Honest

Online Dating On Our Coping Mechanism in Break-Ups

The Bigger Perspective Of Love Relationships

Parental Оbjection and Your Love Relationship

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1599581340) } [21]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-1850309911125395107" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 04 Sep 2020 15:53:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-04T08:53:42.190-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(53) "Cultivating your boyfriend or girlfriend’s presence" ["description"]=> string(39494) "

 

One of the most common issues in relationships is that our relationships stagnate real fast, and many of us do not know the reason why.

And there are many complaints from girls and ladies, that their boyfriend or husband are real passionate for the first few months into the relationship, and then they cool off, leaving the girls thinking that guys tend to take girls for granted.

Of course, some girls can be guilty to guys in this situation too. However it seems that there are more culprits amongst guys.

Today, I want to share how you can deal with these situations, and will help in improving your relationships starting now!

Let us be honest with some common issues we face in relationships.

Girls sometimes complain that guys are not taking initiatives to maintain their love relationship.

They feel that guys are not spending enough time with them, or doing for them some stuff that makes them feel appreciate.

Guys sometimes complain that girls always spend too much with their friends, or in their activities as well.

However I will like to let everyone know some facts before we actually deal with how to solve this issue of a stagnating relationship due to negligence.

Fact #1: Guys are inconsistent with their emotions and feelings.

We often say that girls are inconsistent with their emotions because their hormones change during the time of the month.

However, the real issue of guys isn’t monthly; its just that all guys are hot over a new thing and then grow cold gradually thereafter.

Ever seen a guy who bought a new handphone, and then he cleans his screen diligently daily with a cloth? After a few months, he doesn’t bother that much anymore, unlike the first time he bought it.

It happens to cars, any gadgets, and unfortunately their love ones.

I remember years ago when I first got into a love relationship; I would travel daily just to send my girlfriend home from work, even though I had other important responsibilities to fulfill.

I eventually got burned out in the relationship and begin doing stupid things.

Girls and ladies, when you see your boyfriend or husband seemingly on fire because it is the first few months into your new relationship, please realize that it may not be what you think it is.

Our feelings are immensely infatuated, and we ourselves believe that we are so in love, it almost doesn’t matter whether if the world ends tomorrow. Our own feelings do deceive us.

So if you understand this, you will not be feeding your boyfriend with more emotions and feelings to make him bloated and dizzy.

During these first few months in a new relationship, he may be demanding more time together with you, do crazy things just to impress you or whatsoever.

However, try not to encourage it too much, and let him learn the test of life as a relationship tends to be more of a journey than a destination.

I know this is hard as girls and ladies are impressed by the deeds of their boyfriend or husband in this period of time, but if you are disappointed thereafter after just a few months of relationship, understand that the guy’s emotional tank just ran out and he is not exactly trying to be fickle.

Anyway to guys, if your girlfriend or wife seems to fit this description, understand that this is just some innate human weakness that the majority of us tend to have.

Fact #2: Many girls tend to believe that guys should always be the one to initiate the welfare of a relationship.

Some girls tend to think that guys should be the one initiating the welfare of the relationship, by giving gifts, flowers or initiate to spend time with them.

And if guys do not seem to live up to their expectations, they get disappointed.

If you truly understand the above Fact #1, that we are all human and have weaknesses, such demands do not help the relationship at all, but rather damages it even faster.

We must all understand that this is a relationship, that girls can’t be always at the receiving end to every good thing, while guys are supposed to be producing the results only.

Guys are fragile beings too. We feel disappointed, upset, angry, lonely and more; that’s why we also want a companion on our side to tide through difficult times.

Girls likewise desire a partner for exactly similar reasons as well.

So when you expect a guy to always have to give it his all, and if you are contributing little, then your relationship is not bound to last.

I understand why girls sometimes think this way. In the first place a guy spends all his effort trying to capture your heart, and then impresses you through and through.

It tempts you to think that this is what a relationship is, because this guy tries so hard in the first place.

However, then the guy is burnout in his feelings, and if the girl demands more from the guy to make the relationship stable, healthy and exciting, that will cause more problems than ever.

My advice? Be perceptive to the guy’s feelings and needs too, and solve your issues together.

Give to your boyfriend freely, and do not try too hard to making him reciprocate back your love.

When he finally realize your love, he will automatically reciprocate back to you. I know because I experienced it first hand before.

And by this I hope both of you will grow old together in love.

Relationship advice and Dating tips: Cultivating your boyfriend or girlfriend’s presence

Understanding the above facts, now I want to share about how you can improve your relationships by cultivating your bofyriend or girlfriend’s presence.

And if you are married, it applies to you as well.

When people are demanding more from their partners in a relationship, they are not after your gifts, your sweet words or even time.

What they really want is to truly experience love and appreciation from you.

However, we often misinterpret these demands, and think that our partners are being unreasonable with the demand of gifts, sweet words or even time.

Let me say these first, you do not need to buy your partner a gift every other daynor do you have to spend many days just to satisfy your partner, and nor do you have to bombard her with messages of love everytime.

That’s because if your partner feel that you are not doing it out of love and appreciation, all these things that you do will miss the mark and make them feel even more upset.

If you can help your partner receive this love and appreciation, you will realize every demand made will cease.

How then do you help them achieve love and appreciation? By cultivating their presence consistently.

There aren’t exactly formulas or steps for you to follow to make your partner feel loved and appreciated. That’s simply because humans aren’t robots, and they don’t exactly respond plainly to formulas.

Instead these are just some principles that you can take note of:

1. If you are with your friends together with your partner, don’t just keep on entertaining your friends.

Even if you have to make eye contact with your partner, let your partner know that you appreciate his or her presence in the midst of your interaction.

2. When you are spending time with your friends outside without your partner, send short messages through your handphone to update him or her about your whereabouts.

That’s to let your partner know that you are appreciating him or her presence, and that you value your love relationship.

3. You do not have to wait for an occasion to buy a gift for your partner.

Let’s say you came across something really nice while you are out doing business or something, feel free to buy it for your partner if it is within your budget or means.

4. Always thank your partner properly for every good thing that he or she did for you.

Let us not take their efforts for granted, for we thank our friends well enough, but not with the ones whom we truly love as we think it is normal for them to do so.

5. If you have not been in contact with your partner, don’t wait for them to contact you; initiate the call or the message.

At the end of the day, the most important thing that your partner desires is for you to remember them and appreciate their presence well.

What if I am burned out in my feelings, and my partner is demanding more?

My first recommendation is for both of you to talk things through.

Let your partner know that it takes two hands to clap; not a single person is supposed to lift the relationship by himself or herself.

Otherwise why bother to be in a relationship? Nuns and monks are happy by themselves.

Sometimes, I realize that your partner may be expecting you to give to her a dose of appreciation or love, maybe in the form of sweet words, gifts or time, in order for him or her to have the strength to reciprocate their love and appreciation for you.

This happens, and if you are up to it, do something about it. If not, talk things through with your partner.

The second recommendation for the both of you is to pace yourselves, instead of forcing yourselves to make the relationship work.

By pacing yourselves in contributing to the relationship, it will work better than to forcibly do something about it.

What do I mean? If you both are feeling burnt out in the relationship, it is not necessary to keep meeting up and spending time with each other in order to get back the feelings you both once shared.

Give both yourselves some space and time to relax your emotions abit, for both of you to fulfill your responsibilities at home and at work, and when you are fresh again, then seek to cultivate each other’s presence once more.

That will certainly help instead of pushing both yourselves to a satisfying love relationship.

Final words for this post

My desire for everyone is for them to come to this blog, and find great tips or solutions for their love life.

And I hope by taking what I have written into account, do see how you can position yourself to further improve in your love relationships.

Let me know and share your input in the comments below.

 Related posts:

Tips for Co-parenting After a DivorceTips for Co-parenting After a Divorce

How To Move On After A Rejection!

A Current Profile Photo Worth a Thousand Words

Sweetheart Swindles and Lost Love Scams

Dating Bloggers Should Think Before They Blog

The Real Reason Why “Nice Guys” Finish Last

Anna Folkner

Bitsdujour

Friends With BenefitsAnd How To Know You Are One

Film Quotes That Have Inspired My Personal Dating Life

How To Manage A Long Distance Relationship

Grabbing Your Feminism By the Balls

Signs He’s Cheating On You

" ["link"]=> string(78) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/cultivating-your-boyfriend-or.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(39494) "

 

One of the most common issues in relationships is that our relationships stagnate real fast, and many of us do not know the reason why.

And there are many complaints from girls and ladies, that their boyfriend or husband are real passionate for the first few months into the relationship, and then they cool off, leaving the girls thinking that guys tend to take girls for granted.

Of course, some girls can be guilty to guys in this situation too. However it seems that there are more culprits amongst guys.

Today, I want to share how you can deal with these situations, and will help in improving your relationships starting now!

Let us be honest with some common issues we face in relationships.

Girls sometimes complain that guys are not taking initiatives to maintain their love relationship.

They feel that guys are not spending enough time with them, or doing for them some stuff that makes them feel appreciate.

Guys sometimes complain that girls always spend too much with their friends, or in their activities as well.

However I will like to let everyone know some facts before we actually deal with how to solve this issue of a stagnating relationship due to negligence.

Fact #1: Guys are inconsistent with their emotions and feelings.

We often say that girls are inconsistent with their emotions because their hormones change during the time of the month.

However, the real issue of guys isn’t monthly; its just that all guys are hot over a new thing and then grow cold gradually thereafter.

Ever seen a guy who bought a new handphone, and then he cleans his screen diligently daily with a cloth? After a few months, he doesn’t bother that much anymore, unlike the first time he bought it.

It happens to cars, any gadgets, and unfortunately their love ones.

I remember years ago when I first got into a love relationship; I would travel daily just to send my girlfriend home from work, even though I had other important responsibilities to fulfill.

I eventually got burned out in the relationship and begin doing stupid things.

Girls and ladies, when you see your boyfriend or husband seemingly on fire because it is the first few months into your new relationship, please realize that it may not be what you think it is.

Our feelings are immensely infatuated, and we ourselves believe that we are so in love, it almost doesn’t matter whether if the world ends tomorrow. Our own feelings do deceive us.

So if you understand this, you will not be feeding your boyfriend with more emotions and feelings to make him bloated and dizzy.

During these first few months in a new relationship, he may be demanding more time together with you, do crazy things just to impress you or whatsoever.

However, try not to encourage it too much, and let him learn the test of life as a relationship tends to be more of a journey than a destination.

I know this is hard as girls and ladies are impressed by the deeds of their boyfriend or husband in this period of time, but if you are disappointed thereafter after just a few months of relationship, understand that the guy’s emotional tank just ran out and he is not exactly trying to be fickle.

Anyway to guys, if your girlfriend or wife seems to fit this description, understand that this is just some innate human weakness that the majority of us tend to have.

Fact #2: Many girls tend to believe that guys should always be the one to initiate the welfare of a relationship.

Some girls tend to think that guys should be the one initiating the welfare of the relationship, by giving gifts, flowers or initiate to spend time with them.

And if guys do not seem to live up to their expectations, they get disappointed.

If you truly understand the above Fact #1, that we are all human and have weaknesses, such demands do not help the relationship at all, but rather damages it even faster.

We must all understand that this is a relationship, that girls can’t be always at the receiving end to every good thing, while guys are supposed to be producing the results only.

Guys are fragile beings too. We feel disappointed, upset, angry, lonely and more; that’s why we also want a companion on our side to tide through difficult times.

Girls likewise desire a partner for exactly similar reasons as well.

So when you expect a guy to always have to give it his all, and if you are contributing little, then your relationship is not bound to last.

I understand why girls sometimes think this way. In the first place a guy spends all his effort trying to capture your heart, and then impresses you through and through.

It tempts you to think that this is what a relationship is, because this guy tries so hard in the first place.

However, then the guy is burnout in his feelings, and if the girl demands more from the guy to make the relationship stable, healthy and exciting, that will cause more problems than ever.

My advice? Be perceptive to the guy’s feelings and needs too, and solve your issues together.

Give to your boyfriend freely, and do not try too hard to making him reciprocate back your love.

When he finally realize your love, he will automatically reciprocate back to you. I know because I experienced it first hand before.

And by this I hope both of you will grow old together in love.

Relationship advice and Dating tips: Cultivating your boyfriend or girlfriend’s presence

Understanding the above facts, now I want to share about how you can improve your relationships by cultivating your bofyriend or girlfriend’s presence.

And if you are married, it applies to you as well.

When people are demanding more from their partners in a relationship, they are not after your gifts, your sweet words or even time.

What they really want is to truly experience love and appreciation from you.

However, we often misinterpret these demands, and think that our partners are being unreasonable with the demand of gifts, sweet words or even time.

Let me say these first, you do not need to buy your partner a gift every other daynor do you have to spend many days just to satisfy your partner, and nor do you have to bombard her with messages of love everytime.

That’s because if your partner feel that you are not doing it out of love and appreciation, all these things that you do will miss the mark and make them feel even more upset.

If you can help your partner receive this love and appreciation, you will realize every demand made will cease.

How then do you help them achieve love and appreciation? By cultivating their presence consistently.

There aren’t exactly formulas or steps for you to follow to make your partner feel loved and appreciated. That’s simply because humans aren’t robots, and they don’t exactly respond plainly to formulas.

Instead these are just some principles that you can take note of:

1. If you are with your friends together with your partner, don’t just keep on entertaining your friends.

Even if you have to make eye contact with your partner, let your partner know that you appreciate his or her presence in the midst of your interaction.

2. When you are spending time with your friends outside without your partner, send short messages through your handphone to update him or her about your whereabouts.

That’s to let your partner know that you are appreciating him or her presence, and that you value your love relationship.

3. You do not have to wait for an occasion to buy a gift for your partner.

Let’s say you came across something really nice while you are out doing business or something, feel free to buy it for your partner if it is within your budget or means.

4. Always thank your partner properly for every good thing that he or she did for you.

Let us not take their efforts for granted, for we thank our friends well enough, but not with the ones whom we truly love as we think it is normal for them to do so.

5. If you have not been in contact with your partner, don’t wait for them to contact you; initiate the call or the message.

At the end of the day, the most important thing that your partner desires is for you to remember them and appreciate their presence well.

What if I am burned out in my feelings, and my partner is demanding more?

My first recommendation is for both of you to talk things through.

Let your partner know that it takes two hands to clap; not a single person is supposed to lift the relationship by himself or herself.

Otherwise why bother to be in a relationship? Nuns and monks are happy by themselves.

Sometimes, I realize that your partner may be expecting you to give to her a dose of appreciation or love, maybe in the form of sweet words, gifts or time, in order for him or her to have the strength to reciprocate their love and appreciation for you.

This happens, and if you are up to it, do something about it. If not, talk things through with your partner.

The second recommendation for the both of you is to pace yourselves, instead of forcing yourselves to make the relationship work.

By pacing yourselves in contributing to the relationship, it will work better than to forcibly do something about it.

What do I mean? If you both are feeling burnt out in the relationship, it is not necessary to keep meeting up and spending time with each other in order to get back the feelings you both once shared.

Give both yourselves some space and time to relax your emotions abit, for both of you to fulfill your responsibilities at home and at work, and when you are fresh again, then seek to cultivate each other’s presence once more.

That will certainly help instead of pushing both yourselves to a satisfying love relationship.

Final words for this post

My desire for everyone is for them to come to this blog, and find great tips or solutions for their love life.

And I hope by taking what I have written into account, do see how you can position yourself to further improve in your love relationships.

Let me know and share your input in the comments below.

 Related posts:

Tips for Co-parenting After a DivorceTips for Co-parenting After a Divorce

How To Move On After A Rejection!

A Current Profile Photo Worth a Thousand Words

Sweetheart Swindles and Lost Love Scams

Dating Bloggers Should Think Before They Blog

The Real Reason Why “Nice Guys” Finish Last

Anna Folkner

Bitsdujour

Friends With BenefitsAnd How To Know You Are One

Film Quotes That Have Inspired My Personal Dating Life

How To Manage A Long Distance Relationship

Grabbing Your Feminism By the Balls

Signs He’s Cheating On You

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1599234780) } [22]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-5108304111615314778" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 03 Sep 2020 06:45:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-09-02T23:46:03.847-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(25) "What to do when they lie?" ["description"]=> string(9234) "

I get this question fairly often and every time I hear the story I cringe inside. My first reaction is always anger at someome who lies to make his or her life easier and to get what they want at the risk of hurting someone they says they love.

Once I feel the pressure sliding down my body I have to wonder what happened in the relationship that caused this lack of respect. It IS a lack of respect when someone tells a lie because they know the truth will make them look like the piece of crap that they are. It’s like, “I’m doing the wrong thing but I don’t want you to be disappointed or angry with me.” Yeah right, then don’t make promises with your mouth that your actions can’t back up. Just sayin…

What is it about people who make promises when they know right up front that they have no intention of keeping their promise but they will hold their partner to theirs. Just drives me nuts.

Folks, it’s tough when you love someone you cannot trust. It leaves you feeling insecure and trying to decide if you should stay or go. Too often we’ll look at the relationship as a whole and remember the charming person who swept us off our feet and who can be very loving – and ignore how bad we feel when we get lied to.

Let me say that all of these reasons are crap.  Being lied to is not the price you must pay for being in a relationship with someone and not everyone will lie to you.  You will NEVER be responsible for anyone else’s behavior regardless what he or she says to the contrary.  We are all responsible for our own behavior and nobody can “make” you do anything – that’s just a sleazy excuse for abuse.

You found this person, didn’t you?  You’ll find another one the same way.  Being lied to tends to tarnish your sparkle a little bit but I promise that with a little dating practice you’ll polish up just fine.

As for why your liar creep keeps on lying?  Why should they change?  They’re in control, top dog and life is perfect just as it is.  They do as they please and then say, “oh, sorry about that,” and keep on keeping on.  You’re worth more.

Dating someone who travels alot

Growing pains When Dating Online

Which Battles Are Really Worth Fighting For?

How to Successfully Manage More Than One Online Girlfriend at a Time

What Are the Best Methods for Hiding Your Marriage From Your Girlfriend?

5 Bad Things to Say to a Single Woman

Looking for the Perfect Dating Site?

Crazy Glue Called LOVE

Are You Dating Psycho Boy?!!

A Cheesy Kind Of Love

Dating Site No-No’s

Divorce Concessions She got Facebook and I got Twitter

Four Dating Tips to Live By

Signs That Show Someone is interested in you

Bad Break Up Stories

Dating For Nerds: It Exists! Trust me!

Top Dating Tips for Women in Their 30s or 40s

A Cautionary Tale

Why You’ll Never Win a Fight

Getting Over the Anger In Relationships

Personal Ads in Newspapers versus Dating Online


" ["link"]=> string(73) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/09/what-to-do-when-they-lie.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(9234) "

I get this question fairly often and every time I hear the story I cringe inside. My first reaction is always anger at someome who lies to make his or her life easier and to get what they want at the risk of hurting someone they says they love.

Once I feel the pressure sliding down my body I have to wonder what happened in the relationship that caused this lack of respect. It IS a lack of respect when someone tells a lie because they know the truth will make them look like the piece of crap that they are. It’s like, “I’m doing the wrong thing but I don’t want you to be disappointed or angry with me.” Yeah right, then don’t make promises with your mouth that your actions can’t back up. Just sayin…

What is it about people who make promises when they know right up front that they have no intention of keeping their promise but they will hold their partner to theirs. Just drives me nuts.

Folks, it’s tough when you love someone you cannot trust. It leaves you feeling insecure and trying to decide if you should stay or go. Too often we’ll look at the relationship as a whole and remember the charming person who swept us off our feet and who can be very loving – and ignore how bad we feel when we get lied to.

Let me say that all of these reasons are crap.  Being lied to is not the price you must pay for being in a relationship with someone and not everyone will lie to you.  You will NEVER be responsible for anyone else’s behavior regardless what he or she says to the contrary.  We are all responsible for our own behavior and nobody can “make” you do anything – that’s just a sleazy excuse for abuse.

You found this person, didn’t you?  You’ll find another one the same way.  Being lied to tends to tarnish your sparkle a little bit but I promise that with a little dating practice you’ll polish up just fine.

As for why your liar creep keeps on lying?  Why should they change?  They’re in control, top dog and life is perfect just as it is.  They do as they please and then say, “oh, sorry about that,” and keep on keeping on.  You’re worth more.

Dating someone who travels alot

Growing pains When Dating Online

Which Battles Are Really Worth Fighting For?

How to Successfully Manage More Than One Online Girlfriend at a Time

What Are the Best Methods for Hiding Your Marriage From Your Girlfriend?

5 Bad Things to Say to a Single Woman

Looking for the Perfect Dating Site?

Crazy Glue Called LOVE

Are You Dating Psycho Boy?!!

A Cheesy Kind Of Love

Dating Site No-No’s

Divorce Concessions She got Facebook and I got Twitter

Four Dating Tips to Live By

Signs That Show Someone is interested in you

Bad Break Up Stories

Dating For Nerds: It Exists! Trust me!

Top Dating Tips for Women in Their 30s or 40s

A Cautionary Tale

Why You’ll Never Win a Fight

Getting Over the Anger In Relationships

Personal Ads in Newspapers versus Dating Online


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1599115500) } [23]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-8812884563438426579" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 31 Aug 2020 15:53:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-31T08:53:29.669-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(40) "You can always count on your girlfriends" ["description"]=> string(8060) "

 


My friend passed this on to me and it’s worth a post.

SISTERS

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and
visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage,
about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood,
the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned
a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

“Don’t forget your Sisters,” she advised, swirling the tea leaves to
the bottom of her glass. “They’ll be more important as you get older.
No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love
the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters.
Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.
Remember that ‘Sisters’ means ALL the women… your girlfriends, your
daughters, and all your other women relatives too. You’ll need other
women. Women always do.”

‘What a funny piece of advice!’ the young woman thought. ‘Haven’t I
just gotten married? Haven’t I just joined the couple-world? I’m now
a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and
the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!’

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and
made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after
another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew
what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and
their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I’ve learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL: Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates.
Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don’t
do what they’re supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues
forget favors. Careers end. BUT………

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are
between you. A girl friend is never farther away, than needing her, can
reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by
yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley’s rim,
cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley’s end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you.

Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters,
sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and
extended family, all bless our life! The world wouldn’t be the same
without women, and neither would I.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the
incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead Nor did we know how much
we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

10 Steps to Solidify Your Love

Flirting Tips – 4 “Tricks” To Advance a Relationship

Top 3 Ways To Turn an Online Chat into a Long Term Love

How The Superbowl Can Improve My Relationship

Am I Becoming a Prude?

“Just Say No” To Toxic ONLINE People

Relationships Red Flag Alert!

Safely Dating Online is About to Get Easier

The Race To MarryIm Not Winning

When Your Boyfriend’s Best Bud Is Gay

Spruce Up Your Online Dating Profile

Should We Just Be Friends?


" ["link"]=> string(89) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/you-can-always-count-on-your-girlfriends.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(8060) "

 


My friend passed this on to me and it’s worth a post.

SISTERS

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and
visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage,
about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood,
the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned
a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

“Don’t forget your Sisters,” she advised, swirling the tea leaves to
the bottom of her glass. “They’ll be more important as you get older.
No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love
the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters.
Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.
Remember that ‘Sisters’ means ALL the women… your girlfriends, your
daughters, and all your other women relatives too. You’ll need other
women. Women always do.”

‘What a funny piece of advice!’ the young woman thought. ‘Haven’t I
just gotten married? Haven’t I just joined the couple-world? I’m now
a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and
the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!’

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and
made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after
another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew
what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and
their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I’ve learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL: Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates.
Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don’t
do what they’re supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues
forget favors. Careers end. BUT………

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are
between you. A girl friend is never farther away, than needing her, can
reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by
yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley’s rim,
cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley’s end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you.

Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters,
sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and
extended family, all bless our life! The world wouldn’t be the same
without women, and neither would I.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the
incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead Nor did we know how much
we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

10 Steps to Solidify Your Love

Flirting Tips – 4 “Tricks” To Advance a Relationship

Top 3 Ways To Turn an Online Chat into a Long Term Love

How The Superbowl Can Improve My Relationship

Am I Becoming a Prude?

“Just Say No” To Toxic ONLINE People

Relationships Red Flag Alert!

Safely Dating Online is About to Get Easier

The Race To MarryIm Not Winning

When Your Boyfriend’s Best Bud Is Gay

Spruce Up Your Online Dating Profile

Should We Just Be Friends?


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1598889180) } [24]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(70) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3214354462823720985.post-6975666179021120231" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 27 Aug 2020 15:37:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-08-27T08:37:10.184-07:00" } ["title"]=> string(43) "Getting Started in Dating Guide – Plowing" ["description"]=> string(11608) "

 

What is Plowing

Plowing is a conversational technique of using brute force to get what you want.  It is basically talking over people and cutting them off so that you are constantly the dominant and leading force in conversations.  I am an aggressive person so I love plowing.  It may not be for you.  In fact it may be counterproductive for you if it doesn’t fit your personality. I find it extremely useful to get into set in loud fast paced clubby environments.  There are two forms of plowing; normal plowing and stacking plowing.

Plowing:

Normal plowing would be raising your voice over other people to get your point out.  This can also be done by cutting other peoples conversational threads to stay on your own material or threads.  This can be extremely useful when entering a set to gain attention.  Think of it as smashing around with a hammer to get your point across.  Sometimes it is necessary to get everyone’s attention and to keep the group on track.

Stacking and Plowing:

This is an extremely aggressive form of plowing which I use a lot when hooking sets in an extremely loud fast paced club. I will talk over people and continuously stacking different material until I get a reaction from the girls.  If they aren’t responding to something that I am saying I will start talking about something else.  If that doesn’t work I will start talking about something else and so on.  This is sometimes necessary to break into set.

Notice: These are aggressive.  I advocate them a lot in my game where Edge doesn’t really plow.  He uses finesse where I use a hammer.

Perfectionism and Not Feeling Up-to-it

What is Passion in Dating? (And Why Should We Care?)

Dating Game Lifestyle Development

Evolution of my Dating Mentality

The Power of the Straight Line

Avoiding Giving People the “Douche-Chills”

The Zen of Cooking and Seduction

Philippines Stripper Secrets

Expanding Your Consciousness

Growth = Trial, Error and Experimentation

How To Flirt On Facebook

Philippines Online Dating Evolution

Achieving Results In Your Dating Life Long Term

How to Have Mulitiple Long Term Relationships


How to Pick Up Hot & Sexy Women on the Dance Floor

It’s time to sharpen our skills and learn how to pick up and seduce all those hot & sexy women on the dance floor. Here are some helpful tips:

This is one of the more favourable and popular spots to meet hot women for sex and one night stands. They are there for the taking. Take your pick! The dance floor provides a perfect setting for meeting hot young women. It’s a vibrant and exciting atmosphere and most of the women are hot. It’s just simply a matter of approaching them and engaging them. That’s all there is to it.

A lot of guys make the mistake of going to the dance floor and just stare at women and they stroll up and down the floor not even smiling or enjoying themselves. They don’t even engage properly a girl that catches their eye. They just don’t have the guts to approach them. What’s really sad is that these women are there to have a good time and attract the opposite sex. Why do you think they are moving their bodies like these? It’s to turn you on and show off their assets.

So be bold and aggressive and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to pick up women on the dance floor. Now, I will describe some important techniques and strategies to use on the dance floor. Use them and you can’t fail and you will have the night of your life!

It’s important how you approach on the dance floor. Always approach from the side and never from behind. Also make sure you are in a club with music you really enjoy, you will look more relaxed and you will feel good.

The lowest risk approach is to make eye contact with your target and high five her. Then simply spin her. Don’t forget to smile and to look playful. From there you can escalate smoothly.

" ["link"]=> string(88) "https://abouemilytjane.blogspot.com/2020/08/getting-started-in-dating-guide-plowing.html" ["author"]=> string(26) "noreply@blogger.com (Alan)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(11608) "

 

What is Plowing

Plowing is a conversational technique of using brute force to get what you want.  It is basically talking over people and cutting them off so that you are constantly the dominant and leading force in conversations.  I am an aggressive person so I love plowing.  It may not be for you.  In fact it may be counterproductive for you if it doesn’t fit your personality. I find it extremely useful to get into set in loud fast paced clubby environments.  There are two forms of plowing; normal plowing and stacking plowing.

Plowing:

Normal plowing would be raising your voice over other people to get your point out.  This can also be done by cutting other peoples conversational threads to stay on your own material or threads.  This can be extremely useful when entering a set to gain attention.  Think of it as smashing around with a hammer to get your point across.  Sometimes it is necessary to get everyone’s attention and to keep the group on track.

Stacking and Plowing:

This is an extremely aggressive form of plowing which I use a lot when hooking sets in an extremely loud fast paced club. I will talk over people and continuously stacking different material until I get a reaction from the girls.  If they aren’t responding to something that I am saying I will start talking about something else.  If that doesn’t work I will start talking about something else and so on.  This is sometimes necessary to break into set.

Notice: These are aggressive.  I advocate them a lot in my game where Edge doesn’t really plow.  He uses finesse where I use a hammer.

Perfectionism and Not Feeling Up-to-it

What is Passion in Dating? (And Why Should We Care?)

Dating Game Lifestyle Development

Evolution of my Dating Mentality

The Power of the Straight Line

Avoiding Giving People the “Douche-Chills”

The Zen of Cooking and Seduction

Philippines Stripper Secrets

Expanding Your Consciousness

Growth = Trial, Error and Experimentation

How To Flirt On Facebook

Philippines Online Dating Evolution

Achieving Results In Your Dating Life Long Term

How to Have Mulitiple Long Term Relationships


How to Pick Up Hot & Sexy Women on the Dance Floor

It’s time to sharpen our skills and learn how to pick up and seduce all those hot & sexy women on the dance floor. Here are some helpful tips:

This is one of the more favourable and popular spots to meet hot women for sex and one night stands. They are there for the taking. Take your pick! The dance floor provides a perfect setting for meeting hot young women. It’s a vibrant and exciting atmosphere and most of the women are hot. It’s just simply a matter of approaching them and engaging them. That’s all there is to it.

A lot of guys make the mistake of going to the dance floor and just stare at women and they stroll up and down the floor not even smiling or enjoying themselves. They don’t even engage properly a girl that catches their eye. They just don’t have the guts to approach them. What’s really sad is that these women are there to have a good time and attract the opposite sex. Why do you think they are moving their bodies like these? It’s to turn you on and show off their assets.

So be bold and aggressive and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to pick up women on the dance floor. Now, I will describe some important techniques and strategies to use on the dance floor. Use them and you can’t fail and you will have the night of your life!

It’s important how you approach on the dance floor. Always approach from the side and never from behind. Also make sure you are in a club with music you really enjoy, you will look more relaxed and you will feel good.

The lowest risk approach is to make eye contact with your target and high five her. Then simply spin her. Don’t forget to smile and to look playful. From there you can escalate smoothly.

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